by Connie Habash | Aug 25, 2021 | Acceptance, Acknowledgement, Appreciation, Happiness
Recently, I had an inspiring, energizing, and engaging reading with Eliyahu Jian – an author, rabbi, and life & spiritual coach. It was a delightful experience, because he saw parts of myself that few others have. I laughed, cried, was a bit surprised, and uplifted.
It’s the magic of Being Seen – when someone connects with your essence and reflects it to you in a way that you feel truly honored, recognized, and appreciated.
Naturally, we want others to see us in this deep and nurturing way. But most importantly, we need to be Seen by our own selves.
Good Enough
Much of the time, we aren’t seeing ourselves accurately or in a helpful way. We are self-critical. We orient towards our flaws and what we lack, and we compare ourselves to others. This is an unhealthy habit of attention and is the root cause of anxiety and depression. Yes, it is a habit of attention – and habits can change. We can learn to shift how we see ourselves.
We can learn to view ourselves as “good enough”. Which of course means that we aren’t perfect, yet we see the good in ourselves. When we feel seen, by others or ourselves, we experience that sense of value and worthiness, that “good-enoughness”. That is the doorway to truly seeing all of ourselves.
Self-Improvement vs. Growth and Expansion
Be mindful of the tendency to “improve” yourself. Although it sounds altruistic, the very implication of self-improvement is that we’re not good enough as we are. It overlooks all the gifts, talents, qualities, and blessings that we already possess within.
Sure, continue on the path of growth (I certainly am!), but reframe it as a path of continuous unfolding into more of who you truly are. You are expanding into a greater capacity to shine with those gifts.
Practice Seeing Your Divine Self
It’s important to have a practice of being seen for your Divine Self within, by yourself. What are the gifts, talents, qualities, and blessings you already possess within you? Are you generous, considerate, self-motivated, conscientious, deeply feeling, or organized? Think of words that describe your positive qualities and skills, and special things about your personality. Write them down. List at least 10 that you can refer back to – and add to – so that you are sure to see all of who you are, not just the things you want to change.
Don’t expect perfection – you’re not going to be these qualities or reveal these blessings that lie within you all the time. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t there. The sun is always shining behind the clouds or on the other side of the planet. There’s just some weather blowing through that has obscured your vision. You’re not the weather, you’re the sun.
The New Habit of Seeing Yourself
Develop a habit of seeing, acknowledging, appreciating, and loving your True Self. Your True Self is unlimited by personality and the “weather”. It is the highest expression of who you came here to be; your Divine Essence.
If you don’t make the effort to pay attention to it, you won’t see yourself accurately. But if you do develop this habit of attending to your True Self, you’ll feel happier, lighter, yet more centered and grounded. You will know who you truly are. You’ll enjoy yourself and life more, and have more to offer the world, because all those gifts are inside waiting to be seen by you!
by Connie Habash | Dec 4, 2018 | Acknowledgement, Appreciation, Attention, Holidays, Kindness, Uncategorized
If you have been on the spiritual path a little while, you know what a blessing it is to do random acts of kindness, particularly during the holidays. I love that practice and find it makes a great difference in my life (and hopefully, that of others!). Right now, I feel it’s of utmost importance to not only “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” but to bear witness to the kindness you see happening between others, and that you yourself are receiving.
While the holidays call for celebration, merriment, and goodwill towards all, we’ve been seeing a lot of suffering and conflict in our world. We might feel less than optimistic about the nation and our relations with others, whether other countries or those we pass on the street. But I have been seeing beautiful reflections of kindness and love all around me, and find that the willingness and ability to see human benevolence bolsters not only my world view, but my perception of myself.
It’s easy to become caught up in what everyone else is doing wrong, or how unpleasant or rude they are. We’ve all experienced that. It can get me into a grumpy mood when someone roughly bumps into me or snaps a retort. How do we shift out of that kind of frustration and annoyance?
By turning our attention to noticing when others are kind.
Recently, I was given a task that seemed daunting at first. Kinda silly to feel daunted by this, but I had to put up posters around the town I live near for a holiday dance production my daughter is in. Seems easy, but it involves going into stores and restaurants and asking permission to tape up the flyers in their windows, or leave postcards for their customers to take.
I felt invasive, going into an establishment I’ve never been in – maybe never would consider dining at – and asking for their generosity. I feared rejection – the NO, but not just a no; a rude or mean kind of no. Like, what are you asking me for? How dare you come in here and ask for that?
Pretty funny when I think about it. But going into these places and asking for kind permission made me feel vulnerable.
What’s been interesting about the process is that people, by and large, are really kind. Almost everyone says yes. Even warmly, with encouragement and a smile. The ones that say no are respectful and even a bit apologetic. Why was I afraid? Most people are kind-hearted.
Backstage during her dance performances, while my daughter was quickly changing from one costume to another, ready hands were available to help her. Girls from other dances handed her hats, zipped up her soldier outfit, helped her pin a crown into her hair. She did the same for them. Older girls fostered the younger ones, giving them encouragement before going on stage. Mothers jumped in when anyone needed another bobby pin or had lost part of a costume. Kindness was plentiful.
At the grocery store, I saw someone in line let someone with just a couple items slip in ahead of them. At a café, I saw someone bus their own table. And in our neighborhood, I saw people collecting clothing, tents, and blankets for the homeless victims of the recent fires.
I know the world isn’t perfect, and people aren’t, either. Including myself. But there is a lot of goodness out there.
Let your attention focus this month on the kindness, generosity, warmth, and compassion that you see out there in the world. In yogic philosophy, it is said that when we see someone doing acts of selflessness and benevolence, we are to respond with Mudita – Delight, Joyfulness. By attending to those benevolent acts, they will inspire us and fill us with that delight. Then, we also find ourselves expressing kindness and love more often. It awakens within us those same qualities that we perceive in others.
By looking for and seeing kindness, we are inclined to practice more kindness. What we see is a reflection of our own self. Allow this season to reflect to you all the goodness within, and share the spirit of this holiday in kindness towards yourself and others.
Have you seen some kindness lately? Share it and how it touched you here in the comments, and let’s inspire each other!
by Connie Habash | Feb 27, 2014 | Acknowledgement, Appreciation, Beauty, Blessings, Delight, Joy, Resilience, Resourcefulness, Seasons, Spring, Wind
One of the first flowers to reveal itself in the spring, the Dandelion is a common sight in sidewalk cracks and my own front yard. I saw the first one stealthily growing next to my African daisy by the front fence.
I pledged to stop pulling up these plants, what we usually consider to be “weeds”, as a way to support the local bee population. They are one of the first flowers to nourish honeybees when they emerge from hibernation. And since the honeybee is in serious danger in North America, I figured it was the least I could do.
On further reflection, I realized that there is more to the Dandelion than meets the eye. What a powerful little plant, and how much I can learn from it.
Dandelions pop up seemingly out of nowhere. They grow in the most difficult places, where there’s little water and poor soil (as well as my semi-manicured garden). They are extremely hardy. That’s some resilience, and something I could use more of.
It occurred to me that Dandelions give completely of themselves. Their leaves are food for animals (and apparently are edible for humans, too, although I’m not sure if the garden variety is fit for our consumption), deeply appreciated when abundant foliage still isn’t readily available in early spring. The health benefits and medicinal use of various parts of the Dandelion have been revered for centuries.
They unfold a beautiful yellow flower that offers nectar and pollen to bees. Dandelions are very important providers of food for bees, and it is said that settlers from Europe actually brought Dandelions over for this purpose. The Europeans knew that bees not only provided us honey, but were essential to growing crops. And how the Dandelion has propagated as a result of that!
Not only does this common yellow-flowered plant give of itself as food and medicine for other animals, but ask any child and they also give much beauty and joy. I always found these yellow flowers delightful. Like sourgrass, their sunny and bright blooms were harbingers of springtime. You didn’t have to plant them – they’d just show up and add color to the empty lots across the street, the patch of dirt behind a store, the corner of the yard by the shed.
But the greatest delight of children is near the end of their life-cycle. Who didn’t find joy at least once as a child, almost anywhere in the world, by blowing on a puff-ball of Dandelion seed and making a wish? I remember seeking out as many of them as I could with my friends, and seeing who could blow all the seeds off with just one exhale. Do you?
Then, we’d watch as the seeds floated and drifted away, sometimes carried high by a breeze. Where would they land? Where would those seeds become new Dandelion plants next spring?
What a brilliant way of propagating itself… the tiniest little seeds attached to a natural kite, just waiting for the next gentle wind to carry itself away.
The Dandelion gives all of itself as food, medicine, beauty, and enjoyment, and then it is spent. It dies, knowing it has touched many, and its offspring will carry on its part of the ecosystem.
Do you have some Dandelions in you? Some parts of yourself that you consider as weeds, useless, a nuisance, that you just want to get rid of? And yet, those parts of you may harbor some of the most powerful, healing qualities. The sadness in you may be a well of compassion for others. In one instance, you may see yourself as resistant and slow; in another, you’re recognized as patient and discerning. You might not believe you have much to offer others, and yet you find people seek you out for wisdom, comfort, or a safe haven to just be themselves.
You have within you many gifts that make a difference to others, even if you don’t always see it that way.
How can you be of more service to the world, like the Dandelion? How can you nourish others, or bring them delight?
by Connie Habash | Jan 17, 2013 | Acknowledgement, Beauty, Blessings, Happiness
Today, January 17th, is the rebirth of my website, AwakeningSelf.com! After a lot of hard work, I have this gem to share with you. Thank you to my wonderful web designer, Mani Sheriar, for being so delightful to work with and for sharing her very special talents to create this place of beauty and inspiration. Also a special thank you to my very gifted photographer, Lisa DeNeffe, who did all my new portraits for the site. She really brings out everyone’s natural essence in her work.
I hope you enjoy all the content I’ve created here to give you a meaningful and uplifting experience as you explore Awakening Self. Share freely with others!
Recently, I had an inspiring, energizing, and engaging reading with Eliyahu Jian – an author, rabbi, and life & spiritual coach. It was a delightful experience, because he saw parts of myself that few others have. I laughed, cried, was a bit surprised, and uplifted.
If you have been on the spiritual path a little while, you know what a blessing it is to do 
One of the first flowers to reveal itself in the spring, the Dandelion is a common sight in sidewalk cracks and my own front yard. I saw the first one stealthily growing next to my African daisy by the front fence.
How can you be of more service to the world, like the Dandelion? How can you nourish others, or bring them delight?
