by Connie Habash | Oct 13, 2022 | Attention, Awareness, Mindfulness, Presence, Yoga Philosophy
This post, on Pramada (Carelessness), is the fourth of a 9-part series on the obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
vyādhistyānasanśaya pramādālasyāvirati bhrāntidarśanālabdha bhūmikatvānavasthitatvāni cittavikṣēpāstē̕ntarāyāḥ |
Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, worldliness, delusion, non-achievement of a yogic state, and instability are the distractions of the mind, and they are obstacles [in yoga].
Ah, the fourth obstacle on the spiritual path. This is a bit tricky, at least for me – for those of us who are perfectionists (most of us into spirituality!). In fact, these next 3 obstacles can be big triggers for perfectionists. But we can also reframe this hindrance in a more helpful way. This fourth obstacle is Pramada, or carelessness.
What is Carelessness?
Carelessness is defined as a “failure to give sufficient attention to avoid harm or errors: negligence”. It’s not giving things enough forethought or consideration before we do them. It can even be perceived as meaning indifference – not caring about our thoughts, words, or actions.
Everyone has been careless from time to time (and certainly not just with spiritual practices!). We want to hurry up and get it done, reach the goal, achieve the awakened state; whatever we’re striving for, it’s easy to try to take short cuts. When we’re caught up in pramada, we may curtail our time in meditation because we have “so much to do.” It falls off the priority list.
Carelessness can show up in our spiritual practice when we are spacing out or thinking about other things when we’re doing yoga postures (which might result in injury) or when chanting the rosary or a mantra. It’s easy to do things a bit rote, out of habit, and not with our full attention, even when we have good intentions about doing yoga, prayer, or meditation.
After meditation, pramada might sneak in by jumping right into a heated argument or getting on the phone to chat, which dispels our meditative state; or doing purifying practices and then indulging in greasy food, alcohol, or other unhealthy substances, wiping out the benefits. Be on the watch for ways that carelessness may show up for you and hinder your spiritual intentions.
Pramada: a State of Distraction
To make matters worse, we live in a world full of distractions, and distraction breeds carelessness. Before we realize what is happening, we can get pulled into the social media feed, feeling that we need to check our email, the news or texts compulsively, or simply looking around the house and getting agitated about everything left undone (here’s a secret – it’s never going to all be done!).
The external world can become a smorgasbord of distractions, just waiting for you to fill up your plate with them. Then you realize that your plate is too full – no room for my chanting practice today. So we let it slip off the plate, or we try to cram it in really fast without much care, to feel that we “did it”… and then run back to our distractions.
The mind is our greatest distraction on the spiritual path and in life. Since we can’t seem to go anywhere without it, it helps to have some yogic tools to work with thoughts when they arise, so they don’t unconsciously steer us off the path. Using those tools is part of doing practice with care and attention, so we don’t slip into pramada, that state of carelessness.
Carelessness is Negligent to Ourselves
At times, our spiritual negligence isn’t towards our practices, per se. It’s towards ourselves. We either don’t pay sufficient attention to what we’re thinking and how it affects us, or we aren’t attending to our own self-care and well-being (see Vyadhi, or disease, the first obstacle).
If we aren’t making sure we get enough sleep, eat healthy food (most of the time!), and have some downtime to relax and be Present, we’ll become distracted simply from our body’s discomfort and our mental and emotional agitation.
Overscheduling your calendar, even with meditation groups and spiritual conferences, isn’t necessarily taking care of yourself if you always feel stressed. And if you’re constantly using up all your energy to take care of everyone but yourself, then unfortunately, that’s pramada, or carelessness, too. There needs to be healthy balance, and having care and attention doesn’t just apply to meditation or on the yoga mat: it applies to how you are towards yourself.
Those Yogic Tools: Ways to Overcome Carelessness
Before you stress yourself out more, though, about being careless, take a deep breath. First of all, you’re not bad or less-than when pramada shows up in your practice or your life. You’re just human! It’s not about being perfect – it’s about noticing when you’re off-course and readjusting the steering wheel.
Fortunately, I have some practical, yogic, and mindful tools to get you back on track – without increasing your stress and inner agitation. They’re pretty simple, too, because I know most of us have plenty of challenges and complexity already in our lives. Becoming more careful and attentive doesn’t have to be a lot of work.
Remove the Distractions!
Well, duh! You knew this one. Turn off your computer and the tv, put your phone on Do Not Disturb. Remove all the distractions that you can. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s OK and you won’t die of FOMO. It’s the simplest thing you can do to have your full attention on your practice.
When you’re going about your day, every once in a while, check in with your thoughts. Are you fully Present in your life? Or do you dissipate your energy by doing one thing while thinking about a handful of others, or obsessing over something from the past. While it’s not so easy to just “stop thinking”, we can gently redirect our attention back to the here and now in our breath and body, and the task at hand.
This is part of your spiritual practice, for if we can’t focus on simple tasks or our regular work, it will likewise be difficult to sit for meditation. We meditate in order to be more present in our lives, and we attempt to be more present with everything we do to create more ease in meditation practice.
Pay Attention (even to the little things)
Along those lines, little things make a difference. No, I don’t mean to become obsessive about everything. It comes back again to Presence. Be here now, with rolling out your yoga mat and stepping onto it. Feel the texture and warmth of the towels as you pull them from the dryer and fold them. Pay attention to what is right here, right now, and it will help you overcome carelessness.
This can be a gentle and enjoyable intention. You won’t be perfectly present, but as often as you can, bring your attention back to this moment, as it is – especially through your senses. Life becomes more vibrant, and when you do your spiritual practices from this mindful awareness, you’ll enjoy them more, too.
Focus on Your Breath
This is the time-honored and probably most well-known meditative practice that also brings you back to the present moment. Simply turn your attention to your inhalations and exhalations. You can do this when you’re driving, when you’re drawing or painting, or picking up your kiddo’s toys (or trying to encourage them to pick them up!). Feel what it is like to do your life with conscious breathing.
When you sit for meditation, prayer, or any other spiritual practice, you can begin with breath awareness. As Thich Nhat Hahn, the renowned buddhist monk and master of mindfulness, would often teach, “I know that I am breathing in. I know that I am breathing out.” Notice the sensations at the nostrils, the flow of the breath through the trachea, the movement of the diaphragm in the belly. This will shift us out of our distracted mind-state into inner quiet, release pramada, and prepare us for spiritual practice as well as living life more fully.
A Reframe: Free from Care – Effortless!
This last suggestion for overcoming pramada – carelessness – turns around the meaning to give us a fresh perspective. Because another way to understand the meaning of careless is to be without a care! This doesn’t mean not paying attention; it means allowing for ease and effortless within your efforts on the spiritual path.
It’s another spiritual paradox: while we are aiming to pay attention and give care to what we are doing, we can soften. We don’t need to furrow our brows in order to overcome pramada, or carelessness. We allow ourselves to relax into this moment and open our heart to it with our awareness. Careless can mean untroubled: we don’t need to stress ourselves out about bringing care to our spiritual practice. Soften, open, give yourself to it, and let it flow from you with attentive care, rather than more effort and stress.
Being careless is worry-free, and worry is a big creator of mental agitation and hindrance to inner peace. Release your worry about how you’re doing; just do your practice. Let go, give in to however your meditation or yoga poses are today, and do them with gentle mindfulness. We overcome carelessness, in the negative sense, by allowing the positive aspect of careless to come to the fore!
Again, don’t get down on yourself if you find that you’ve been slipping into pramada – carelessness – in your practices. Be compassionate towards yourself, while you adjust your steering and reawaken your attentiveness. Turn off and turn away from your distractions. Include self-care as part of your spiritual path. Pay attention to the little things and be as Present as you can, especially with your breath. And release your worries – embrace less stress in trying to get it all “right” and become free of expectations in the here and now. The opposite of careless is care-ful and attentive, and gentle, mindful awareness will take you there. 🙏
You can read about the first 3 obstacles here: Disease, dullness, doubt
Ready for support on your spiritual journey? Find out how Spiritual Mentoring can take you to the next level.
by Connie Habash | Apr 13, 2022 | Aliveness, Attention, Awareness, Connection, Presence
So many of us drive, even for short distances. Is it a way of avoiding the world? What are the gifts of walking? Here is my short reverie on a walk across town.
My chiropractor’s office is a very short drive from my home – about 3-5 minutes or so. Since I wouldn’t have time for my usual routine of weights and yoga (or a morning hike), I decide, what the heck – why don’t I walk there?
I live in a suburban area that is a combination of quaint, middle-class residences, some larger, high-traffic streets, and a section of town filled with Latin-American restaurants and shops. It’s a pleasant blend of cultures, even if I’d rather live somewhere more immersed in nature. But I hesitate to walk through it. I don’t like being around cars, or on pavement and asphalt. How hypocritical, though, since I drive over it every day.
As I finish the short jaunt down my residential road and turn onto the larger street, I wonder what people would think. A middle-aged Caucasian woman, walking through a part of town in which you only see Latina mothers taking their children to school or Mexican gentlemen walking to work. Everyone else is insulated in their cars, driving by without interest in anything other than getting somewhere else.
I relish the experience. I want to look people in the eye, connect, smile, and say “buenos dias”. I want to see how it is to be on their turf and feel like the outsider. But also to see our common spirit within.
I also relish being outdoors, even if covered in a lot of pavement. No one else takes the time to stop and smell the remains of the night-blooming jasmine creeping over a fence, or to touch the soft, new, pale- green leaves of a vine – except me. They must think I’m crazy. I feel like the most sane person in Silicon Valley.
There’s a whole world that’s alive around us, and dead around us, too. No one seems to pay attention. They just drive by the candy wrappers and the crushed carton of chocolate milk that someone tossed in the gutter. No one else seems to care about the two weeds that resiliently grow between the cracks on the sidewalk. I do.
When I’m out of my car, I can hear the chickadees congregating in the maple tree above me as I amble by on the sidewalk. Life is everywhere here, in the wind tossing my disheveled hair, the surprising drizzle of rain as I cross the street. We rarely have rain in California this late in the season. I don’t care if my hair gets frizzy – I leave my hood down to feel it gently pelting my face and scalp.
When I’m walking, I see what others try to ignore. What I, admittedly, ignore most of the time. There’s pain here, there’s loss, there’s disconnection. As I walk through the underpass of the railroad tracks, a huge pile of junk reveals itself to me that had been hidden behind a wall, dividing the area from the street. A discarded mattress; an old cream-colored arm chair; a rusted bike that was missing a handle bar and a tire; and assorted shoes and trash, scattered about. From the side of the road, none of it is visible. But I’m walking, and it’s all there, revealing itself. Stolen? Thrown away? Things no longer wanted, what was once of value and now junk. Now, littering the town and in its ugliness telling other stories that the drivers don’t want to hear.
There are things happening here that we aren’t paying attention to. This is our world. We’re in it, but not really living in it. We’re so disconnected from it, we don’t know what’s really going on. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe it only matters what is happening in our car, as we talk into our headset on our way to work or the mall. Maybe it doesn’t matter to see an old, run-down building with peeling paint as we drive by, or to smell the yellow roses growing near the curb.
But this is our world. If we continue to disconnect ourselves from it, what will the consequences be? Will we become so insulated that we won’t notice when our waters all turn gray from chemicals, when the only trees that remain are irrigated down the midline of the avenue? Will we disconnect so much that we won’t greet strangers anymore, and the only walking we do is from the parking lot to the automatic sliding door, or on a treadmill?
I hope not. I love to walk. And I love this world. Want to meet for a jaunt around the neighborhood?
Want to connect with others in the outdoors – walking, hiking, yoga and meditating, practicing Presence, discovering our beautiful planet? Join me at one of my upcoming events!
by Connie Habash | Mar 3, 2022 | Attention, Obstacles, Overwhelm, Practice, Yoga Philosophy
This post, on styana (dullness), is the second of a 9-part series on the obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
vyādhistyānasanśaya pramādālasyāvirati bhrāntidarśanālabdha bhūmikatvānavasthitatvāni cittavikṣēpāstē̕ntarāyāḥ |
Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, worldliness, delusion, non-achievement of a yogic state, and instability are the distractions of the mind, and they are obstacles [in yoga].
We’ve all encountered obstacles in the path of spiritual growth – the sage Patanjali names 9 of them in the Yoga Sutras. Styana (dullness) is the second, and this one may be the biggest challenge during our time in history.
Styana has many translations, and when you hear them you’ll understand why I believe this may be the tallest hurdle for us in the 21st century. Here are some of those translations:
- Inability to focus
- Dullness
- Apathy or Languor
- Boredom
Let’s take a closer look at each of these definitions of styana and how they hinder our spiritual progress.
Inability to Focus
We live in a time when entertainment is abundant – and is our bane. It’s caused an inability to focus our attention and remain present for any length of time. We’re often searching for the next thing to captivate us. Many of us have become so accustomed to constant entertainment, information, and distraction that it’s difficult to apply ourselves to practices that may not immediately “pay off.” Constantly available devices, social media feeds, virtual reality, and more keep us in a state of styana.
We expect instant gratification, and most of us that have meditated for a while know that spiritual practice isn’t always like that. In fact, many times meditation feels like a slog. Focusing our mind can be like trying to corral cats, each thought having their own idea of where they want to go.
In addition to all that, we may become overwhelmed with all our responsibilities. Work, family, relationships, community activities, the to-do list – it can all seem like too much, and put us into a spin where it’s nearly impossible to sit down and focus on anything.
Dullness
By being lulled into this deceptive attraction of media or spun out with overwhelm, our minds become dull. It’s a fallacy to believe that filling our minds with more information and Tik Tok is keeping us aware and sharp. So it the idea that adding more to the to-do list will make us more productive. The truth is that a cluttered mind, filled with incessant images, thoughts, and information, dumbs us down.
When the mind is constantly stimulated, it’s hard to allow the space for original ideas to emerge, and even harder to quiet the mind when we intend to. Meditation requires the ability to be intently focused, training the mind to be single-pointed. It’s nearly impossible when our consciousness is already cluttered, much like an overflowing closet has no room for anything else and makes it impossible to find what you’re looking for.
Apathy and Languor
As a result of allowing ourselves to be constantly entertained and overstimulated, our overwhelm can lead to a shut down. It all seems like too much, and too difficult. We may slip into feeling apathetic about our spiritual and personal growth. Thoughts like, “Why bother? Nothing really changes… it takes too much work. I already have so much to deal with. Aren’t I already doing enough?” can slip in, and we lose our motivation.
If we give into and believe these thoughts, it results in languor, defined as a “weakness or weariness of body or mind; inertia.” It’s described as the feeling on a really hot, humid summer afternoon, when you don’t feel like moving. When we believe those thoughts, they can have the same effect on us, and we are convinced that we just can’t get ourselves off the couch.
Boredom
You can imagine how easy it is, then, to fall into a state of boredom. We become convinced that there isn’t any interesting here at all. Meditation is just the same thing over and over. Again, our mind feeds us with thoughts that it isn’t worth it.
Boredom, paradoxically, should be a wake-up call. It’s pointing to the fact that we aren’t really present. We’re not really consciously engaging with this moment, as it is, and what is possible here. The mind has lulled us into distraction, with the idea that anywhere other than here would be more interesting. It’s one of the most elusive tricks that our psyche/ego has to keep us the same and hinder our awakening.
The Way Out of Styana
Before you become despondent over these very thoughts, hit the brakes! There are a number of practices and tricks you can use to overcome that mental distraction, dullness, and languor that hinder you. Here are some ways out of styana:
When you become aware of the thoughts that want you to turn to shinier objects (the Facebook or Instagram feed, the TV, etc….) or that try to convince you that the present moment isn’t interesting enough to sit with, challenge those thoughts. Come back to here and now, and remember your goals.
Embrace Boredom as a Gateway to Depth
We may come to expect the meditation high or the sensational experience. Although they are inspiring, they can be like sugar, which is addictive and fleeting. We need to turn our attention towards what is more sustaining to our spiritual well-being and takes us to a deeper place than the pleasant shallow waters. We’ll only find out if we go deeper into our practice.
Commit to Steady, Consistent Practice
It takes steady, consistent practice over a long period of time to truly reap the benefits of any spiritual practice. But it doesn’t always have to be a whole hour of meditation. Even a few minutes of breathwork, a 15-minute yoga break, or taking 5 minutes to pray for peace can make a difference, and are better than getting pulled into the state of styana. Just keep practicing! Create a regular schedule, and adapt it to what you are realistically able to do each day.
If you’re committed to yoga 3 times per week, for example, it’s OK to vary your practice. Adjust it to the time of day, season, and your energy level. Mix in new poses and sequences. This will keep it juicy, alive, and interesting to you and support your commitment.
Styana can emerge when the body feels fatigue. You can adjust your spiritual practice to one that builds your internal energy through pranayama, inner visualization, or restorative yoga. You can also conserve and build more energy through practices such as mauna (silence) – talking and thinking (especially obsessive, anxious thoughts) use a lot of energy and can drain you.
Give yourself a bit of a digital detox for an hour, a day, a week. Like the practice of silence, refraining from your devices for a period of time can clear our mind, bring ease and peace, and renew your energy.
Styana, or mental dullness and agitation, can be a daunting obstacle on the path of spiritual growth. But it doesn’t have to stop you. Bring your awareness to those times when distraction, dullness, apathy, and boredom arise. When you’re aware of styana standing in your way, you now have some tools to see through that obstacle and overcome it.
by Connie Habash | Apr 22, 2019 | Attention, Connection, Consciousness, Energy, Intention, Support
It’s my morning ritual to sit in the front yard and take in whatever nature has to offer me. I receive messages from Spirit in profound ways from simple things. Simple things like thin, invisible threads.
The other day, something in the air caught my eye. It hovered between the tall pine in the very front of the garden and my neighbor’s apple tree over the fence to the right. I walked over to take a look, and there in the air were a small handful of what looked like dead grass cuttings. Of course – they were caught in a spider’s web!
But how in the world did the spider do this? It stretched about 9 feet between the two trees. And still, those blades of grass were suspended by a few delicate strands. Invisible threads, yet so strong and supportive.
This spider’s web reminded me that we are all held and surrounded by invisible threads. There are three kinds of these imperceptible supports in our life.
The Threads of Spirit
We may feel alone and unsupported. But just because we can’t see the support doesn’t mean it’s not there.
Our planet is supported in space, by unseen yet palpable forces. We are held on this planet by gravity – we don’t perceive it other than by feeling our feet on the ground, which we take for granted. There is a similar invisible support in our lives – the support from the Divine.
Whether you think of it as God, the Universe, Great Spirit, Buddha, Jesus, Lakshmi, or a myriad of other names, the Source out of which everything arises has supported and is supporting everything in the Universe. This doesn’t mean that life always goes perfectly. But it does mean that we can call on the support we need to meet each day from those invisible threads. We are given what we need to rise up to any challenge before us. The threads of Spirit hold us up on our life path every day, in every moment, even when we don’t think they’re there. Just like gravity holds us on the planet.
The Threads of Connection
When I went into the front yard this morning, I saw the creator of those threads. A very large garden spider hung in the middle of the web. She seemed proud of her work, and by the size of her I could see she’s been successful at catching those bugs!
This is another aspect of these invisible threads. We, too, are creating invisible threads all the time. There are two kinds of threads of Connection that we create or co-create with others. The threads of Connection are energetic strands between us and others in our lives. They are generally formed out of love, but sometimes are created out of unhealthy attachments.
Some of these threads support us and are deeply fulfilling. Family, loved ones, friends, respected associates – we have threads of connection with all these important people (and beings – you can have a thread of Connection with a pet, too!) in our lives. They, like the threads of Spirit, provide us with nurturance, support, encouragement, and a feeling of belonging. We all want to feel connected, both to one another and to something Greater than us. We can have threads that connect us to the land, the elements, to sacred places and sacred people that we are inspired by.
Other threads, however, can pull us down. It is up to each of us to assess what threads of connection are founded in love and mutual support, and what threads have we created or allowed to be hooked into ourselves that aren’t healthy. Being overly dependent on others, holding on to anger or resentment, or allowing others to drain our time and energy are dysfunctional cords that might need to be cut, healed, or modified to be more mutually beneficial.
If an invisible thread between you and other doesn’t feel right, take some time to sort out what the problem is. Do you want to keep this connection to this person? If so, how do you want to rectify the relationship? How might you change your interactions and responses? If not, is there anything you need to do or say to really let them go? Make sure that these invisible threads of Connection are relationships that you truly value in your life.
The Threads of Intent
This last invisible thread is one that you may not know about, yet it is an essential component of spiritual living. Without it, the spider wouldn’t have made her web nor would she have caught enough morsels to grow into her formidable size!
We create threads of Intent all the time, whether we are conscious of them or not. Intention fuels our goals and keeps us on course for reaching them. When we set an intention, we are casting out a thread towards our intended destination.
This has a couple of effects. First of all, it pulls us towards our goal, and draws the goal towards us as well. We cast the thread, it hooks to our vision of what we want, and then like a tractor beam, we are drawn towards it. The stronger our Intent, the more intense and powerful the beam. When we are gung-ho about running a marathon or finishing a knitting project, our intent focuses our attention and energy in that direction. We are out running miles each day, or knitting like there’s no tomorrow. We will see opportunities to fit in a run on a short trip, and make time for more knitting in the evenings after work.
The second effect of creating a thread of Intent is that it “catches” what resonates with our vision. Just like the spider who spun her web to catch flies, when we have an Intention, it’s like a web out in the Universe, waiting for something to fly by that fits the bill. If you are seeking a new mate and focus your Intent on the kind of relationship you want, the threads of Intent will let you know when someone is near that plucks your heart strings. Like the spider, when that person comes near, you’ll feel a tug on that thread of Intent and know that this is a person worth connecting to. The spider got big from catching all those bugs – and you, too, can be deeply fulfilled when you are conscious about sending out your Threads of Intent.
Weave Your Web Well
Everyday, we are creating threads and feeling the effects of our connections to Spirit, others, and our life visions. Begin to pay attention to your threads, which are energetic connections. Cultivate your threads of Spirit and allow yourself to receive that Divine support. Nurture your threads to those you love and who encourage and love you. Choose your threads of intention with mindfulness and service to a higher good.
Weave your webs of light well. The fabric of those threads is the light of Consciousness itself.
When you’re attentive and conscious about your energetic threads, you will spin a glorious tapestry of truth, harmony, beauty, and empowerment which will ripple out to uplift others, too.
What threads are you noticing in your life, and what web are you weaving?
by Connie Habash | Dec 4, 2018 | Acknowledgement, Appreciation, Attention, Holidays, Kindness, Uncategorized
If you have been on the spiritual path a little while, you know what a blessing it is to do random acts of kindness, particularly during the holidays. I love that practice and find it makes a great difference in my life (and hopefully, that of others!). Right now, I feel it’s of utmost importance to not only “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” but to bear witness to the kindness you see happening between others, and that you yourself are receiving.
While the holidays call for celebration, merriment, and goodwill towards all, we’ve been seeing a lot of suffering and conflict in our world. We might feel less than optimistic about the nation and our relations with others, whether other countries or those we pass on the street. But I have been seeing beautiful reflections of kindness and love all around me, and find that the willingness and ability to see human benevolence bolsters not only my world view, but my perception of myself.
It’s easy to become caught up in what everyone else is doing wrong, or how unpleasant or rude they are. We’ve all experienced that. It can get me into a grumpy mood when someone roughly bumps into me or snaps a retort. How do we shift out of that kind of frustration and annoyance?
By turning our attention to noticing when others are kind.
Recently, I was given a task that seemed daunting at first. Kinda silly to feel daunted by this, but I had to put up posters around the town I live near for a holiday dance production my daughter is in. Seems easy, but it involves going into stores and restaurants and asking permission to tape up the flyers in their windows, or leave postcards for their customers to take.
I felt invasive, going into an establishment I’ve never been in – maybe never would consider dining at – and asking for their generosity. I feared rejection – the NO, but not just a no; a rude or mean kind of no. Like, what are you asking me for? How dare you come in here and ask for that?
Pretty funny when I think about it. But going into these places and asking for kind permission made me feel vulnerable.
What’s been interesting about the process is that people, by and large, are really kind. Almost everyone says yes. Even warmly, with encouragement and a smile. The ones that say no are respectful and even a bit apologetic. Why was I afraid? Most people are kind-hearted.
Backstage during her dance performances, while my daughter was quickly changing from one costume to another, ready hands were available to help her. Girls from other dances handed her hats, zipped up her soldier outfit, helped her pin a crown into her hair. She did the same for them. Older girls fostered the younger ones, giving them encouragement before going on stage. Mothers jumped in when anyone needed another bobby pin or had lost part of a costume. Kindness was plentiful.
At the grocery store, I saw someone in line let someone with just a couple items slip in ahead of them. At a café, I saw someone bus their own table. And in our neighborhood, I saw people collecting clothing, tents, and blankets for the homeless victims of the recent fires.
I know the world isn’t perfect, and people aren’t, either. Including myself. But there is a lot of goodness out there.
Let your attention focus this month on the kindness, generosity, warmth, and compassion that you see out there in the world. In yogic philosophy, it is said that when we see someone doing acts of selflessness and benevolence, we are to respond with Mudita – Delight, Joyfulness. By attending to those benevolent acts, they will inspire us and fill us with that delight. Then, we also find ourselves expressing kindness and love more often. It awakens within us those same qualities that we perceive in others.
By looking for and seeing kindness, we are inclined to practice more kindness. What we see is a reflection of our own self. Allow this season to reflect to you all the goodness within, and share the spirit of this holiday in kindness towards yourself and others.
Have you seen some kindness lately? Share it and how it touched you here in the comments, and let’s inspire each other!
by Connie Habash | Jan 19, 2017 | Attention, Choices, Destiny, Intention, Manifestation
Whoa – with a title like “Your Destiny”, you’re bound to give pause. You’ve probably thought about your destiny at a few points in your life. Is destiny pre-determined? Is it a well-defined path that you just plod along? Or do you have something to do with the unfolding of events in your life? And how do the events unfolding in the United States, with a new and controversial president, affect your destiny?
Destiny is, in my opinion, a misunderstood word. We often associate it with the definition of “a pre-determined course of events.” Sometimes, destiny feels like that, as if things had to turn out a certain way, and there was nothing we could do about it.
But destiny is far more than just a fixed roller-coaster ride that you’re committed to and at the whim of as soon as you buckle up. No, destiny is a co-creation that has everything to do with your choices and your attention.
Fatalism vs. Free Will
When we think of something as “destined” to happen, some believe that there was no other choice – it was meant to be. As if our lives were some book that was already written, and when you turn to page “January of 2017” it is declared there what happens, period. This is a fatalistic point of view.
Others believe more in free will – that we determine the course of our lives and make it happen. This is also referred to as manifestation. We create exactly what it is that we want. You may remember the phrase from your high school US history class, “manifest destiny”. This was the idea that there was a divine sanction to spread across the lands of North America and settle on them. In reality, this was using a belief to manifest what people in the newly formed nation wanted: to expand their territory and acquire personal property. They created this destiny through free will by heading west, purchasing territory as well as forcibly acquiring land.
It’s Not That Simple – Yet, It Is
Destiny, in my view, isn’t so cut and dry. It’s not completely pre-determined, set in stone before we were born. Nor can we simply create whatever we want whenever we want it. If we could, we’d all be magically living our ideal lives like an avatar in an online game.
I like this definition of destiny: “the power or agency that determines the course of events”. If you’re more fatalistic, you can view that power as outside yourself. But on the spiritual path, we discover that power is within us. And when we harness that power, we can see that charting our course, to a certain degree, is relatively simple – but not necessarily easy!
You Have the Choice
I recognize that there are a lot of things that influence my life – the weather, my daughter’s moods, and currently the transition of a new president coming into office. These varied external circumstances are not in my immediate control and can definitely affect my life. But they don’t determine it. It’s up to me to decide how to respond to my daughter’s anger, although it’s certainly challenging not to react. When I’m able to respond with patience and calm, rather than blowing up, the result is usually very different. I may not be able to control her moods, but I can determine myself to shift the energy by shifting my own.
You and I have the power to choose, always, how we respond to what happens in life. A recent sermon given by one of my inspirations, Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith, summed up how I want to approach this shift in our nation right now. He asserted to be “aware of situations, but you don’t allow them to determine your destiny.”
There are situations in your life, and in mine, that we can’t avoid and we need to be aware of. But they do not have to determine how your day or your year unfolds. Most importantly, they don’t have to determine how you feel inside, what you believe, and what you create with what you have. You decide that.
Where You Put Your Attention
We can choose to obsess over situations, constantly watch TV and follow the media, and get all in a hissy fit about whatever happens. We can be in fear, or anger, or feel righteous. We can be excited and anticipate change. We can take action, or sit in meditation, or a little of both. What we choose right now will have an impact on our world and our experience.
I’ll repeat myself – your destiny is not determined solely by these events unfolding around you. You can give problems a lot of attention and suffer a lot by ruminating over them. Alternatively, you can focus on solutions and making a difference, on creating something beautiful in your life, or helping out others less fortunate. Where do you want to put your attention? That is the simplest, most important aspect of determining your destiny.
What You Believe, What You Think – Therefore What You Experience
No matter how things unfold in the external world, this time ahead of you can be powerful, transformative, and opening you to new possibilities in your life.
What do you believe is possible? Perhaps this is a time to step out of your previous limitations and see what you are capable of. Perhaps it is a time to step out of complacency and move into action, no matter how small. To realize your potential by stepping forward with visions that have called you for a long time. It starts from determining what you believe, what you value, and standing by that. If you believe it is possible and your thoughts, words, and action align with that belief, then you’ll begin to manifest that destiny.
In the words of Mahatma Gandhi:
Your beliefs become your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words
Your words become your actions
Your actions become your habits
Your habits become your values
Your values become your destiny
As we embark upon this new phase in American history with the incoming president, let this guide you and your destiny. Clarify what you really believe, aligned with a Higher Power. Practice faith in that belief. Support your beliefs with self-awareness in choosing your thoughts, words, and actions mindfully. Develop positive habits that support what you believe, value, and intend in your life. Don’t give up when the weather turns bad – see it as everything else, temporal and changing, and keep your rudder steered in your intended direction. You determine your experience of what is, and can see this unfold into a destiny – that you co-created – beautiful to behold.
by Connie Habash | Dec 6, 2016 | Attention, Awareness, Challenges, Darkness, Divine, Inspiration, Light, Possibilities, Solstice
The cycle of the seasons here in the northern hemisphere is winding down to the longest night of the year – the winter Solstice. We enter the time of increased darkness and decreased temperatures. Yet, it is in the dark that the light shines most brightly; a candle during the daytime is hardly noticeable, but at night it is a beacon of light.
There are times when our lives seem overcome with more darkness than light. Yet these times can be powerful and transformative. Often, the darker moments are the ones that call forth our greatest gifts and the most inspiration and support from the Divine.
Celebration of Light
December is a month full of stories and traditions that reveal that sacred Light. Hanukkah is a celebration of the light of a temple oil lamp lasting far beyond what was deemed possible. The birth of Jesus is celebrated on Christmas, when a brilliant star shone in the heavens above the manger where he lay, guiding three wise men to honor him. And the winter solstice, though it marks the longest night of the year, represents the rebirth of the sun and initiates its growing light, leading up to summer.
It is a time of great celebration, but not all of us may feel like celebrating. You may feel some darkness lingering around you, either in the greater collective world or in your personal life. However, take heart; for these sacred traditions remind us that, if we hold to the Divine light within, we will be sustained and lead out of the darkness.
Attending to the Light
The key to this is, naturally, to attend to that light. I remember going on a Vision Quest in the summer of 1989 and learning the lesson of staying focused on the light – the fire, to be specific.
I had traveled out into the high desert of the Inyo Mountains with a group of about 20 people, all intent on a 3 night, solo vision quest. We spent the first three days in preparation, and then each went out on our own. For those three days of solo time, we fasted, contemplated, and prayed.
On the last of the 3 nights out, the task was to stay up the entire night in vigil, tending a fire and crying for a vision. The fire taught me many things, and one of them was to stay focused on it. In the pitch-dark of the desert, it’s hard to see anything beyond a few feet around the fire’s perimeter. It’s very quiet and still, yet occasionally there are soft noises, near or far. Without being able to use my sense of sight to see beyond the fire’s light-circle, it was easy to stare out into the darkness and let my imagination loose. I could believe that I saw many things dancing outside of my stone circle – many of my fears.
But the task required both an awareness of anything I sensed outside the circle, yet a primary focus on the light – tending the fire. It truly took most of my energy and attention to keep the fire going the entire night. The maintenance of the fire wasn’t just a task assigned – it was essential to keeping me warm. It also provided comfort and inspiration.
Light in the Midst of the Unknown
Our inner light – which is our Spiritual Self and connection to the Divine – is like that fire. It requires tending – attention and energy. And for it to continue to steadily burn, we cannot allow ourselves to be distracted by what might be hiding in the shadows around us, in that darkness of the unknown.
There’s a lot of unknown right now, and a lot of strange noises snapping and crackling in the media, in conversations at work or on the street, in the papers or on Facebook. If we allow our energy and attention to be sucked into the fear and imagination of what might happen, in that darkness of the unknown, we can lose sight of the inner Light and the fire is at risk of going out.
Your Attention Can Determine Your Destiny
Recently, I watched the 30th anniversary service of Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles, live-streamed on my computer. Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith (who is a great inspiration to me) said something that really stuck with me. He reminded us to be “aware of situations, but you don’t allow them to determine your destiny.” This is like being aware of sounds that may arise around the campfire, but to remain clear about what really needs your greatest attention – your inner Light, the connection to the Divine.
Our experiences in life are affected by our thoughts and where we put our attention. Yes, we need to attend to problems we are faced with. But if we dwell on them, obsess over them, worry about them, and spend all our energy and attention on the problems, then we’ll likely experience more of the problems. However, if we turn inward to the connection with something Greater and allow That to bring the light of new ideas, possibilities, and empowerment, then we shift to solutions and creating something positive out of the situation. That brings light to darkness.
Especially When It Is Dark
This inner connection is what sustains and guides us through tough times and also fills us with inspiration and joy in the good times. When we focus our attention on That, it shows us what is possible. The light of a candle can fill a whole room, even when it’s dark – especially when it is dark.
So, light some candles. Tend a fire. Find your inner connection to Spirit, even if it is just a spark. Watch a sunrise, the moonrise, or bright stars on a cold winter’s night. There is light out there, and right inside your heart. Trust in it and put your attention on it; allow it to lead you to brighter days ahead. Your true nature is that Beacon of Light.
Copyright © 2016 by Rev. Connie L. Habash
This post, on Pramada (Carelessness), is the fourth of a 9-part series on the obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
This post, on styana (dullness), is the second of a 9-part series on the obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
It’s my morning ritual to sit in the front yard and take in whatever nature has to offer me. I receive messages from Spirit in profound ways from simple things. Simple things like thin, invisible threads.
If you have been on the spiritual path a little while, you know what a blessing it is to do 
Whoa – with a title like “Your Destiny”, you’re bound to give pause. You’ve probably thought about your destiny at a few points in your life. Is destiny pre-determined? Is it a well-defined path that you just plod along? Or do you have something to do with the unfolding of events in your life? And how do the events unfolding in the United States, with a new and controversial president, affect your destiny?
The cycle of the seasons here in the northern hemisphere is winding down to the longest night of the year – the winter Solstice. We enter the time of increased darkness and decreased temperatures. Yet, it is in the dark that the light shines most brightly; a candle during the daytime is hardly noticeable, but at night it is a beacon of light.
