Recently, I had an inspiring, energizing, and engaging reading with Eliyahu Jian – an author, rabbi, and life & spiritual coach. It was a delightful experience, because he saw parts of myself that few others have. I laughed, cried, was a bit surprised, and uplifted.
It’s the magic of Being Seen – when someone connects with your essence and reflects it to you in a way that you feel truly honored, recognized, and appreciated.
Naturally, we want others to see us in this deep and nurturing way. But most importantly, we need to be Seen by our own selves.
Much of the time, we aren’t seeing ourselves accurately or in a helpful way. We are self-critical. We orient towards our flaws and what we lack, and we compare ourselves to others. This is an unhealthy habit of attention and is the root cause of anxiety and depression. Yes, it is a habit of attention – and habits can change. We can learn to shift how we see ourselves.
We can learn to view ourselves as “good enough”. Which of course means that we aren’t perfect, yet we see the good in ourselves. When we feel seen, by others or ourselves, we experience that sense of value and worthiness, that “good-enoughness”. That is the doorway to truly seeing all of ourselves.
Self-Improvement vs. Growth and Expansion
Be mindful of the tendency to “improve” yourself. Although it sounds altruistic, the very implication of self-improvement is that we’re not good enough as we are. It overlooks all the gifts, talents, qualities, and blessings that we already possess within.
Sure, continue on the path of growth (I certainly am!), but reframe it as a path of continuous unfolding into more of who you truly are. You are expanding into a greater capacity to shine with those gifts.
Practice Seeing Your Divine Self
It’s important to have a practice of being seen for your Divine Self within, by yourself. What are the gifts, talents, qualities, and blessings you already possess within you? Are you generous, considerate, self-motivated, conscientious, deeply feeling, or organized? Think of words that describe your positive qualities and skills, and special things about your personality. Write them down. List at least 10 that you can refer back to – and add to – so that you are sure to see all of who you are, not just the things you want to change.
Don’t expect perfection – you’re not going to be these qualities or reveal these blessings that lie within you all the time. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t there. The sun is always shining behind the clouds or on the other side of the planet. There’s just some weather blowing through that has obscured your vision. You’re not the weather, you’re the sun.
The New Habit of Seeing Yourself
Develop a habit of seeing, acknowledging, appreciating, and loving your True Self. Your True Self is unlimited by personality and the “weather”. It is the highest expression of who you came here to be; your Divine Essence.
If you don’t make the effort to pay attention to it, you won’t see yourself accurately. But if you do develop this habit of attending to your True Self, you’ll feel happier, lighter, yet more centered and grounded. You will know who you truly are. You’ll enjoy yourself and life more, and have more to offer the world, because all those gifts are inside waiting to be seen by you!
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