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"What You Put Your Attention On"
— by Connie Habash
My husband and I
arrived at the doctor's office for my amniocentesis, and I was pleased that
I was still relaxed and calm. A test that is often done for "older"
women around the middle of their pregnancy to determine if there are any chromosonal
defects, it is known to cause some trepidation in expectant mothers. It involves
inserting a needle into the uterus through the belly to remove a small amount
of amniotic fluid. Without painkillers. I was a bit concerned about the amount
of discomfort I might feel, but I was assured that it's quite mild.
After months of anticipation, I felt I had
prepared myself
pretty well for this event. I had even spent time talking to
the baby in my mind, going over what to expect from the
procedure and that everything would be fine. It was soothing
just as much for myself as I imagined it was for the baby, if
it could understand my communications.
.
We spent several joyful minutes looking at the
fetus on
the ultrasound monitor, and then the technician left the room
and I knew the time had come. I felt my heartbeat start to
speed up as I anticipated what may happen. Will I be able to
handle this without panicking? How painful will it be?
Will the baby be OK? Fearful thoughts started popping up,
and I felt like I was frantically running around putting fires
out in my head, trying to knock out the anxiousness that could
affect my experience of the procedure.
I knew that I would need to focus my mind elsewhere
if I
was to remain calm. Looking at the needle was not an option
for me! Especially when I saw the doctor's assistant unwrap
it - it looked more like a cocktail straw than a needle! OK,
don't think about it, just trust in the Divine.
The attention of the mind is essential for
the success of any
endeavor, and particularly for maintaining calm in an
anxiety-producing situation. Many emergency rescue workers
can attest to putting the danger that they or the rescuees are in
out of their minds and staying focused intently on the task at
hand. If they allow themselves to panic, they'll be ineffective
and will increase the anxiety of the injured party as well.
This is also a key component in competitive
sports. The
best athletes not only have talent and skill, but that ability
for the mind to be in the "zone" - to be completely at one with
what needs to be done, and to put doubtful, fearful, angry,
and critical thoughts out of the mind. One can't afford such
mental distractions in situations when one bad step or a
missed moment can throw off the whole game.
Everyday, we are faced with situations, stressful
as well
as simple, and we are constantly bombarded with mental
chatter. What will we pay attention to? Will we allow
ourselves to get caught up in the annoyance of an angering
phone call and unconsciously speed up behind the car in
front of us and put ourselves and others in danger? If we
remain obsessed with the frustration of our day at work
when we come home, what precious moment might we
miss with our baby or our children? And more importantly,
when a fearful situation arises, how can we keep the mental
anxiety at bay so that we can most effectively deal with it?
What we put our attention on can dramatically
affect
our experience of life. We can focus on what is lacking
in our life, and feel depressed. Certainly, it's not hard to
do that - there's always something that's missing or difficult
to achieve. Or, we can turn our attention to the blessings
we have and what we are able to do.
What a difference this makes in our inner attitude
towards ourselves and others. We can see each situation
as having great potential, as something that we can enjoy,
or at least learn from. Or we can focus on our worries
about the outcome, what could go wrong, what may
disappoint us. In the first instance, we meet others with an
open heart and enthusiasm; in the second, we walk around
guarded, suspicious, and holding back from participating.
This does not mean that we ignore problems
we have,
or avoid thinking about something that is causing us stress.
But we change our orientation to it - rather than focus on
all the problems it is causing, we can focus on potential
solutions, or the best way in which we can get through the
challenge. We can practice envisioning positive ways to
work out the situation and staying in our center as it arises
and passes.
Our mental habits of attention in day to day life
may
show up strongly in crisis situations. If we have a
tendency to see the good in most things, we'll be more
likely to maintain hopefulness and confidence that we
can come through despite the difficulty. Or, we can fall
apart at the seams and give in to hopelessness. This has
been found to correspond with recovery rates of patients
in various diseases. The mental status and place where
we put our attention greatly affects healing and coming
through the challenging times.
I have found that my years of yoga practice
are truly
paying off in so many ways, most especially when I face
fear and challenges. Learning to steady the breath,
even when in an arm balance or flowing through a 3rd
Surya Namaskar B, simulates when we face difficult life
situations. It's become second nature to me to come back
to my breath, slow down, and focus within. No, I'm not
perfectly at peace, but considerably more calm than
when I allow my mind and breath to run with the fear.
It's also helped to remember difficult times
and painful
situations that I have made it through in the past. This
includes, on a smaller scale, having explored yoga poses
that for years were painful, scary, or incredibly demanding,
and eventually having a triumphant success - even for just
a moment or a day - in performing them. I've been able to
do more than I ever imagined when I started yoga, and
faced some trepidations through various poses that required
me to trust a part of myself - or to trust another person -
that I didn't know was there. With that foundation, I knew
that I was capable of dealing with more than I realized,
and I could certainly get through this situation.
Having a strong connection with the Divine also
gave me
an inner "hand" to hold while I'm feeling worried (although
my husband's hand was there, too, during the procedure).
I remind myself that something greater than I am is watching
over the whole process and taking care of me better than I
can take care of myself. That gives me peace of mind and
helps me to relax and trust, even in the face of the unknown.
A moment of panic set in as the doctor explained
the
possible sensations I might experience - would I feel pain,
would it be tolerable, would something go wrong? There
was a strong pull to follow those thoughts into panic. I had
to, in a split second, decide to let go that information and
come back to my center. That was the only safe place to be.
Yes, it was somewhat painful, but not anything
I couldn't
handle. Whenever I found my mind turning towards the
sensations of the needle in my belly, I instinctively returned
my attention to my breath, and offered inner words of
comfort to my unborn child - everything is OK, I'm right
here. Breathing, breathing; inhale and exhale, slow and
steady.
Before I knew it, it was over, and all was well. I sighed
with relief and joy, a first hurdle on my path to bringing this
child into the world. I knew that this would be a preliminary
test to prepare me for the rigors of labor. Who knows how I
will deal with that - but I do know that I have the tools within
me to place my attention on a more steady, calm, centered
place within myself, no matter what arises in my life or in
my mind. It's bound to help me through whatever lies
ahead.
Notice what you put your attention on. You do
have a
choice. Explore the ability in your mind to focus on what
supports you the most or keeps you relaxed during difficulty,
and notice how you can respond more easily and effectively
to the challenges of life.
— ©2004 by Connie Habash