October 2015

Aim for Wholeness

What is it that you really want?  Happiness?  Peace?  Stability? Enlightenment? Often, we just want to “feel better”, and for things to “get better”.

Lately, I’ve been in that kind of place – experiencing deep internal changes, looking at old patterns that don’t serve me, venturing into my own Shadow and unconscious to see what needs to be cleaned out.  It is difficult, at times painful, and unpleasant.  There are times when I just want to feel “better”.

It occurred to me, however, that there is an inherent problem in wanting to feel better, wanting life to be better, wanting to improve ourselves.  When we want to get better or become a “better person”, it implies that there is something wrong with us as we are.

I’ve done enough of that in my life – enough self-criticism, judgment, and finding all the things about “me” that don’t work well or that I’m ashamed of.  I just want to get rid of them.  Don’t we all?  Yet by fostering that kind of attitude, we do violence to ourselves.

I’ve had it with cutting myself up into pieces – pieces that are good enough, and pieces that belong in the trash.  It doesn’t serve me anymore, and it doesn’t serve you, either. 

Over the years, I discovered that the very parts of myself that I don’t like, that cause me pain, are the very places within that hold my transformation. They hold power and healing that I can’t access if I don’t welcome them in and hold them, lovingly, until I see my true essence.

Deep inside my raging, critical self is a terrified child, begging to be held and loved and accepted, warts and all.  I wanted to be loved, acknowledged, and seen when I was a child, and I spent most of my life attempting to fill those needs.  By taking the time to hold this part of me, to cry, to scream out my anger, I find the soft, tender, loving essence within me.  My heart opens, and love then flows through me.  Exactly what I was looking for, stumbled upon by accepting and embracing the aspect of myself that blocked it, yet most yearned for it.

I find that I do the same thing with my life – clinging to things I enjoy, pushing away the uncomfortable tasks.  Again, I stop and breathe, and embrace it all.  The good and the bad are only my judgments, and they keep me from living my life fully, wholly, in every moment, whatever it offers.

Rather than try to become “better”, aim for Wholeness.  Welcome it all in.  Become whole, rather than partial.

This is the path of growth, the path of spirituality, the path of personal evolution.  To bravely hold all those pieces of ourselves in arms bigger than our physical ones, and love them back into Wholeness. This is another aspect of Yoga, Oneness, Union.

On October 18th, we'll explore our Wholeness through "Life, Living, and After Life", the month’s theme for Awakening Heart Spiritual Community.  Join us in Palo Alto from 10-11:30am for community, connection, and practices for greater spiritual living.

For those of you not in my local area, you can tune in from anywhere on the globe to the Awakening Self Radio Show on Blogtalk Radio. This month I offer another episode of Meditation and Inspiration - No More Demands  Don't turn your meditation into one more thing that you demand from yourself - let it be a few minutes of freedom!  Tuesday, October 20th from 9-9:30pm Pacific time.  See details and your time zone below.

Every part of oneself, and of life, is valuable and precious.  Just as the antidote to a poisonous plant usually grows nearby it, the painful wounds carry within them the very medicine we need to become whole.  Embrace your  Wholeness – the wound and the healing.





• Announcements

• Event Calendar

• Awakening Self Radio Show

• Spiritual Quotes



Awakening Heart Spiritual Community

2nd Sunday of every month (3rd Sunday for October)

A new Spiritual Community, based in yoga philosophy and universal principles, for seekers of all ages

Including an inspirational talk and readings on the month’s theme, community discussion and sharing, and 15-20 minute guided meditation. 

Get involved! Join the Awakening Heart Facebook Page for announcements, upcoming events, and community.

When: 2nd Sunday of every month

Time: 10-11:30am

Place: Subud House, Palo Alto – 330 Melville Ave., Palo Alto, CA

Dates & Topics :

• October 18th – Life, Living, and After Life  ***NOTE - 3RD SUNDAY!***

• November 8th - Light and Shadow

• December 13th - Sacred Sound, Sacred Silence

Offered by heartfelt donation

Children over 6 years who are able to participate in discussion, sit quietly with their parent, or draw and read back in our children’s corner are welcome to attend. Email me with any questions: Connie@AwakeningSelf.com

Monthly Column in Sibyl Magazine

Sibyl Magazine: for the Soul and Spirit of Woman is an online publication servicing over 24,000 women around the world.  I've been selected to write a monthly column, "Awakening Through the Seasons", for the 2015 publication year.  Check out Sibyl Magazine!


Counseling via Skype

Yes, I can do Counseling and Psychotherapy with you via Skype (or another online video conferencing tool) from anywhere in California.  (appointments in my office in Menlo Park are currently waitlisted)

Also, I can do Spiritual Mentoring with you via Skype from anywhere in the world!

Interested?  Contact me and begin the exploration.


"Like" my fan page on Facebook!

Have a look at my fan page, Awakening Self, where I post inspiration all week long.  If you like what you see, please click the "Like" button... and share with your friends! 


Don’t miss an issue!  Make sure that my email address, Connie@AwakeningSelf.com is on your “allowed entry list” for your spam filter.


Subscribe to Awakening Self – If a friend shared this newsletter with you and you’d like to receive it, click here to subscribe


Event Calendar

Every month, you can click this link to view my Calendar to see what is coming up!


Awakening Self Radio Show Schedule

(online on BlogTalk Radio)

All shows can be listened to from the links below, during or after the broadcast... or from your phone at (845) 241-9969. 

Listen to any previous Awakening Self Radio shows on my Radio Show Page!

This Month's Show:

Meditation and Inspiration - No More Demands

Tuesday, October 20th, 9-9:30pm Pacific / 12midnight Eastern / 4am GMT / 3pm Wed. Oct. 21st Sydney

It’s common mistake when we undertake the practice of meditation to turn it into one more way we drive ourselves to exhaustion and frustration.  We expect ourselves to get still, quiet, and to shut off our continual flow of thought.  We expect inner peace and insight – in short order!   And when all that doesn’t happen, we try harder or beat ourselves up.

Please don’t turn your meditation into one more way that you put demands on yourself.  Let’s explore together how taking the time to meditate becomes a way that you let go of all your expectations, and give yourself the gift of space and timelessness. Meditation can be a refreshing break from your daily demands, a sacred and renewing time to let your true Self simply Be.

Last Month's Show (just click and listen now!):

The Power of Thought and Word with guest Denzal Santana

You know the power of action - but far greater potential lies in the more subtle energies and power of our thoughts, intentions, words, and prayer.  Shaman, healer, and musician of the spoken word, Denzal Santana, has studied with shamans from the Peruvian amazon for more than a decade, and brings back not only their sacred teachings, but a powerful clarity in his use of prayer and spoken word through drumming and music.  You'll hear some excerpts from his recent recordings with his son, Cruuz, and his deep wisdom as Rev. Connie dialogues with him about elevating our consciousness, healing our hearts, and uplifting the whole through thought and word.


Spiritual Quotes

"Once you learn the art of relaxation, everything happens spontaneously and effortlessly."

~ Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi)


"True meditation has no direction or goal. It is pure wordless surrender, pure silent prayer. " 

~ Adyashanti


"There are no ordinary moments."

~ Dan Millman



Rev. Connie L. Habash, MA, LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Yoga and Meditation Teacher

Interfaith Minister - Spiritual Mentorship

Menlo Park, CA