This Month's Article:
"On Gratitude and Kindness "
by Connie Habash
While we're dealing with the cooler weather and the need to keep our bodies warm, there's something stirring inside us that is activated by the Autumn season. We become nostalgic, and occasionally sad or lonely. Perhaps it's the leaves turning and falling from the trees, reminding us of the impermanence of life, that brings up this melancholy.
Often, our hearts need extra soothing and care as we deepen into the Fall season. And while we recognize this need within our own souls, we can acknowledge that others, too, long for this tender care. There is no better time than now to cultivate warmth within your heart and embrace other hearts with TLC (tender, loving care), too.
Nothing warms the heart more than a little kindness and gratitude. A kind act turns a sour day into a sweet one. The giver and the receiver are both transformed. Gratitude fills us with the recognition of the many blessings we have; gratitude towards another affirms their contribution to your life, and encourages them to keep giving.
Gratitude is most powerful when we recognize what we already have: before the Thanksgiving feast, our life is abundant and rich if we allow ourselves to see it. We don't need more than what we already have to be grateful. How interesting that our tradition at this time of year is to create a huge feast in order to express our gratitude? When we already see how much we are blessed, even just by the gift of life, then everyday becomes a Thanksgiving event. This warms the heart even on the coldest of days.
Here's an even greater challenge - can we be grateful even when we don't receive what we want? Can we feel appreciation when the clerk at the grocery store is rude, or we lose a five dollar bill? We can acknowledge the stress the clerk feels, or give thanks that we have eyes to see the scowl on their face. Envision someone receiving that $5 who really needs it. What an interesting way to practice gratitude! No situation would be impossible to find something to be thankful for.
You may discover that the more you practice gratitude, the more abundance and blessings show up in your life. This isn't surprising - think about someone you've given something to recently who seemed truly grateful for it. Didn't it make you want to continue to give? When something is received with disappointment or an attitude of expecting more, it's discouraging. We tend to feel less inclined to give to that person, or that we can't make them happy. The universe responds similarly - when we're grateful and appreciative, it's natural to attract more abundance, and when we're constantly disappointed by what we receive, we end up cutting off the natural flow. Filled with gratitude, or grate-full, life becomes gratifying and satisfying.
Gratitude and kindness go hand in hand. While gratitude is an attitude of receiving, kindness is an attitude of giving - to yourself as well as others. Kindness is like having a cozy, soft blanket wrapped around you when you're shivering. It's comforting and loving. Maybe that clerk needed just one person to act as if what he or she was doing really mattered. Perhaps your neighbor could use a hand with their groceries. And maybe you, of all people, need to go a little easier on yourself! Think of the kind words you would like to hear, and focus on those instead of any critical thoughts you tend to plague yourself with. Wrap that warm blanket around your own shoulders and cut yourself some slack.
Kindness is one of the main practices in all world religions. Kindness brings us in a closer relationship with the divine. When we are being kind, we are serving the Divine in the other person, and ourselves. The Dalia Lama says that his religion is kindness. It all boils down to that. We don't need to do more - if we are thoughtful and kind, we are practicing love. This is one of the highest spiritual principles. We become more of our Divine essence by practicing kind acts. To quote Eric Hoffer: "Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind."
There are many forms that kindness can take. It isn't just being sweet to someone. Yes, treating someone with gentle and appreciate words may be kindness. But sometimes, the kindest thing is "to remove the stick that's in your eye". It hurts, but it's a lot better than leaving the stick there. Sometimes, in order to be kind to ourselves, we have to be strong and do what we know is for the highest and best, even if it's hard or unpleasant. A true practice of kindness is doing the action that most serves the other without attachment to outcome -- even whether they like it or not. Removing a splinter with a needle may be a difficult and upsetting experience for your toddler (not to mention you!), but if it's infected, then you know it's the most kind thing to do. When love requires us to do these difficult tasks, apply the action with as much compassion as possible, embodying both a kind action as well as a kind attitude.
While on your yoga mat, be kind in your attitude towards yourself. If a sensation is intense but somehow healing for you, be gentle and grateful for the ability to breathe into it. When attempting a scary or difficult pose, appreciate what you're able to do and let go of the rest. It is indeed a good thing to challenge yourself, and equally good to appreciate and accept yourself exactly where you are.
Fall is a challenging time on the emotions, so it's essential right now to treat yourself and others with care. Let Thanksgiving be a practice of kindness and gratitude each day. You won't need a big feast to feel full and satisfied within.
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