Aim for Wholeness
Instead of trying to become “better” – to “fix” what is “wrong” with you – the true path to healing and inner peace is to aim for wholeness.
What is it that you really want? Happiness? Peace? Stability? Enlightenment? Often, we just want to “feel better”, and for things to “get better”.
Lately, I’ve been in that kind of place – experiencing deep internal changes, looking at old patterns that don’t serve me, venturing into my own Shadow and unconscious to see what needs to be cleaned out. It is difficult, at times painful, and unpleasant. There are times when I just want to feel “better”.
Wanting to Feel Better vs. Becoming Whole
It occurred to me, however, that there is an inherent problem in wanting to feel better, wanting life to be better, wanting to improve ourselves. When we want to get better or become a “better person”, it implies that there is something wrong with us as we are.
I’ve done enough of that in my life – enough self-criticism, judgment, and finding all the things about “me” that don’t work well or that I’m ashamed of. I just want to get rid of them. Don’t we all? Yet by fostering that kind of attitude, we do violence to ourselves.
I’ve had it with cutting myself up into pieces – pieces that are good enough, and pieces that belong in the trash. It doesn’t serve me anymore, and it doesn’t serve you, either.
Embracing the Shadow for Inner Healing
Over the years, I discovered that the very parts of myself that I don’t like, that cause me pain, are the very places within that hold my transformation. They hold power and healing that I can’t access if I don’t welcome them in and hold them, lovingly, until I see my true essence.
Deep inside my raging, critical self is a terrified child, begging to be held and loved and accepted, warts and all. I wanted to be loved, acknowledged, and seen when I was a child, and I spent most of my life attempting to fill those needs.
By taking the time to hold this part of me, to cry, to scream out my anger, I find the soft, tender, loving essence within me. My heart opens, and love then flows through me. Exactly what I was looking for, stumbled upon by accepting and embracing the aspect of myself that blocked it, yet most yearned for it.
I find that I do the same thing with my life – clinging to things I enjoy, pushing away the uncomfortable tasks. Again, I stop and breathe, and embrace it all. The good and the bad are only my judgments, and they keep me from living my life fully, wholly, in every moment, whatever it offers.
Rather than try to become “better”, aim for Wholeness. Welcome it all in. Become whole, rather than partial.
This is the path of growth, the path of spirituality, the path of personal evolution. To bravely hold all those pieces of ourselves in arms bigger than our physical ones, and love them back into Wholeness. This is another aspect of Yoga, Oneness, Union.
Every part of oneself, and of life, is valuable and precious. Just as the antidote to a poisonous plant usually grows nearby it, the painful wounds carry within them the very medicine we need to become whole. Embrace your Wholeness – the wound and the healing.
Your saving grace – what brings you back to your heart and spirit – could be whatever you’re feeling in your own heart. It could be right outside your door, too. Everything in nature matters and is part of the whole of the ecosystem; even the dead stumps, the compost, and the pesky insects. Step outside, be present with the earth, and feel what it awakens in you. Let it reflect to you the experience of wholeness within you, ever present.
I just saw a post on Facebook that said, “To keep winning, I have to keep improving.” It really bothered me to read that. I felt sad, like someone was drowning and trying to keep their head above water.
