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Being Empty — by Connie Habash
I
have so much to do! There's
not enough time! What do
I have to get done today?
I need to make a TO DO list.
These are familiar phrases
to most of us. Our lives
are focused around doing.
And not just doing - doing
more, doing faster, doing
better. It's never enough.
These attitudes have contributed
to the creation of a society
that's on the fast track
- with little hope of getting
off. Fast food, fast internet
connections, fast results
(yeah, lose 20 lbs in a
week!), fast, fast, fast.
What
do we know that this results
in? Stress. Our modern culture
experiences stress in ways
that perhaps it has never
been experienced in history.
What's strange is that we
live in a time of more conveniences
and more safety in the world
than ever before. Aren't
washing machines, computers,
cell phones, supposed to
save us time and effort?
Yet it seems that rather
than having more time, we
use them to squeeze more
"doings" into our day. We
don't have to worry about
saber-toothed tigers chasing
us down. Yet our bodies
are in a constant state
of heightened stress, which
is showing up in continual
stimulation of the sympathetic
nervous system: adrenaline
pumping, hypervigilance,
higher blood pressure, higher
heart rates. Our bodies
are not given the time to
relax and allow the sympathetic
nervous system to calm down.
If it doesn't let go and
allow the parasympathetic
nervous system (which creates
relaxation in the body)
to function, this contributes
to further symptoms: undigested
food, difficulty sleeping,
anxiety, tense muscles.
There's a high cost to the
drive to do more, better,
and faster, and we're just
beginning to realize it.
Here
many of us are, our minds
racing around at 100 mph,
it's hard to fall asleep,
our bodies are restless,
and it seems that whatever
we do just isn't enough.
The challenge is that we
overvalue doing, and undervalue
being. Relaxation isn't
encouraged, or even supported,
in our culture. We seek
peace of mind, but we mistakenly
believe that we'll get it
when we've "done" enough.
After years of this doing,
it may be a little shocking
to realize that it's not
the doing that will bring
that peace. When we can
allow ourselves to be for
a while - meditate, do a
restorative pose, lie on
the grass and gaze up at
the sky - we begin to access
a sense of timelessness,
a sense of peace within
ourselves that we'll never
reach if we always base
our self-worth and sense
of fulfillment on doing.
So
what's the obsession with
doing all about? One possibility
is that doing is often an
escape from a feeling of
emptiness inside. And emptiness
can be more than a little
uncomfortable for most of
us. We get panicked when
our gas tanks, our bank
accounts, our calendars,
our stomachs become empty!
It feels vulnerable and
scary. It makes sense that
we'd avoid experiencing
it within ourselves. Empty
is undefined, dark, unknown,
and very silent. It requires
trust and courage. And it
is a part of all of us,
whether we choose to avoid
it or to embrace it.
Being
allows us to embrace that
emptiness, not as something
that needs to be filled,
but as a natural part of
ourselves - the vast openness
of space, the empty bowl
that can be filled with
anything. We all have that
inner emptiness of unlimited
potential, and part of our
suffering is the belief
that we shouldn't have emptiness
inside - something must
be wrong if I feel this
emptiness. But it's simply
not true. That emptiness
is the essence of being.
If our lives were always
full, when would there be
time to smell the flowers?
If our stomachs were always
full, would we be able to
enjoy the tastes of our
favorite foods? If our mailbox
is always full, do we ever
have the time to enjoy reading
a heartfelt letter? It's
the emptiness that makes
a cave magical - if it were
full of stuff, there'd be
no cave. It's the emptiness
of a well that allows it
to have space to contain
the water. The silence and
peace of a desert comes
from its emptiness.
Our
emptiness within is precious,
and it's the key to our
essential nature. Our essence
is not based on any of our
"doings" in life. In the
restorative teacher training
I did with Judith Lasater,
she asserted that we all
want to be loved for WHO
we are: yet we settle for
being loved for what we
can do or achieve. Who we
are is beyond all of the
doings. It's a quality that
others can feel in our presence,
our touch, our silence,
and our words.
You
may be able to think of
someone in your life that
doesn't run around and do
a lot, yet they're a pleasure
to be around. You can just
relax and be yourself in
their presence. This quality
of being comes from appreciating
the emptiness, the silence,
and our essential nature
that is beyond achievements
and activities. When we
can appreciate our emptiness
within, we can find that
peaceful, quiet stillness
that we all long for.
The
emptiness, our inner essence,
is also that which our creativity
springs out of. Only when
we give ourselves that inner
space, letting go of doing
for a while, can these new
ideas and expressions come
forth. The painting emerges
from an empty canvas, not
usually one that is already
painted on. The pot is shaped
from a lump of clay, and
the sculpture is found in
the raw stone - we must
start from the place of
the unknown, and if we are
attuned to that essence,
it will begin to emerge
out of our inner formless
and take on its outer essential
nature. Emerging from the
place of being just a simple
rock or a blank page.
Breathe
in. Then, exhale out completely,
and feel the emptiness.
That emptiness allows you
to take a deep, full breath
again. The fact that the
lungs have space, emptiness
inside of them allows you
to take in oxygen. Let yourself
Be a little bit. Feel your
essence, which is beyond
any of your doings. It is
that which is your greatest
treasure, which no one can
take away, and nothing can
change.
To
quote the Tao Te Ching:
We
join the spokes together
in a wheel,
but
it is the center hole
that
makes the wagon move.
We
shape clay into a pot,
but
it is the emptiness inside
that
holds whatever we want.
We
hammer wood for a house,
but
it is the inner space
that
makes it livable.
Benefit
may be derived from something,
but
it is in nothing that we
find usefulness.
Copyright
2002 by Constance L. Habash