AWAKENING SELF NEWSLETTER — September 2004
***4th Anniversary Issue***

It's been an amazing and transformative 4 years - many intense world events and shifts, many changes in my life (including the upcoming baby!). I'm grateful I've had this way of sharing my insights and staying connected with all of you. :)

Next month, I'll have an article by a guest writer to share with you, as I'll either be close to labor or possibly already having a baby in my arms!

Thanks for being part of Awakening Self.
Blessings,
Connie

1) Announcements
2) Yoga of the Seasons: A Season of Gratitude
3) Class, Workshop, and Retreat Schedule
4) This month's article - "Motherhood as Renunication (Part 1)"
by Connie Habash
5) Spiritual Quotes

1) Announcements

MATERNITY LEAVE
I am now on maternity leave til the end of the year. I will have a few events, however, over the next four months, including 108 Surya Namaskars later this month (see below). Prenatal class on Mondays will continue as long as I feel up to it. Yoga schedule and counseling practice resume in January 2005. Look for the update on my website and coming newsletters.

Next 108 SURYA NAMASKARS coming up in September for the Autumn Equinox! Wednesday, Sept. 22nd from 7-9am at YIY in Mountain View. Come early or late, do 1 or 108, meditate, chant, just come celebrate! I chant the 12 mantras to the Sun 108 times, while the Ashtanga yogis lead the Surya Namskars. By donation. This will probably be my last public appearance before the baby arrives! :)


MARK HORNER returns to YIY in October! Yes, my long-time teacher Mark will be offering another SHADOW YOGA workshop on SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2ND and SUNDAY, OCTOBER 3RD. Those of you who raved about his workshop last time can expect another exciting and unusual
exploration of the Shadow style. If you didn't get to experience Mark last time, don't miss it!
This workshop will focus on the prelude form of Shadow Yoga, called "Chaya Yoddha Sanchalanam" (Yoking of the Shadow Warrior). This form consists of various stances including warrior forms linked with flowing and circular movements. Practiced in sync with the breath and Uddiyana Bandha, this relatively short practice is powerful in its effect. Meant as a prelude to Surya Namaskar and asana work, participants will learn the form and, time permitting, experience it as a lead-in to a dynamic asana practice.

Saturday, 10/2, 2-5pm
Sunday, 10/3, 12-3pm
$60 if by paid for by Sept 25, $70 thereafter
Yoga is Youthfulness, Mountain View

LEVEL II CD is on hold for right now. The music will not be ready before I go on maternity leave, so stay tuned. Look for it later this year or early 2005.

"WHAT THE #*$! DO WE KNOW?!" opening all across the country! Those of you in the midwest, south, and on the east coast, this spiritually-oriented movie has been so successful that it's now coming to your neighborhoods by mid-Sept. Check out the locations and showtimes at the website: http://www.whatthebleep.com/showtimes/

2) Yoga of the Seasons: A Season of Gratitude      

     As we prepare for the turn of the seasons once again into Autumn this month, we may be reminded of this time of the year that has been vital for milennia - the time of the harvest. Starting in early August, the grain harvests began and were highly celebrated, particularly by the Europeans whose very survival through the bitter Winters depended on a successful stock of the late summer-Autumn grains.

     Back in the days when life revolved around when food supplies were available (unlike today, where modern farming techniques and world-wide shipping enable us to get just about any food we want at most any time), this was an exciting and critical time in the year. There are typically several festivals celebrated throughout the harvest time. The first at the beginning of August, honoring the beginning of the harvest
(called Lammas or Lughnasad); the second around the Autumnal
equinox (known as Mabon); and the third at the end of October, Samhain, expressing gratitude for the last of the crops before settling in for colder weather. In America, we have added our traditional celebration of Thanksgiving, but many of don't realize that the season of thankfulness started long before November for our ancestors.

      Lammas, in early August, honored the grains that sustained many through long, cold winters. These first grains to ripen were usually wheat, barley, and oats, although they were all often lumped in the category considered "corn" - not referring to the yellow corn we are accustomed to in North America, but a general term referring to grain.

      Everyone in the community participated in the harvest, as their survival depended on its success. The word Lammas comes from the words "loaf mass", celebrating the bread made from this first grain. The baking of the bread was considered a sacred event, from the reaping and grinding of the grain, to removing it hot from the oven and serving it.

     To the Native Americans, by late summer and early Fall the stalks of corn were becoming ripe, and it was a time of celebration. Creek, Seminole, Iroquis, Yuchi, and Cherokee nations held the Green Corn festival. This typically happened during the full moon when the first round of ripe ears were ready for harvest. The ceremony lasts for several days, and includes the tasting of the initial crop through various corn-based foods, singing, dancing, and playing.

     In some of the country-folk traditions, the second harvest festival (called Mabon after a Welsh god) occured around the Autumnal equinox, and it often celebrated the grape harvest, and the continued bounty of the harvest begun in August. Seeds and grain were also gathered during this harvest for planting future crops. Certainly the Greeks found this an important time of the year, as they honored Dionysus, their god of wine and resurrection.

     Then in late October, at the last harvest holiday of Samhain, we saw the celebration of the apple harvest, which we often associate with Halloween (bobbing for apples), as well as pomegranates. The final crops of grains and vegetables are reaped, celebrated, and the people settled in for the dark and cold time of the year.

     Around the world, we can see similar rites, honoring the blessed grains, during this season. In Britain, the first sheaf of corn was offered to the Gods in order to ensure a good harvest next year, and for fertility. The Chinese celebrated Chung Ch'ui with the Full moon that fell on the 15th day of the eighth month (typically in early Sept.). This was considered the birthday of the moon, and special "moon cakes" were baked in a round shape to honor that celestial sphere. Jewish, Greek, and Roman traditions held their own harvest festivals, usually later in Sept or Oct.

     What all these celebrations have in common is gratitude. It is a season of feeling grateful for the bounty that the earth has provided us. From now through our American holiday of Thanksgiving in November, we can remind ourselves that these meals that show up on our table have, for ages, been sown, grown, and harvested by the blessing of Mother Nature. We have distanced ourselves so much from this process that we may not even notice much of the change of harvests from season to season or month to month at our grocery stores.

     Starting your own garden can put you back in touch with this cycle of life through looking at the foods that nature gives us. Visiting a farm, especially an organic farm that rotates its crops depending on season, can also awaken that sense of gratitude for what we receive. You can also celebrate this first harvest by baking a bread from your favorite grain. As you inhale that delicious aroma and place the first bite in your mouth, feel it as an expression of gratefulness for all that we receive. See if you can carry this attitude through the end of the summer and deep into the Autumn season.

copyright 2004 by Constance L. Habash

3) Class, Workshop, and Retreat Schedule: Summer 2004

RETREATS:

None scheduled until Spring 2005

WORKSHOPS:

SHADOW YOGA workshop with MARK HORNER:
"Introduction to the Prelude Form of the Practice"
Saturday and Sunday, Oct 2nd (2-5pm) and 3rd (12-3pm)
at Yoga is Youthfulness, Mountian View
$60 if paid for by Sept 25, $70 thereafter

Special THANKSGIVING MORNING CLASS coming in November: "Yoga for Good Digestion (and gratitude!)" at YIY
(see announcement in next month's newsletter)

CLASS SCHEDULE (PENINSULA & SOUTH BAY):

Continuing Yoga Classes:

MONDAYS
12:30 - 2 pm Prenatal will continue through Sept, as long as I'm feeling up to it!)
Devi Yoga, Menlo Park

TUESDAYS
9:30 - 11am — Beginning Iyengar & Vinyas
Lynn-Marie Murphy substitues until end of December
YIY, Mountain View

THURSDAYS
9:15 - 10:45am — All Levels Vinyasa & Iyengar
Nicole Perkins takes over the class on 9/9
Devi Yoga, Menlo Park

FRIDAYS
9:30 - 11am — All levels Iyengar & Vinyasa
Setareh Moafi substitutes until end of December
YIY, Mountain View

4) This month's article: "Motherhood as Renunciation (Part 1)"
by Connie Habash

     In the yogic tradition, there is a a word to describe one who has given up worldly comforts and pleasures in order to devote oneself fully to the path of spiritual transformation. This word is Sannyasin, or roughly translated into English, a renunicate. Meaning that she has renounced the traditional path that many of us follow - working at a job, partnering with someone in relationship, having a family, owning a home, etc.

     Alice Bailey defines the word a little more broadly: "One who...is dedicated to the life of spiritual growth and values, and to their teaching to others." In Hinduism, the Sannyasin is either someone who has already lived their life as an ordinary person, has fulfilled their duties to their family, and now can dedicate themselves to spiritual practice in order to attain liberation; or, they are choosing that path instead of embarking on the tradtional journey of marrying and leading a life in the day to day world. They will often go to live in an ashram, wander on pilgrimages
to sacred sites, or seek out a master to teach them the practices of meditation.

     Sannyasins are not limited to the Hindu tradition - they are found in all the spiritual traditions of the world. In the Christian as well as Buddhist traditions, we know them as monks or nuns. We see them in people who have chosen to remain
single and devote all their energy to whatever they see as serving a higher purpose - someone like Jane Goodall comes to mind. These courageous and dedicated beings have let go of material possessions, physical comforts, and the luxury of time as well as financial abundance to serve a higher purpose in some way.

     Over the last several months, as I have been traveling through the path of pregnancy, I've come to realize that in a similar way, the choice of becoming a mother is akin to the path of the Sannyasin. Motherhood, for all its attachments through the heart to a relationship with a unique being that becomes your son or daughter, is very much a path of giving up, or renouncing, much of what one has previously enjoyed, in order to experience a heart-opening that wouldn't otherwise be possible.

     Unencumbered by the changes of pregnancy and the demands of parenting, life is quite different before conception. Your body is pretty much your own to do with as you please. So is your time and your money, especially if you're single. Once
you've committed to bringing a new life into the world, however, we see a great many things that are sacrificed to serve this greater purpose of growing a being in the belly and raising it.

     The first thing I realized I had renounced when I discovered I was pregnant was my physical body. Of course, intellectually I knew that I would experience changes and my belly would grow. And I had heard of the symptoms that expectant mothers would typically have. But the reality of that didn't hit me until I actually experienced it. I no longer could even smell or taste food the same way! What a shock that was. I felt things happening to my body that had a life of their own (quite literally).
I had to give up many things I loved in my yoga practice, and grieved their loss, even though temporary.

     So, I had to give up a certain degree of freedom. Freedom to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted. My body was shutting down when it felt it needed to - I was literally forced into napping, for simple lack of the ability to keep my eyes open! I
had to make some changes to allow this process, and that meant giving some things up. Already. I didn't think I'd have to deal with this til later in the pregnancy, but there it was. I no longer had the same freedom in my body, nor with my time, energy, or priorities. Eating on schedule, which didn't hold much weight for me before, became essential. Cramming my day with things to do wasn't going to cut it anymore.

     Freedom was being packed up and sent off in return for more discipline in caring for myself, as well as more acceptance of things beyond my control. I had to give up control, because I didn't have it anymore. Pregnancy had started a process in motion that had its own life - the one growing inside of me. I couldn't predict what the next day would be like, or how I would feel in a month. As much as I wanted an "easy" pregnancy, who really knows? All I could do was take the best care of myself possible, and the rest was in the hands of something well beyond
me. So I had to surrender my tendency to have it all under my control, and learn to ride the waves as they came. Fortunately, there have been at least as many pleasant surprises as there have been difficulties I've had to embrace. There's nothing like feeling the foot of the baby inside push against my hand as I lovingly embrace my increasing round-fulness.

      Pregnancy has also required me to give up comfort. Even having a relatively easy pregnancy, there are certain discomforts that are inevitable, as the connective tissues loosen in the joints, especially in the pelvic area. This can cause strange sensations at best, and sharp pains at worst upon getting out of bed, getting up from sitting, or moving too rapidly in certain ways. The body reminds us - hey! You can't just pop up out of bed anymore! If the mother to be suffers from "morning"
sickness, we have to live with feeling pretty crappy, sometimes all day, for what seems like endless weeks, and often with little that relieves it.

     Near the end of pregnancy, the increasing weight of the belly makes daily navigation - like from bed to the bathroom, let alone in and out of the car or walking down the street - less and less comfortable, and more and more "interesting", sometimes down right unpleasant. Sleep doesn't come so easily anymore. There are many experiences I've had that are less than enjoyable in the
changes of this body. Still to come, is arguably the most challenging renunciation of physical comfort - labor! Yet, we give up that physical comfort, knowing that there's something greater than these temporary frustrations awaiting us on the other side.

     A renunciate gives up certain freedoms in order to have others. He gives up the freedom of being able to buy whatever he wants in order to have the free energy and time (that would have been spent on working at a job to pay for those material things) to devote to spirituality, and hopefully to progress in becoming closer to union with the Divine. A mother, on the other hand, gives up a great many personal freedoms in order to experience the joy and growth of raising a unique being. Parents have the opportunity to feel a closer union with the Divine through a deep
oneness with this special soul they call their child. Both paths require a sacrifice that, although giving up many things, opens us to experiences that were not possible or conceivable before.

     There is much physical suffering that a Sannyasin often endures in their path of renunciation. They may have to endure cold, sleeping outdoors or without ownership of blankets or shelter. They may go hungry for periods of time, or suffer illness. Just as the pregnant mother willingly suffers her pains and discomforts, the renunciate is willing to endure these experiences, knowing that they offer a powerful lesson: we are more than our bodies. We have an essence that transcends these temporary discomforts.

     That has been one of the most powerful experiences I have had in my pregnancy. In being willing to give up what before has been comfortable and pleasant in my body, I've understood that, although I'm here in this body and it's doing these strange things in order to make a life in my belly, "I" am not this body. I'm witnessing the process happen. I can either get wrapped up in feeling ill, tired, or uncomfortable for the moment, or I can remember that this does not go on forever, and there is a part of me - my true Self - that is not this physical discomfort.

     The True Self is not my thoughts or emotions, either. Throughout pregnancy, it's common to have many mental and emotional roller coasters. I've learned that a sense of detachment about these inner experiences reveals that they are no different than the passing sensations that I have when my baby kicks me in the diaphram or twists her head into the nerve endings in my pelvis - they come and go, but they are temporary.
    
     Meditation isn't really all that different for the expectant mother than the Sannyasin; we both have thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that arise in our consciousness, and we have the choice of getting caught up in them, or letting them go and attempting to see beyond them to greater possibility. We are not defined by these thoughts, these feelings, nor even these changes that our bodies are experiencing, whether in pregnancy, as we age, or following an injury or a disability. Both the Sannyasin and the Mother-to-be have the opportunity to see beyond these conditions and find a more expansive understanding of who we are.

     As I enter my last weeks of carrying the baby, perhaps one of the most powerful renunciations faces me: giving up fear. Or, facing my fears and knowing that I have the courage to meet and transcend them. When we commit to giving birth, there is no backing out. We must follow through to the end, and whether you end up having a "natural" birth, a pain killer, or a Cesarean, there are fears you'll have to embrace with a courage that perhaps you'd never access without walking this path of Motherhood. We cannot afford to allow the fear to consume us, as we muster everything we have not only for labor, but the great responsibilities and demands that a newborn brings.

     There are few situations in life that require that level of courage, and give us no way out of it. A Sannyasin commits to facing whatever fears arise in not having the same sense of security that an ordinary person may have in having clothing, food, and a roof over the head. When a monk or nun takes a vow of poverty, there is a great courage that they commit to when the going gets rough.

     Although we cannot all be mothers or Sannyasins, we have all had situations at some time in our lives that forced us to give up something important - security, comfort, familiarity. Getting on a plane and traveling to a foreign country by yourself. Undergoing major surgery. Quitting a cushy job and going back to school. Starting your own business. Leaving an abusive relationship. Or committing yourself in marriage to a joyful one can also bring up entirely new territory! We all, at one time or another, have to renounce something we're attached to in order to gain something we desire.

     Renunciation is painful, scary, and challenging. And it is through the willingness to experience that pain, fear, and difficulty that makes the sacrifice worthwhile - we become stronger, more courageous, more compassionate, and more peaceful beings when we make these committments to let go and face what is most difficult. We renounce because it's the only thing that leads us to greater potential within ourselves. We won't become more expansive by contracting and clinging to what is safe, familiar, and comfortable. So, we step out into the unknown and give something up, so that we can become more of who we can be.

      I now stand at the threshold of one of the greatest renunciations I'll ever experience: motherhood. Perhaps you've been there, too. I await to see what greater potential lies within myself that only leaving what's been familiar and walking through this doorway will reveal.

Stay tuned for Part 2... :)

Copyright 2004, by Constance L. Habash

5) Spiritual Quotes

"The gentlest thing in the world overcomes the hardest thing in the world."
~ Lao Tzu, The Tao Te Ching

"Fall seven times, stand up eight"
~ Japanese proverb

"You could call God's hand on you 'the touch of greatness'. You do not become great; He becomes great through you."
~ Bruce Wilkinson, "The Prayer of Jabez"

Blessings,
Connie

back to top