It had been 3 days since the fever began, and the last two had been pretty uncomfortable for my almost 18 month old daughter. Nights were restless, arching her back and crying every one to two hours, clinging to me and playing with my hair when her tummy wasn't in pain. Days weren't much better - whiny and irritable, unable to eat yet hungry, unable to rest yet tired. It was my first time being Mom to a wee one who was throwing up and burning up, and I was anxious and distressed to see her so.
     On the third night, it was as if a light switch turned on and we saw the return of our delightful little girl. Her energy soared as she toddled around the house, yakking away, giggling and bouncing like she always does. I asked her, "Are you happy?" She grinned broadly and said "Happy!"
     Happiness for a toddler is ebullient and obvious. They are bursting all over with joy and it's completely contagious. Only a moment before she may have been stubborn and pouting, but in a flash something can shift her into a happy mood. All the frustration is forgotten in that split second: young children are masters of letting go.
     For most of the rest of us, happiness is more elusive, and even more fickle. Our joy is easily disturbed, and it seems to take more effort to find it again. When we do get it back, it doesn't last. Still, we all, in one way or another, long for happiness. Even the foundation of my country, the Declaration of Independence, is based on it: "all men are created equal... with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness".
     It is perhaps this issue of pursuit that hinders our ability to experience happiness more than anything else. Although the founding fathers may have had a different idea of what that pursuit of happiness was, today most of our economy is based upon dissatisfaction and the drive towards pleasure, comfort, and happiness being dependent on consuming more. That consumption may include rich food, the latest in fashion, new gadgets, keeping up with what is trendy, and accummulating more as a basis for feeling satisfied. Industry can count on the fact that no matter how much people buy, when they believe that having things will lead to happiness, they'll always want more. It's almost an inverse relationship: the more one bases her joy on acquiring things, the less happy she is with each acquisition.
     The same dissatisfaction tends to arise from acheivement. Many of us feel that in order to feel worthy or acceptable we must have a certain number of accomplishments under our belt. While reaching goals and making contributions to the world have merit, when we base our feeling of well-being and satisfaction on doing them - and continuing to do them - we will often end up feeling that our efforts are not enough. When we get the degree, we want to get the great job, or the post-graduate degree, or to become the best in our field. Some people reach all their goals and still wonder why they feel restless, dissatisfied, or somehow still unworthy. Happiness may be temporarily attained with each contract we gain from a client or with kudos we receive from the community, yet it eventually fades and we again look longingly at the horizon for what will fill our heart with something lasting.
     The last area we usually seek happiness from is our relationships. Falling in love has long been touted as the answer to unending joy. Yet fairy tales always stop at "they lived happily ever after". We're led to believe from a young age that once we find that special partner, we're set for life and we'll never deal with the throes of depression again. Anyone who has been in a relationship knows that it's a different story after Cinderella gets her prince. Relationships that last and continue to be loving require work, patience, and understanding, among other things, and that may not be enough to keep a couple together. Sometimes, things fall apart and if we base our happiness on the relationship, so, too, will it crumble.
     This disillusionment also happens to new parents, who might hope that their baby will bring the long-sought after joy they've always wanted. This lasts usually until the first bought of crying, the long nights of sleeplessness, the first illness, or the emergence of rebelliousness on the part of the child. Suddenly the little angel has become a source of frustration and misery.
     Even for couples blessed with a joyful partnership or parents who have a good-natured child, positive relationships may not be enough for a person to feel true happiness inside. It is the nature of the universe to change. All experiences will have their highs and lows. What was once new and shiny will someday be old and worn. Any time that we base our inner satisfaction on conditions outside ourselves, whether they be material gain, accomplishment, or interconnectedness, we may be setting ourselves up for being disappointed. There are cloudy days; happiness comes and goes.
     Many spiritual traditions address how to achieve this elusive and desirable emotional state, including the science and philosophy of yoga. But happiness is a rather broad subject. People can conceive of it as anything from total exuberance to peaceful pleasantness. In yogic philosophy, there are three basic interpretations of the experience of "happiness". These are very different experiences and it's helpful to distinguish them.
     The first of these three yogic concepts is Sukha (Soo-KHuh), most commonly translated as happy or pleasant. It's also been referred to as "easy", "comfortable", or even "well-being".
     The quality of Sukha is considered a cornerstone of yoga practice. One of the most frequently quoted passages from the yoga sutras says that "the pose or seat should be stable and comfortable." (Sthira Sukham Asanam) This refers to the fact that it's awfully hard to sit still, whether in a traditional yoga posture or while meditating, when you're feeling ill at ease. If the body or mind are restless, uncomfortable, or unhappy, concentration and meditation will be very difficult to acheive. So part of the basic practice of yoga is finding a sense of ease and comfortableness, and creating well-being.
     Babies naturally exude a lot of Sukha. It doesn't take much to make them happy. They can revel in a daisy, the sound of a bird, or a fire truck driving by. Simple and novel things bring out their innate happiness. They also model the experience of ease. Just watch an infant lie on his back, reach for his foot, and suck on his toes. He's perfectly at ease with his body and everything is open and comfortable. Yet, like grown-ups, a baby's happy mood can shift and change just as easily. So it takes more than baby-consciousness to embody Sukha.
      Happiness for adults is usually based on the experience of things being easy, comfortable, and going the way you want. We're often happy when we are healthy, have money, are doing things we enjoy, and having good connections with others. For yogis, we may be happy when we can do more "advanced" yoga poses. As long as we keep getting what we want - whether we're buying it, acheiving it, or creating it - we feel pretty happy.
     It is also easy to feel Sukha when something that caused your suffering suddenly disappears, like my daughter's flu. So you could say the obvious: when things are good, we're happy. But that's not what we're truly looking for when we're seeking Sukha, because it's easy to be happy when things are, well, easy. What we'd like to experience is a state of happiness all the time - which is difficult when times are tough.
     The second state of being that people often associate with happiness is Santosha (Sahn-toe-shuh), or contentment. Contentment can be understood in a number of ways. It's the ability to be satisfied with the moment as it is. When what we have, what we do, and who we are is enough in the moment, we experience Santosha. Contentment is also the capacity to accept whatever is, whether pleasant or unpleasant, comfortable or uncomfortable. When we feel a foundation of inner peace that we're OK, no matter what happens to us, that is the experience of Santosha. From the place of Santosha, we can appropriately respond to any situation from a calm and centered consciousness.
     We can also see Santosha in young children. They have moments of feeling quite at peace with just being themselves. Being held in a parent's arms can bring about the feeling of contentment. But Santosha is harder to experience for a baby than Sukha. Sukha can be created by doing or receiving something enjoyable; but Santosha is an inner practice that comes from experiencing, over a period of time, the feeling of security inside ourselves in the midst of challenge. This means we survive failures or pain and come out understanding that we're really still OK. Babies simply don't have enough of those experiences and inner resources yet, so they have to depend on a caretaker to provide the feeling of being alright. This dependency on others or on particular results to give us a feeling of satisfaction or contentment can extend even into adulthood if we didn't have enough security as a child.
     Finally, Ananda (AAH-nahn-duh) is the third state of happiness. Ananda is usually described as "joy". Yet this is a joy that is more than what a child feels on Christmas morning as they run downstairs to see all their presents. It's not even the sense of elation that a couple feels on their wedding day. Ananda is beyond that. A second definition of Ananda is "God, Supreme Spirit". People who experience Ananda are said to be in Supreme bliss.
     Unlike Sukha, which depends on creating a situation that is pleasant, or Santosha, which is an inner practice of contentment in every situation, Ananda is the experience of joy through transcendence. When we transcend, or step beyond, experiences of pleasure or pain, comfort or discomfort, attachment or aversion, we know the bliss of no longer being limited by any of these experiences. Ananda gives us the joy of being truly free in our bodies, hearts, minds, and spirits. It is a bliss that is difficult to imagine because very few of us have experienced it. This is the state of consciousness that is described by many mystical traditions as being one with God, and those who have tasted of Ananda usually only do so after many long years of meditation, prayer, and other intense spiritual practices.
     We can only guess as to whether babies ever experience a sense of deep bliss - perhaps in the womb, at birth or at conception. But some believe that the expansive and all-consuming joy that parents feel towards their newborns may give us a glimpse into this feeling. If we can imagine feeling that unconditional and seemingly limitless love towards all beings and in all conditions, we can experience the bliss of Ananda.
     Happiness is a state we all long for and all can have, depending on how you determine your source of happiness. You can focus on creating Sukha, comfortableness, in your body and your day to day life, but it will not be possible to maintain in all situations. You can reach deeper to cultivate Santosha, contentment, and experience more peace of mind through the ups and downs of life. And if you wish, you can strive towards the ultimate goal of unlimited joy, Ananda, and seek oneness with the Divine.
     For now, I'm happy when my daughter is healthy and happy, and content to have moments of her joy.

Copyright © 2006 by Constance L. Habash