by Connie Habash | Feb 28, 2026 | Joy, Mindfulness, Presence
Like many of us in the first months of the year, I’ve been reflecting on my goals for the year and for my life.
But I realize that, unlike years ago when I had big goals and aspirations for the future, I feel so much more inspired and joyful about my present.
Reflecting on Goals and the Present Moment
This led me to reflect on the old saying, “Carpe Diem”. You’re probably familiar with this famous Latin phrase, translated as “seize the day” and used to justify all manner of spontaneous, sometimes impulsive, self-indulgent acts in the name of living as if there is no tomorrow.
We’ve used Carpe Diem (now updated to YOLO in modern vernacular) to throw caution to the wind and try new things, both good and bad. We’ve used it to take off on wild adventures and step past our fears, because we don’t know if putting it off til tomorrow will ever come. Sometimes, this opens us to powerful new opportunities, and other times it gets us into trouble. But it does remind us to appreciate each moment that life offers.
I feel called to embrace this phrase in a new way. Well, maybe to change the phrase a bit. “Seize” sounds aggressive and fear-based, as if we’d better grab it or it will disappear. It reinforces a fear and scarcity mentality about life, that there’s not enough time or that we don’t have enough yet (remember my other post, about being enough?).
From Seizing to Enjoying
My new take on Carpe Diem is Enjoy The Present (ETP if you want a new acronym). Even when I’m working towards goals or planning future adventures, life is more enriching and joyful when I’m immersed in the moment. I allow myself to fully appreciate and enjoy whatever is here.
It’s such a simple thing to do, but we’re so uncomfortable with it. We’re used to searching for and working towards the next thing. This leaves us feeling lack about what we have and believing that our happiness is constantly two steps ahead. It creates dissatisfaction, self-doubt, and a bit of panic.
Rather than feel I’m not keeping up with what I “should” be doing or flinging myself into experiences with the desperate energy of seizing the day, I relax into the beauty of this moment. Even things like folding laundry or taking out the trash become much more pleasurable when I’m not wanting to be somewhere else, doing something else “more exciting.”
Then, when the big trip comes or a spontaneous adventure emerges, I’m enjoying that, too, because I’m embracing every moment.
Peace Lives in Ordinary Moments
Remember to enjoy this moment for what it is. Find something to appreciate about it, even if it is just a deep breath or a soft pillow. In those ordinary moments lie the keys to peace and happiness.
When you stop chasing what’s next, something shifts. Explore Spiritual Mentoring to deepen your practice of living in the present.
by Connie Habash | Dec 17, 2025 | Autumn, Change, Presence
Autumn always wrestles with me until I fall to the ground, like the leaves. It’s not a bad thing – it’s very powerful.
There’s no avoiding change at this time of year. We see it all around us as our feet crunch on those dry, brown leaves, once verdant and pliable. I become keenly aware of what I’m holding on to, what I’m resisting, and learning to trust the process.
Adjustments
I remember, years ago, when we adopted our 2nd cat into our family, and like any time that someone new enters your household, it was an adjustment. On a much grander scale, I recall the dramatic changes that came over my life when my daughter was born. Much less sleep, much more to do, new concerns and responsibilities, and a lot more joy and delight. With a cat, the adjustments were relatively easy in comparison.
But in the beginning, it’s easy to forget that. You’re adjusting to their personality, their habits (must get a new cat scratcher before something ends up shredded!), their internal clock, and they to yours. If I hadn’t adopted a cat before, I might have worried the first week, when the cat was hiding under the bed all day, and waking us by crying at night. Hmm, maybe more like having a baby than I remembered!
The Resistance in My Body
I felt the resistance in my body to dealing with this change – a tension in my shoulders and an over-all increased anxiety. I don’t want to clean the litter box. Why won’t he stay on our laps, rather than run at the slightest provocation? Do I want him to sleep on my bed or not? Why does he have to crawl right on top of me?
I feel the same tension and anxiousness in my body when I look at the things needing to be done for the day, and I tell myself, “I have soooo much to do today!” This kind of thinking causes me needless stress. It’s really not that different than most of the days last week or the week before. Why do I need to tell myself a story that upsets me, and creating resistance in my being?
Shaking the Dead Leaves Off
Instead, autumn shakes me and some of the dead, dry leaves loosen and fall to the ground. I realized that the adjustment to the cat is temporary. The sweetness of warm, furry, friendly companionship greatly overshadows the new routines I must embrace. And indeed, after 6 weeks, things settled in with our new Siamese nicely, and he curled up on my lap happily.
I let go of “have to do” and “too much to do” and simply embrace what is. Done with one thing? On to the next. Or not. How about a few minutes outside on my lawn, watching my favorite hummingbird drinking from the fuzzy purple flowers on the Mexican sage? I’ll get done what I can, and let go of the rest. It’s not a matter of life or death.
Embracing and Appreciating How It Is
When I stop my thought process and let myself be present, the stress falls from my shoulders. I feel capable. When I’m willing to let go of my old ways of seeing things and just see, ease floods my being. I no longer resist getting up early, running my errands, taking the bag of litter to the trash, sitting down and writing. Or if I do resist, then I just watch the resistance. Another leaf falls from the skinny branch. No longer resisting the resistance, it eventually softens and I go on to the next moment.
I let go of perfection and appreciate how it is. I like my life in this very moment. Why try to tape the leaves back on the tree? What was perfect before is not the same anymore. And I wouldn’t get to have the fun of jumping on the dry, spent leaves and making a loud crunch! I embrace what is, knowing that there is a greater process at hand in nature and my life that leads to the beauty and transformation of the next season. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Ready to release resistance and embrace change? Explore Spiritual Mentoring to welcome a new season of ease.
by Connie Habash | Sep 22, 2025 | Mindfulness, Overwhelm, Presence
You may be familiar with the feeling of overwhelm. It’s certainly rampant here in Silicon Valley, and has seeped into a lot of the North American culture.
There’s always a long to-do list, including what has to be done and what you’ve wanted to do for so long.
It’s easy for me to feel overwhelmed, and there seems to be a constant pile of stuff to deal with dumped right on top of my plate just as I feel excited that I’ll finish off what was already there. You, too?
It’s during times like these that I need to really stop and take a clear look at everything, from the present moment. I often forget to do this, swept up in the whirlwind of activity and agitation. But it’s the only thing that changes the cycle of overwhelm.
Returning to Presence
When I take the time to sit down – preferably outside, among the trees and birds and our half-wild lawn – I regain perspective. What really matters in this moment? What is actually happening here? Yellow jackets are scanning the grass for bugs to eat. A gardener blasts leaves into a pile with a blower two doors down. I am sitting on damp grass from last night’s dew, and smelling the moist earth.
It doesn’t change the fact that the laundry needs to be done, I need to pack for my trip, the house needs to be picked up, and the blog is calling to be written. But being fully present, indoors or out, reminds me that only one thing at a time can be addressed. When I think about everything at once, I fall into the spin cycle, and like the wet laundry after the washer finishes, I’m all twisted up and wrung out. Not very effective for tackling anything.
One Step, One Task
When I return back inside to attend to the necessities, the only question really on my mind is, “what, right now in this moment?” I have my list, so I won’t forget the other things. But I can only give my full, quality attention to one thing at a time, and get a satisfying result. What will that be next?
My overwhelm drops away. In every moment, I ask again – what right now? What is next? That keeps me on-task and the overwhelm at bay. Whenever the 5000 things that need attention creep back in, I write down any that I fear I will forget, and return to, “what right now?”
The next thing was to finish up this blog and posting. And so, here I am, writing to you (after taking a short break to make some nettle tea).
Create Space for Yourself
Remember to take the time to stop and be present. Now, more than ever, you need that space and time out from the maelstrom of events in the world and in your life. Then, ask; right now in this moment, what is next? Embrace one thing at a time.
And if you feel overwhelmed and want to reach out, I’m here to support You.
Ready to release overwhelm and find calm by embracing the present moment? I invite you to explore Spiritual Mentoring or my Counseling Practice.
by Connie Habash | Jun 27, 2025 | Animals, Presence, Wisdom
[This was written over a decade ago, as I had the privilege of spending time with a herd at a nearby ranch. The names of the horses have been changed to protect them and their owners’ identities.]
A hot June morning. The sun was already bright and warm just before 10am. The road was a bit dusty, and as I drove up the hill I looked left to see if the herd was gathered around the Big Tree at the top of the hill. No sign of them. As I crested the top, I saw a couple horses in the downtown area and was pleased that the herd was right in front to greet me.
Learning Presence Among Horses
Over the last few months, I have become acquainted with a herd of horses as part of a program in Equine-Assisted Learning. Working with a guide and therapist, I have the privilege of being out amongst these four-legged beings who have tremendous wisdom to offer the humans who will listen. I was more than ready to listen to them today. I was ready to learn to be more Present.
I parked my car under the shade of the trees, got out and looked over by the corral. As usual, Butterfly was the first to notice me, looking in my direction. Tom, too, looked over. I got out of the car and started to put on my boots with some anticipation and joy.
I saw a particularly small, chestnut horse I didn’t recognize. Did the herd grow? I turned around and did a quick count: 10 downtown, 2 up the hill, one around the corner, and this small horse. Yes, 14. That’s a new addition! I wondered about him.
I placed myself facing the shade tree next to the corral, as most of the other horses were facing, but back a bit, just at the edge of the shade. I meditated and waited. The new member was the first to approach! He came close, and I said hello. Some flies were bothering his eye, so I wiped off the sand in the corner and they left. He gently allowed me to tend to him.
Tom, recognizable by the large white spot on his snout, was the next to come say hello. I took notice of his much calmer, relaxed demeanor than the last time I saw him. Just a month or two new to the group, he now seems to be well-integrated into the herd. His eyes had a deep, peaceful and kind gaze. I felt close to him in that moment. As I stroked his neck, I noticed a sizable cut, probably from the barbed wire again. Fairly fresh. I made a mental note to inform his owner.
The new kid on the block came back. Tom stood at my left, the new little one at my right. We stood there together, breathing, for a while. I felt secure, flanked by two friends. Happy. They were, once again, teaching me the blessings to Presence together.
So much love I have for these beings. This herd is particularly well-bonded and stable. They seem to have a no-nonsense approach to their organization, tolerating no bullying and insisting on kindly respect. Everyone gets along as long as they follow these simple rules. There’s no expectations of anyone. They can participate or not as they please, as long as they abide by the simple guidelines. These are the rules of being in a herd.
They don’t take things personally. When one horse is not interested in connecting with another and gives them a shove with their hindquarters, the other horse gets the message and steps away, no questions asked.
We all have a right to our boundaries and to choose who we want to interact with. Humans tend to make this very personal when we’re pushed away, we feel hurt, angry, or question what we did. In the horse world, they simply accept. That’s embracing the moment as it is. How much simpler and more peaceful my life would be if I just accepted what came, returned to being Present, and moved on, no residual left to disturb me.
Where was Winter? He is usually a little off from the herd, but I didn’t see him anywhere. Then, I noticed him walk over to the water to drink, after which he turned back around the corner into the small shelter structure. He seemed to prefer to be by himself in his own private shade than to share the shade with the herd under the great tree. I ambled over to say hello, his white fur gleaming even under the eaves.
Something was a bit different about him today. Usually, he’s pretty easy going, and in his own world. Today, his eyebrows (although they don’t really seem to have any like we do) were lifted up, causing a wrinkling just above his eyes. On a human, I’d call it a worried look. Was he upset or stressed out about something? Was he hurting?
I looked him over but didn’t see anything obvious, and I’m certainly not a horse expert. But the tension in my body told me he wasn’t feeling at ease, although it appeared to have nothing to do with me. Could it be because of his white fur and pale skin that he was particularly uncomfortable on these very bright, hot days? I’m not sure. I gave him my love and back his space. I returned again to practicing being Present, here and now.
Ambling back to the shade under the great tree, I stood once again with the herd. I wanted to connect with Butterfly, a sensitive and aware white/gray Arabian. I felt there was wisdom in her that I needed. But she is very particular. I waited patiently, standing, grounding, meditating. At last, she walked up and smelled my hand in greeting, then moved off to the water trough.
Later, as she walked up the hill to graze, I joined her and started talking about my loneliness, how I longed for spiritual community and to find my herd that I feel I belong to. She let me touch her neck, gently stroking her soft fur. She listened for a while, then turned abruptly and walked away to check out a different area. Yes, life would be easier if I accepted what is and moved on – back into being Present. She certainly does.
A rider brought her horse over to the fence, and the new member of the herd trots over to say hello. The horses know each other by their familiar nuzzling. I waved hello and walked over, introducing myself. The owner was warm and friendly, and introduced the small, new member as Ruffian. He’s just so cute! She invited me to pet him and gave permission for me to interact when I’m visiting. I was glad to have a new friend in the herd. I watched as he showed his affection for his adopted sister, a Shire/Thoroughbred who was quite a bit bigger, but clearly shared his sentiments. I patted Ruffian on the back and said farewell, walking back to the herd.
Listening to the Lessons of the Land
As I had not been to visit for some time, I wanted to walk out into the hills and see what has changed from the wet early spring to this now very hot early summer. Grass turned brown, but the mustard flowers were still in bloom, bees buzzing around them. Two new varieties of thistle had grown and showed a couple violet blossoms. As I walked along the fence that divided the herd’s pasture from the farm next door, several ground squirrels scurried about, scuttling from one hole to the next, or hiding in foliage or underneath rotting logs. Wandering the land always brings me more into the moment.
I wanted to see if the rabbits were still in bunny valley, my name for a space between hills that is usually full of them. As I hiked up the mild incline, much to my surprise hundreds of tiny grasshoppers leaped to the sides out of my way with every step that I took. It was quite a sight and took me by surprise at first.
Down a small ravine and up the other side, I emerged in bunny valley. No rabbits yet, but taller thistles dominated the landscape. Crickets chirped in amongst the blackberry vines and small reeds grew in the last remaining damp place on the property. As I made note of some poison oak among the bushes, a sudden moment caught my attention, and then on the opposite hill I saw a young buck leap out of the bushes and race up the slope. What a beautiful sight!
Further up into the valley, I walked over toward where the swampy area was just a few weeks ago, now dry and hard. Just up the hill from that I saw them: three rabbits, long ears perked up, leaped across the dry grasses, stopping to listen on their hind legs, then running off into more shrubs. My wish fulfilled!
Returning with Reverence
Time to head back to the herd and make my departure. What a lovely visit, always full of gifts from nature and lessons to be absorbed. Always reminding me that in this moment is where my peace, aliveness, and joy reside. These beings were my teachers, indeed.
I bowed in Namaste to say goodbye, feeling the love in my heart for these large and gentle beings, and for all the life that floods my senses when I visit this beautiful pasture. The horses, as well as the rabbits, the fleeting buck, a hawk perched on a fence post, all remind me to be Present. Every moment matters, every moment has something to offer me.
The horses in particular are continually waking me up. I hear them saying: pay attention and set boundaries. Don’t let us run you over like a toddler on the loose. Look how we do it, with a pertinent and clear shove from the rear quarters to let someone know they are too close or friendly. Don’t take it personally. We’re just asserting our needs, and you can, too. Then, let it go. We don’t allow the past to interfere with a fresh new moment. True intimacy, the herd seems to say, comes from being with each other as we are, not as we were last week or last year.
Turning to walk away, I carry their lessons with me. Now, in this next moment as I fasten my seat belt and start the car, is where my attention needs to be and where the next gift offers itself, if I’m Present and aware.
by Connie Habash | Oct 3, 2024 | Presence, Time, timelessness
Our experience of time may be changing, even accelerating. But all the to-dos and busyness are temporary. Life slows down when we tap into the timeless Present moment.
It’s already October – can you believe it? Summer is over (except here in California, where it’s still blazing hot!) and autumn is unfolding. The year is speeding by.
We are living in an age of accelerated time. No longer do hot summer afternoons seem to last forever. Or if they do, 5 days follow that go by in a blip. Remember when you were a kid and summers were long, days were timeless and, having nothing to do, while it may have been boring, was often deeply pleasurable (or at least longingly looks so now!)? With far less on our plates, time seemed to drip slowly, filling us gently with simple but rich experiences.
Whether you attribute it to the fast pace of our culture, rapidly changing technology, overbooked schedules, or some higher vibration of consciousness, we are not experiencing time in the same way we did even 40 years ago. Everything is on fast forward and can feel overwhelming. I know it’s not just me when my daughter, even in elementary school, made comments on how fast the school year went. I never thought that as a child!
I have found myself feeling overwhelm and the rush of the minutes blowing past me. My daughter was only home from college for a short part of the summer, and I wanted to squeeze every last minute with my daughter before school started, so I put some unnecessary tasks on hold.
You may find yourself, like me, now returning to the tasks that lie ahead, and re-creating a rhythm for the “school” year. Even if you don’t have children in school (or now are an “empty nester” like me), most of us in the US still operate on a school-year mentality. Summer is for play, but fall sends you back to the serious stuff.
If you step back a bit, back from the perceived rush of time ticking and the many voices calling from your to-do list and appointment book (or rather, your app on your phone), you can stop here in the Present moment. It is the rush of thoughts that moves us rapidly into the future. The best way to slow down time is to step out of time altogether. When we’re truly in the Present, we’re in timelessness.
We can become Present when we focus on something concrete that is here and now. The sound of the airplane going overhead. The smell of cinnamon and clove. The wafting of steam into your nose from a cup of tea. Feeling the soft fur of your pet snuggled on your lap. Walking barefoot on dewy morning grass, relishing in the sensations. These simple sensory experiences bring me into the present, help me release the temporary busy-ness for a little while, and shift me into the inner peace that is timelessness.
The interesting paradox is that, in that timelessness, when our mind quiets, we realize that all the things we worry about, stress over, rebel against, and struggle with are temporary. They are conditions that come and go, like the breath and the waves on the ocean. The only thing that is constant through all of that is the Self within that watches all the changes.
Through all that is temporary, anchor yourself to the timeless Self – the unchanging essence of who you are.
Would you like to step more into timeless Presence? Want someone to support your on your journey of awakening? You’re invited to join me in Spiritual Mentoring.
by Connie Habash | Sep 26, 2023 | Articles, Autumn, Presence, Seasons, Transitions
Autumn is a time of change and slowing down. As we move into this season, let it teach you about the gifts of transitions.
We’ve just passed one of the four cardinal points of the year – pivotal points that transition from one energy to another. The Autumn Equinox is one of those great shifts, where we move from the outward energy of summer and the longer daylight, to the inward energy of fall and the lengthening nighttime. This is a potent time to explore all transitions.
Much of our life is spent in transition. We commute to work or drive the kids to school, stand in line at the post office, and wait nine months for a baby to be born. Even going up the stairs or walking out to the mailbox; life is full of the process of moving from one point to another, from one experience into the next.
Add up all those hours and you’ll recognize that it’s a lot of time! Quite often, this is time we spend unconsciously: daydreaming, reminiscing, thinking about the movie we saw the other day. Sometimes, this time is occupied by worries, fears, indignation, righteousness, or imagining the worst. This creates tension and negative energy that affects both the transitional moments and the experience when we arrive at the destination.
Slow Down and Be in the Transition
While we are riding through this seasonal transition, going from warm summer days to cool autumn evenings, it’s a good time to slow down and practice more Presence in all our transitional moments. When you get up to answer the phone, take some deep, spacious breaths and walk with full awareness. As you’re driving to work, choose something uplifting or healing to listen to in the car. While waiting at the dentist’s office, it’s an opportunity to meditate, read an inspirational book, or feel your emotions and write in a journal (I usually carry these in the car with me for these waiting periods).
You have so much precious time to explore and make powerful use of that you may not have even noticed before! Not only to “make use of”, but to feel more fully alive in those moments.
Transitions in Yoga
Yoga practice is a great way to consciously explore transitions in body, mind, and heart. While on your mat, become very aware of your thoughts and emotions through the practice.
Particularly hone in on the movements into and out of a pose, or from a lunge back to downward dog. Does your mind wander off, project into the future; is it still clinging to the past? Bring it into the present moment by focusing on the breath, attending to the physical sensations, and remaining mindful of alignment and placement of your hands, feet, etc. Feel the transfer of weight as you step forward into a Warrior Pose, or as you arch over into Parsvakonasana, Side-angle Pose.
Open yourself to new awareness arising from this enhanced attentiveness. Your yoga mat will be your practice for your life – as you are more present while you lift your arms to the sky or arch into Cobra pose, you’ll become more attuned to the simple yet profound moments off the mat. Begin to look around not only at the road you’re driving on or the carpet beneath your feet, but start to feel what is happening in nature.
Notice the subtle energetic changes that happen during these transitions. You may discover profound new parts of yourself as you align yourself with these shifts in our natural world.
Autumn Reminds Us
Every moment of our lives is precious and valuable – the fall season reminds us of that, as life around us is beginning to hibernate, release, and let go. Make each moment count by becoming conscious even in those seemingly worthless hours you’re behind the wheel or folding the laundry.
Each transition is like a trip you’re taking, and we know that it is the experience of the trip that we relish, not simply the departure and the return. Recognize the amazing journey you’re on through this life, and make the most of the transformative process happening each second along the way.
by Connie Habash | Nov 15, 2022 | Anxiety, Articles, Being, Capability, Confidence, Fear, Presence, Transformation
At a point of internal crisis in myself with my fears and worries, two friends from nature – an oak tree and a boulder – grounded me and brought me back to my Divine Self.
It was a particularly intense day at the 5-day silent retreat. A lot of fear arose within me from situations that were beyond my control. I had spiraled down into feeling guilt, shame, powerlessness, and a myriad of other painful emotions. It seemed they had all come up to be seen, felt, and released – except the release hadn’t come yet.
On our break, I took a walk down the suburban street, tears streaming down my face. I didn’t care who saw me in this state. I let them roll. This process was leading me somewhere, as were my feet, taking me to the place I found refuge in: the oaks and boulders at the nearby park.
My heart wanted to be in the limbs of one of the large live oaks that sprawled on the grounds, so I headed to the closest, most accessible one, and climbed aboard. It wasn’t very high, and I could lean back into her strength and sob. I heaved heavy sighs, trying to soften into her thick trunk.
My inner ear opened to listen to my wise old friend. I waited. Two words came to me – “I can”.
What is “I can”? Can what? What can a tree do? Well, it became clear – a tree can grow. That is what its main objective is, to continue to grow and expand. It knew how to do this from its very inception as an acorn, and that is the essential life goal for a grand oak; to continue to grow.
“I can – I can grow” I said to myself. It was an invitation to expand beyond these emotions, to grow and unfold into my Larger, Divine Self. I knew this was possible – I can grow.
Carefully, I made my way down the tree, leaping off the last couple of feet with a crunch into the compost; layers of the small, prickly, coast live oak leaves, almost a foot deep in places around the park. Months and years of growth lay there. The leaves had fallen off the branches and were decomposing slowly into the ground, while the grand old oak continued to stretch, unfold, and expand above.
Next, I turned toward the middle of the park, past the small playground with a swing and slide, to the large boulders. I wondered at how they were formed there. Was it a volcanic eruption? Or more likely pushed across the continent by vast glaciers. Who knows. Here they were, a mystery, but sitting submerged into the landscape, some as long as a bus and the tallest about 12-15 feet high or so.
That’s the boulder I headed for – the tallest one. I had figured out a pretty easy access up to its summit from around the back, scrambling over some smaller boulders and pulling myself up by hand holds and outcroppings. I felt great confidence in ascending to the top; it was joyful and empowering to overcome my doubt of my climbing abilities and fear of heights. Yes, I can, as the oak tree taught me.
Happily triumphant, I settled in on a slight dip in the granite surface, just right for my seated perch. Here, at this height, I could look across the expanse of the park, at the level of the high branches in the many other oaks, as if I were a bird meandering among the leaves and acorns.
Off to my right was one of the largest oaks, and beyond that, the lake. The lake that taught all of us in the retreat that miracles are possible. When we arrived, it was nearly dried up – just a small wet area on the far end where a lone white crane searched for a meal. The next day, a torrent of rain arrived, rarely seen in this arid part of southern California.
Sitting on the boulder, a view of the tree and lake
For an entire day and night, the rain drove through the small valley, blowing in waves it seemed, gently nourishing the parched, sandy red soil. The oaks and boulders happily received it. And so did this lake – in just 24 hrs, the entire thing filled up, and a goose as well as about a dozen ducks arrived, happily swimming about the waters and foraging. Yes, miracles can happen in a day.
So I knew that a grand transformation was possible – in the land, and in me. I sat on the boulder, heart and palms open, receptive to its message. And I heard: “I Am.”
The boulder’s gift was stillness, silence, Presence. As it sits, forever planted in this landscape, it simply is, and it knows that it is. It knows the power of Being. “I Am”, said the boulder. That was my message.
The messages of the oak and the boulder came together for me, in a sweet and simple way:
“I Can”, said the oak tree
“I Can Grow”.
“I AM” said the boulder.
And that’s all I need to know.
My body softened, and my energy settled down into the firm support of this enormous rock that I sat atop. I felt the boulder’s groundedness and stillness. My mind became silent, and I reveled in the peace and ease of simply Being.
I felt capable, strong, and expansive like the oak, while my Being was still, grounded, and steady, knowing that I already AM. There is nothing I need to do; but I can allow myself to expand and grow.
After several minutes of peace atop the boulder, I stood up, touching the high branch that reached across my perch. I thanked the tree, all the trees, and thanked the boulder. With confidence that I can, I ambled down the backside of the rock, over the smaller stones and into the crisp but giving groundcover of oak leaves.
As I walked back to the house where the retreat was held, I knew nothing had changed in the outer circumstances. But within me, I experienced a shift. I had returned to my Be-ing, my Divine Self within. The gifts from the oak tree and the boulder continued to reverberate through my mind and expand in a sense of solidness and strength through my body: I Can, and I Am.
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by Connie Habash | Oct 13, 2022 | Attention, Awareness, Mindfulness, Presence, Yoga Philosophy
This post, on Pramada (Carelessness), is the fourth of a 9-part series on the obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
vyādhistyānasanśaya pramādālasyāvirati bhrāntidarśanālabdha bhūmikatvānavasthitatvāni cittavikṣēpāstē̕ntarāyāḥ |
Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, worldliness, delusion, non-achievement of a yogic state, and instability are the distractions of the mind, and they are obstacles [in yoga].
Ah, the fourth obstacle on the spiritual path. This is a bit tricky, at least for me – for those of us who are perfectionists (most of us into spirituality!). In fact, these next 3 obstacles can be big triggers for perfectionists. But we can also reframe this hindrance in a more helpful way. This fourth obstacle is Pramada, or carelessness.
What is Carelessness?
Carelessness is defined as a “failure to give sufficient attention to avoid harm or errors: negligence”. It’s not giving things enough forethought or consideration before we do them. It can even be perceived as meaning indifference – not caring about our thoughts, words, or actions.
Everyone has been careless from time to time (and certainly not just with spiritual practices!). We want to hurry up and get it done, reach the goal, achieve the awakened state; whatever we’re striving for, it’s easy to try to take short cuts. When we’re caught up in pramada, we may curtail our time in meditation because we have “so much to do.” It falls off the priority list.
Carelessness can show up in our spiritual practice when we are spacing out or thinking about other things when we’re doing yoga postures (which might result in injury) or when chanting the rosary or a mantra. It’s easy to do things a bit rote, out of habit, and not with our full attention, even when we have good intentions about doing yoga, prayer, or meditation.
After meditation, pramada might sneak in by jumping right into a heated argument or getting on the phone to chat, which dispels our meditative state; or doing purifying practices and then indulging in greasy food, alcohol, or other unhealthy substances, wiping out the benefits. Be on the watch for ways that carelessness may show up for you and hinder your spiritual intentions.
Pramada: a State of Distraction
To make matters worse, we live in a world full of distractions, and distraction breeds carelessness. Before we realize what is happening, we can get pulled into the social media feed, feeling that we need to check our email, the news or texts compulsively, or simply looking around the house and getting agitated about everything left undone (here’s a secret – it’s never going to all be done!).
The external world can become a smorgasbord of distractions, just waiting for you to fill up your plate with them. Then you realize that your plate is too full – no room for my chanting practice today. So we let it slip off the plate, or we try to cram it in really fast without much care, to feel that we “did it”… and then run back to our distractions.
The mind is our greatest distraction on the spiritual path and in life. Since we can’t seem to go anywhere without it, it helps to have some yogic tools to work with thoughts when they arise, so they don’t unconsciously steer us off the path. Using those tools is part of doing practice with care and attention, so we don’t slip into pramada, that state of carelessness.
Carelessness is Negligent to Ourselves
At times, our spiritual negligence isn’t towards our practices, per se. It’s towards ourselves. We either don’t pay sufficient attention to what we’re thinking and how it affects us, or we aren’t attending to our own self-care and well-being (see Vyadhi, or disease, the first obstacle).
If we aren’t making sure we get enough sleep, eat healthy food (most of the time!), and have some downtime to relax and be Present, we’ll become distracted simply from our body’s discomfort and our mental and emotional agitation.
Overscheduling your calendar, even with meditation groups and spiritual conferences, isn’t necessarily taking care of yourself if you always feel stressed. And if you’re constantly using up all your energy to take care of everyone but yourself, then unfortunately, that’s pramada, or carelessness, too. There needs to be healthy balance, and having care and attention doesn’t just apply to meditation or on the yoga mat: it applies to how you are towards yourself.
Those Yogic Tools: Ways to Overcome Carelessness
Before you stress yourself out more, though, about being careless, take a deep breath. First of all, you’re not bad or less-than when pramada shows up in your practice or your life. You’re just human! It’s not about being perfect – it’s about noticing when you’re off-course and readjusting the steering wheel.
Fortunately, I have some practical, yogic, and mindful tools to get you back on track – without increasing your stress and inner agitation. They’re pretty simple, too, because I know most of us have plenty of challenges and complexity already in our lives. Becoming more careful and attentive doesn’t have to be a lot of work.
Remove the Distractions!
Well, duh! You knew this one. Turn off your computer and the tv, put your phone on Do Not Disturb. Remove all the distractions that you can. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s OK and you won’t die of FOMO. It’s the simplest thing you can do to have your full attention on your practice.
When you’re going about your day, every once in a while, check in with your thoughts. Are you fully Present in your life? Or do you dissipate your energy by doing one thing while thinking about a handful of others, or obsessing over something from the past. While it’s not so easy to just “stop thinking”, we can gently redirect our attention back to the here and now in our breath and body, and the task at hand.
This is part of your spiritual practice, for if we can’t focus on simple tasks or our regular work, it will likewise be difficult to sit for meditation. We meditate in order to be more present in our lives, and we attempt to be more present with everything we do to create more ease in meditation practice.
Pay Attention (even to the little things)
Along those lines, little things make a difference. No, I don’t mean to become obsessive about everything. It comes back again to Presence. Be here now, with rolling out your yoga mat and stepping onto it. Feel the texture and warmth of the towels as you pull them from the dryer and fold them. Pay attention to what is right here, right now, and it will help you overcome carelessness.
This can be a gentle and enjoyable intention. You won’t be perfectly present, but as often as you can, bring your attention back to this moment, as it is – especially through your senses. Life becomes more vibrant, and when you do your spiritual practices from this mindful awareness, you’ll enjoy them more, too.
Focus on Your Breath
This is the time-honored and probably most well-known meditative practice that also brings you back to the present moment. Simply turn your attention to your inhalations and exhalations. You can do this when you’re driving, when you’re drawing or painting, or picking up your kiddo’s toys (or trying to encourage them to pick them up!). Feel what it is like to do your life with conscious breathing.
When you sit for meditation, prayer, or any other spiritual practice, you can begin with breath awareness. As Thich Nhat Hahn, the renowned buddhist monk and master of mindfulness, would often teach, “I know that I am breathing in. I know that I am breathing out.” Notice the sensations at the nostrils, the flow of the breath through the trachea, the movement of the diaphragm in the belly. This will shift us out of our distracted mind-state into inner quiet, release pramada, and prepare us for spiritual practice as well as living life more fully.
A Reframe: Free from Care – Effortless!
This last suggestion for overcoming pramada – carelessness – turns around the meaning to give us a fresh perspective. Because another way to understand the meaning of careless is to be without a care! This doesn’t mean not paying attention; it means allowing for ease and effortless within your efforts on the spiritual path.
It’s another spiritual paradox: while we are aiming to pay attention and give care to what we are doing, we can soften. We don’t need to furrow our brows in order to overcome pramada, or carelessness. We allow ourselves to relax into this moment and open our heart to it with our awareness. Careless can mean untroubled: we don’t need to stress ourselves out about bringing care to our spiritual practice. Soften, open, give yourself to it, and let it flow from you with attentive care, rather than more effort and stress.
Being careless is worry-free, and worry is a big creator of mental agitation and hindrance to inner peace. Release your worry about how you’re doing; just do your practice. Let go, give in to however your meditation or yoga poses are today, and do them with gentle mindfulness. We overcome carelessness, in the negative sense, by allowing the positive aspect of careless to come to the fore!
Again, don’t get down on yourself if you find that you’ve been slipping into pramada – carelessness – in your practices. Be compassionate towards yourself, while you adjust your steering and reawaken your attentiveness. Turn off and turn away from your distractions. Include self-care as part of your spiritual path. Pay attention to the little things and be as Present as you can, especially with your breath. And release your worries – embrace less stress in trying to get it all “right” and become free of expectations in the here and now. The opposite of careless is care-ful and attentive, and gentle, mindful awareness will take you there. 🙏
You can read about the first 3 obstacles here: Disease, dullness, doubt
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by Connie Habash | Aug 8, 2022 | Articles, Flow, Presence
Many of us have heard of “flow” states – where effortlessness and ease move through us and we enter, as many athletes call it, “the zone”.
Living in the Flow is allowing more of the Divine to move through you and as you, as Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith says. It is as much about receiving as it is about doing and giving, just as the tides of the ocean come in and out.
Living in this Divine Flow is powerful, deeply moving, and joyful, even if imperfect. You can align with this Divine Flow through several simple principles. Simple isn’t always easy, but it is clear and doable.
First, Become Present
Whenever you want to connect to greater possibilities and discover what Flow is for you, the first step is always to become Present. This means to let go of attachment to any of your thoughts, allowing the mind to become more quiet. It also calls for an open heart, allowing energies to flow through you. Then, be aware of what is here in the present moment.
You can stop and practice Presence right now. Choose something nearby you to be Present with; something from nature, like a flower or tree, is an excellent choice, but it could also be any physical object, or even the movement in and out of your own breath. Focus your full awareness and attention on your object of choice, without straining or trying too hard.
Let your “thinking mind” take the back seat, releasing any thoughts that you notice and letting the mind slowly quiet down. Then, open your heart to whatever is here and now.
The Open Heart – Front and Back
When we think of opening our hearts, we often think of the heart center, in the middle of the chest, opening forward. But in order to be in Flow, just like anything that flows (water is the common example), there needs to be an inlet and an outlet – otherwise, water becomes stagnant and doesn’t move.
Flow, by definition, is in gentle movement, unhindered. Allow not only the front of your heart but also the back of your heart to open up. Or, if you prefer, the Flow can be from one side to the other. Let your experience flow into you, and release out. Enjoy the movement and how the Flow touches you, from whatever you experience. It may be as simple as the in and out action of your breath, flowing in and out.
The Importance of the Open System
This Flow that is open front and back is an open system. That means that there is an interaction with the environment or with your own thoughts, emotions, and sensations, which allows experience to enter and exit.
We may believe that it is better not to allow that to happen. For example, if something upsets us, we may prefer to shut it out. Healthy boundaries are an example of this, where we choose not to allow something into our energetic field. Boundaries are important in our interactions with others, but not very useful when attempting to tap into Flow.
On the other hand, you may also desire to hold onto things that you like – the experience of love, for example. When we feel that vibrant and expansive state, we don’t want to let it go. But the truth is, we all know that even love, and ecstatic spiritual states, ebb and flow all the time. They aren’t meant to remain static.
The Principle of Non-Clinging
This brings up the yogic principle of non-clinging, known as aparigraha in Sanskrit. Aparigraha translates not only as non-clinging, but also non-grasping, non-possessiveness, and non-greed.
The image, for me, that embodies aparigraha is of a fist opening. We release whatever we are holding onto in that tight grasp; and by opening the hand, we can actually receive. The more we hoard or cling, the less energy can flow into our lives. It blocks Divine Flow. Anytime that we believe we need to hold onto something, we’re buying into the concept of scarcity. When we are in Flow, as we let things go, more is always flowing into us.
Love, For Example
Take the example of love. If we try to grasp it, holding tightly to the experience, we will eventually be unable to experience it as we did, and this will lead to disappointment. Love, just like the weather and the tides, is always changing. At times ecstatic, at other times simply the feeling of ease in knowing someone is there, love has many flavors, and by clinging to one experience of love, we severely limit our capacity to both receive it as well as give it.
In practice, this means letting go and releasing thoughts, emotions, and experiences, and feeling gratitude for all that we have. When we open the heart, we allow that love, in whatever flavor it present, to flow into us, and allowing it to flow out, it has two benefits. First, it can be given to others in thoughts, words, and actions. And secondly, by letting the love flow through and out in an open system, we make space to continue to receive more, which deepens our gratitude. This is living in the Flow.
Another clear example is breathing itself. If we don’t exhale fully, it is not possible to receive a full inhalation. One necessitates the other. Our breath can be a great teacher of aparigraha, non-clinging, and living in the Flow!
Remembering the Outflow
The outflow, as we noted in our exhalation, is essential for living in the Flow. Consider this when trying to avoid a “negative” emotion or situation.
Even when we are deeply in Divine Flow, life can bring us challenges. We may fall ill, experience hurtful behaviors from others, or have old wounds triggered. Trying to push them away simply creates resistance in us, as well as reinforces a subtle belief that these situations are scary and can overpower us.
But one of the most powerful gifts of Flow is learning how to embrace what comes and witness it. By allowing our feelings to flow through us without getting attached to the outcome (another application of aparigraha!), we can discover that our Divine Self is much bigger than any emotion or circumstance, which always shifts and changes. We can be Present with it, let it flow through, and let it go out the back of the heart. The heart, and our Self, always remain.
Carried by the Flow
Living in the Flow aligns us with the Divine within us, like riding gently down a stream in a boat. You’ve probably imagined this metaphor when you think of living in the Flow. This image helps us to let the Divine guide, support, and carry us through life. This brings more ease and clarity than trying to figure everything out, working really hard at stuff, and putting a ton of effort into “manifesting”!
Besides which the infinite nature of the Divine can think of even better possibilities for our lives that we can come up with! Yes, it’s fine to have goals and intentions. But let them be more focused on qualities you want to embody and how you want to feel within yourself, and less about specific physical outcomes… then Divine Flow can happen in almost any circumstance.
After all, you’re probably looking for true happiness and inner strength, for example, rather than the expectation that a certain job or place to live will provide that for you. Let the Flow reveal to you something even better!
Less Effort
Living in the Flow, by allowing the Divine to “do the heavy lifting” (in the words of Lola Jones), results in less effort for you. Don’t mistake this as totally effortless – there may still be some actions that need to be taken or focusing of energy on a project. But by releasing the resistances and unnecessary habits of mind, trusting in the process, and having your open heart to receive fully and let go will result in less effort and more effectiveness in whatever you set out to do.
Keep coming back to the image of floating in that boat down the stream. You really can be carried more through life by the Divine. And if you want to stop somewhere to explore the shore or get out and swim, you can always choose that, too.
Giving Flows from Receiving
The last principle of living in the Flow once again touches on the open heart. For this metaphor, you may imagine the flow of the heart from back to front: open in the back allows you to receive from the Divine (which always has your back!), and open to the front allows you to give to the world through your thoughts, words, and actions.
I repeat those three words – thoughts, words, and actions – because they are the three ways that we express. Thoughts are related to our energy. We can send energy out through intentional or unintentional thought, and clearly we also do the same with words and actions.
When we are living in the Flow, our thoughts, words, and actions are intentional. We open to the Flow, receive the blessings from the Divine, and then offer out what wishes to benefit others. We fill ourselves first with that Divine energy, and then allow the overflow to be given to others around us and in service to the world.
Remember to open to receive and fill your cup first! A fountain always fills up a bowl or cup first, and then the excess trickles over in abundance. If you fill yourself in this way like a fountain from Divine Flow, you will not burn yourself out or become depleted.
You Can Live in the Flow!
Living in the Flow is a practice, and that means it isn’t perfect – so let yourself play, experiment, and learn! You can begin right now.
Allow yourself to become as Present as you can. Open the heart, front and back. When thoughts, emotions, or sensations arise, let them come and don’t cling – whether “good” or “bad”, let them go! Imagine the energy of Spirit flowing to you and through you. Be filled, receiving, and then when there is overflow, allow it to express in a way that feels aligned with your Divine Self. It doesn’t require a lot of effort; simply learning to let go of so much effort and expectations. You can be carried downstream with more ease and joy as you begin to live in the Divine Flow.
by Connie Habash | Jul 9, 2022 | Mindfulness, Presence
Everything in life is enriched by Presence. We may not always make the time for being fully Present; we might prefer to multitask, believing it will be more efficient. But when we sit down, fully Present, with one thing at a time, we enjoy life more and time, as a result, actually expands.
I had just cooked a sumptuous meal: fresh summer squashes sauteed in olive oil with onions, tomatoes, and garbanzo beans, with a yummy pesto on top. It smelled so good! I was so excited to sit down and eat.
But I also had a book that I was really enjoying, and wanted to read it, too. So I decided I would read while I was eating – two things to immerse in at once! What could be better?
Before I knew it, however, I only had a few spoonfuls of deliciousness left – what happened to my generous heaping of veggies and pasta? And I had only read about a page of my book, because I couldn’t quite focus on it.
Had I saved any time? No; it actually took me longer to read the passage, because my attention wasn’t fully focused on it. And, sadly, I wasn’t able to savor the fabulous meal I had lovingly and intentionally prepared for myself.
I realized my error. Had I been fully Present with my meal, I would have relished each bite, fully enjoying the experience. Instead, I wasn’t even conscious of most of it. And afterwards, I could immerse in my book and receive a lot more from it.
I stopped for those last few spoonfuls. With each bite, feeling gratitude and appreciation. What a joyful experience.
And now, I’ll turn towards my book, as soon as I’m done writing this blog post.
I find, again and again, that when I am Present – truly here in this moment with my awareness and attention, and my mind quiet and open to whatever I’m doing – that I have plenty of time for everything. Not only does time become more spacious, but I enjoy what I’m doing more, whether it’s cleaning a bathtub, talking with a friend, driving to the store, or relishing my meal.
Find out for yourself – join me in Presence today. Whatever you’re doing after you read this, be there with it in Presence. Let yourself fully experience it (and whomever you are with), and when you move on to the next thing, be right there with that. Being Present enriches everything in life.
Presence is the first step on the journey to overcoming stress and anxiety as well as spiritual awakening. Find out more with my book, Awakening from Anxiety!
Our experience of time may be changing, even accelerating. But all the to-dos and busyness are temporary. Life slows down when we tap into the timeless Present moment.
Autumn is a time of change and slowing down. As we move into this season, let it teach you about the gifts of transitions.
At a point of internal crisis in myself with my fears and worries, two friends from nature – an oak tree and a boulder – grounded me and brought me back to my Divine Self.
This post, on Pramada (Carelessness), is the fourth of a 9-part series on the obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
Many of us have heard of “flow” states – where effortlessness and ease move through us and we enter, as many athletes call it, “the zone”. 
Everything in life is enriched by 
