Awakening Self: This month's Newsletter by Connie Habash

This Month's Article:

"Being Empty "
by Connie Habash

[Every once in a while, as I glance at past articles I've written, one hits me over the head. I really needed to read this one again - how about you?
~ Connie]

I have so much to do! There's not enough time! What do I have to get done today? I need to make a TO DO list. These are familiar phrases to most of us. Our lives are focused around doing. And not just doing - doing more, doing faster, doing better. It's never enough. These attitudes have contributed to the creation of a society that's on the fast track - with little hope of getting off. Fast food, fast internet connections, fast results (yeah, lose 20 lbs in a week!), fast, fast, fast.

What does this frantic pace of doing, doing, doing result in? Stress. Our modern culture experiences stress in ways that perhaps it has never been experienced in history. What's strange is that we live in a time of more conveniences and more safety in the world than ever before. Aren't washing machines, computers, cell phones, supposed to save us time and effort? Yet it seems that rather than having more time, we use them to squeeze more "doings" into our day. We don't have to worry about saber-toothed tigers chasing us down. Yet our bodies are in a constant state of heightened stress, which is showing up in continual stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system: adrenaline pumping, hyper vigilance, higher blood pressure, higher heart rates. Our bodies are not given the time to relax and allow the sympathetic nervous system to calm down. If it doesn't let go and allow the parasympathetic nervous system (which creates relaxation in the body) to function, this contributes to further symptoms: undigested food, difficulty sleeping, anxiety, tense muscles. There's a high cost to the drive to do more, better, and faster, and we're just beginning to realize it.

Here many of us are, our minds racing around at 100 mph, it's hard to fall asleep, our bodies are restless, and it seems that whatever we do just isn't enough. The challenge is that we overvalue doing, and undervalue being. Relaxation isn't encouraged, or even supported, in our culture. We seek peace of mind, but we mistakenly believe that we'll get it when we've "done" enough. After years of this "doing", it may be a little shocking to realize that it's not the doing that will bring that peace. When we can allow ourselves to be for a while - meditate, do a restorative pose, lie on the grass and gaze up at the sky - we begin to access a sense of timelessness, a sense of peace within ourselves that we'll never reach if we always base our self-worth and sense of fulfillment on doing.

So what's the obsession with doing all about? One possibility is that doing is often an escape from a feeling of emptiness inside. And emptiness can be more than a little uncomfortable for most of us. We get panicked when our gas tanks, our bank accounts, our calendars, our stomachs become empty! It feels vulnerable and scary. It makes sense that we'd avoid experiencing it within ourselves. Empty is undefined, dark, unknown, and very silent. It requires trust and courage. And it is a part of all of us, whether we choose to avoid it or to embrace it.

Being allows us to embrace that emptiness, not as something that needs to be filled, but as a natural part of ourselves - the vast openness of space, the empty bowl that can be filled with anything. We all have that inner emptiness of unlimited potential, and part of our suffering is the belief that we shouldn't have emptiness inside - something must be wrong if I feel this emptiness. But it's simply not true. That emptiness is the essence of being. If our lives were always full, when would there be time to smell the flowers? If our stomachs were always full, would we be able to enjoy the tastes of our favorite foods? If our mailbox is always full, do we ever have the time to enjoy reading a heartfelt letter? It's the emptiness that makes a cave magical - if it were full of stuff, there'd be no cave. It's the emptiness of a well that allows it to have space to contain the water. The silence and peace of a desert comes from its emptiness.

Our emptiness within is precious, and it's the key to our essential nature. Our essence is not based on any of our "doings" in life. In the restorative teacher training I did with Judith Lasater, she asserted that we all want to be loved for WHO we are: yet we settle for being loved for what we can do or achieve. Who we are is beyond all of the doings. It's a quality that others can feel in our presence, our touch, our silence, and our words.

You may be able to think of someone in your life that doesn't run around and do a lot, yet they're a pleasure to be around. You can simply relax and be yourself in their presence. This quality of being comes from appreciating the emptiness, the silence, and our essential nature that is beyond achievements and activities. When we can appreciate our emptiness within, we can find that peaceful, quiet stillness that we all long for.

The emptiness, our inner essence, is also that which our creativity springs out of. Only when we give ourselves that inner space, letting go of doing for a while, can these new ideas and expressions come forth. The painting emerges from an empty canvas, not usually one that is already painted on. The pot is shaped from a lump of clay, and the sculpture is found in the raw stone: we must start from the place of the unknown, and if we are attuned to that essence, it will begin to emerge out of our inner formlessness and take on its outer essential nature. Emerging from the place of being just a simple rock, or a blank page.

Breathe in. Then, exhale out completely, and feel the emptiness. That emptiness allows you to take a deep, full breath again. The fact that the lungs have space, emptiness inside of them allows you to take in oxygen. Let yourself Be a little bit. Feel your essence, which is beyond any of your doings. It is that which is your greatest treasure, which no one can take away, and nothing can change.

To quote the Tao Te Ching:

We join the spokes together in a wheel,
but it is the center hole
that makes the wagon move.

We shape clay into a pot,
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want.

We hammer wood for a house,
but it is the inner space
that makes it livable.

Benefit may be derived from something,
but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.