by Connie Habash | Feb 28, 2026 | Joy, Mindfulness, Presence
Like many of us in the first months of the year, I’ve been reflecting on my goals for the year and for my life.
But I realize that, unlike years ago when I had big goals and aspirations for the future, I feel so much more inspired and joyful about my present.
Reflecting on Goals and the Present Moment
This led me to reflect on the old saying, “Carpe Diem”. You’re probably familiar with this famous Latin phrase, translated as “seize the day” and used to justify all manner of spontaneous, sometimes impulsive, self-indulgent acts in the name of living as if there is no tomorrow.
We’ve used Carpe Diem (now updated to YOLO in modern vernacular) to throw caution to the wind and try new things, both good and bad. We’ve used it to take off on wild adventures and step past our fears, because we don’t know if putting it off til tomorrow will ever come. Sometimes, this opens us to powerful new opportunities, and other times it gets us into trouble. But it does remind us to appreciate each moment that life offers.
I feel called to embrace this phrase in a new way. Well, maybe to change the phrase a bit. “Seize” sounds aggressive and fear-based, as if we’d better grab it or it will disappear. It reinforces a fear and scarcity mentality about life, that there’s not enough time or that we don’t have enough yet (remember my other post, about being enough?).
From Seizing to Enjoying
My new take on Carpe Diem is Enjoy The Present (ETP if you want a new acronym). Even when I’m working towards goals or planning future adventures, life is more enriching and joyful when I’m immersed in the moment. I allow myself to fully appreciate and enjoy whatever is here.
It’s such a simple thing to do, but we’re so uncomfortable with it. We’re used to searching for and working towards the next thing. This leaves us feeling lack about what we have and believing that our happiness is constantly two steps ahead. It creates dissatisfaction, self-doubt, and a bit of panic.
Rather than feel I’m not keeping up with what I “should” be doing or flinging myself into experiences with the desperate energy of seizing the day, I relax into the beauty of this moment. Even things like folding laundry or taking out the trash become much more pleasurable when I’m not wanting to be somewhere else, doing something else “more exciting.”
Then, when the big trip comes or a spontaneous adventure emerges, I’m enjoying that, too, because I’m embracing every moment.
Peace Lives in Ordinary Moments
Remember to enjoy this moment for what it is. Find something to appreciate about it, even if it is just a deep breath or a soft pillow. In those ordinary moments lie the keys to peace and happiness.
When you stop chasing what’s next, something shifts. Explore Spiritual Mentoring to deepen your practice of living in the present.
by Connie Habash | Sep 22, 2025 | Mindfulness, Overwhelm, Presence
You may be familiar with the feeling of overwhelm. It’s certainly rampant here in Silicon Valley, and has seeped into a lot of the North American culture.
There’s always a long to-do list, including what has to be done and what you’ve wanted to do for so long.
It’s easy for me to feel overwhelmed, and there seems to be a constant pile of stuff to deal with dumped right on top of my plate just as I feel excited that I’ll finish off what was already there. You, too?
It’s during times like these that I need to really stop and take a clear look at everything, from the present moment. I often forget to do this, swept up in the whirlwind of activity and agitation. But it’s the only thing that changes the cycle of overwhelm.
Returning to Presence
When I take the time to sit down – preferably outside, among the trees and birds and our half-wild lawn – I regain perspective. What really matters in this moment? What is actually happening here? Yellow jackets are scanning the grass for bugs to eat. A gardener blasts leaves into a pile with a blower two doors down. I am sitting on damp grass from last night’s dew, and smelling the moist earth.
It doesn’t change the fact that the laundry needs to be done, I need to pack for my trip, the house needs to be picked up, and the blog is calling to be written. But being fully present, indoors or out, reminds me that only one thing at a time can be addressed. When I think about everything at once, I fall into the spin cycle, and like the wet laundry after the washer finishes, I’m all twisted up and wrung out. Not very effective for tackling anything.
One Step, One Task
When I return back inside to attend to the necessities, the only question really on my mind is, “what, right now in this moment?” I have my list, so I won’t forget the other things. But I can only give my full, quality attention to one thing at a time, and get a satisfying result. What will that be next?
My overwhelm drops away. In every moment, I ask again – what right now? What is next? That keeps me on-task and the overwhelm at bay. Whenever the 5000 things that need attention creep back in, I write down any that I fear I will forget, and return to, “what right now?”
The next thing was to finish up this blog and posting. And so, here I am, writing to you (after taking a short break to make some nettle tea).
Create Space for Yourself
Remember to take the time to stop and be present. Now, more than ever, you need that space and time out from the maelstrom of events in the world and in your life. Then, ask; right now in this moment, what is next? Embrace one thing at a time.
And if you feel overwhelmed and want to reach out, I’m here to support You.
Ready to release overwhelm and find calm by embracing the present moment? I invite you to explore Spiritual Mentoring or my Counseling Practice.
by Connie Habash | Feb 20, 2025 | Clarity, Healing, Meditation, Mindfulness, Seasons, Winter
Whether cloudy or clear, wintertime can deepen meditation and heal the heart.
Clouds cover the skies like sheep’s wool, muffling the sounds of the birds and the passing cars. The overcast sends a shadow over my heart, evoking a little sadness and melancholy.
Yet it also dampens the noise in my mind, much like it softens the shuffle of people walking by on street. It’s a quiet that is expectant, like the silent and heavy rain clouds hanging overhead, not yet ready to drop their water pellets on the ground.
Quiet Cloudiness
This is so different than the quiet on a clear, starry night. That kind of quiet is spacious, vast, crystal-like in its intensity. That silence is almost deafening in its great expanse. It makes me throw my arms up and reach out to the universe, even though I don’t move.
This quiet cloudiness, however, is gentle, subtle, and soft, like a blanket thrown over my shoulders, wanting to wrap me up in its compassion.
Compassionate Clouds
It takes me inward, this muffled silence of the winter clouds, and makes me want to cry, just like the clouds want to let go of their rain. These clouds bring out what is hanging heavy in my heart, even if I don’t really know what it is. I can feel it, nevertheless, and long for the rivulets to flow down my cheeks, to unburden the old grief that I’ve allowed to hang out somewhere inside myself.
This is a healing, inward kind of quiet. A compassionate Cloudiness.
Clarity Revealed
The next morning, I wake and descend the dark stairs to my altar. Sitting on my cushion, out the eastern window I see the light blue already. Clear skies. The sun doesn’t take long to dust the horizon with a subtle pink, and the winter sun rises from his nap behind days of the wool cloud-blanket.
Clarity streams into my head and heart. It is a light day, and hope arises over the hills. My heart lifts with the sun.
Renewal
Even in the midst of winter, the signs of renewal are everywhere, including the sun itself. No matter the dark night or day, life comes again. After our hearts empty out in the melancholy of the darkness, they rise up from the soil and send out new shoots into life.
My heart now has more room. The tears I shed watered the flowers that will arise from those bulbs in the ground.
Let Winter Heal You and Deepen You
Make the room in your heart for meditation in the winter. Meditation isn’t always sitting and watching your breath, or chanting a mantra. Sometimes, it is a time to sit with what lies in the heart space and to feel it: without judgment, attachment, or disdain.
Winter offers the opportunity to have quiet time with yourself. If you allow whatever lies within to release from its confines, new growth can burst through, like the first shoot breaking through the casing of the seed. Let the tears, the joy, the worry, the past –whatever — flow through and out, making space for the greater potential that wants to germinate and expand within you.
Winter does its healing on all of us. Trust the process. Let the clouds hang where they are, and know that the sun does come out. When the sky clears, you’ll see it like you haven’t seen it for months.
by Connie Habash | Oct 13, 2022 | Attention, Awareness, Mindfulness, Presence, Yoga Philosophy
This post, on Pramada (Carelessness), is the fourth of a 9-part series on the obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
vyādhistyānasanśaya pramādālasyāvirati bhrāntidarśanālabdha bhūmikatvānavasthitatvāni cittavikṣēpāstē̕ntarāyāḥ |
Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, worldliness, delusion, non-achievement of a yogic state, and instability are the distractions of the mind, and they are obstacles [in yoga].
Ah, the fourth obstacle on the spiritual path. This is a bit tricky, at least for me – for those of us who are perfectionists (most of us into spirituality!). In fact, these next 3 obstacles can be big triggers for perfectionists. But we can also reframe this hindrance in a more helpful way. This fourth obstacle is Pramada, or carelessness.
What is Carelessness?
Carelessness is defined as a “failure to give sufficient attention to avoid harm or errors: negligence”. It’s not giving things enough forethought or consideration before we do them. It can even be perceived as meaning indifference – not caring about our thoughts, words, or actions.
Everyone has been careless from time to time (and certainly not just with spiritual practices!). We want to hurry up and get it done, reach the goal, achieve the awakened state; whatever we’re striving for, it’s easy to try to take short cuts. When we’re caught up in pramada, we may curtail our time in meditation because we have “so much to do.” It falls off the priority list.
Carelessness can show up in our spiritual practice when we are spacing out or thinking about other things when we’re doing yoga postures (which might result in injury) or when chanting the rosary or a mantra. It’s easy to do things a bit rote, out of habit, and not with our full attention, even when we have good intentions about doing yoga, prayer, or meditation.
After meditation, pramada might sneak in by jumping right into a heated argument or getting on the phone to chat, which dispels our meditative state; or doing purifying practices and then indulging in greasy food, alcohol, or other unhealthy substances, wiping out the benefits. Be on the watch for ways that carelessness may show up for you and hinder your spiritual intentions.
Pramada: a State of Distraction
To make matters worse, we live in a world full of distractions, and distraction breeds carelessness. Before we realize what is happening, we can get pulled into the social media feed, feeling that we need to check our email, the news or texts compulsively, or simply looking around the house and getting agitated about everything left undone (here’s a secret – it’s never going to all be done!).
The external world can become a smorgasbord of distractions, just waiting for you to fill up your plate with them. Then you realize that your plate is too full – no room for my chanting practice today. So we let it slip off the plate, or we try to cram it in really fast without much care, to feel that we “did it”… and then run back to our distractions.
The mind is our greatest distraction on the spiritual path and in life. Since we can’t seem to go anywhere without it, it helps to have some yogic tools to work with thoughts when they arise, so they don’t unconsciously steer us off the path. Using those tools is part of doing practice with care and attention, so we don’t slip into pramada, that state of carelessness.
Carelessness is Negligent to Ourselves
At times, our spiritual negligence isn’t towards our practices, per se. It’s towards ourselves. We either don’t pay sufficient attention to what we’re thinking and how it affects us, or we aren’t attending to our own self-care and well-being (see Vyadhi, or disease, the first obstacle).
If we aren’t making sure we get enough sleep, eat healthy food (most of the time!), and have some downtime to relax and be Present, we’ll become distracted simply from our body’s discomfort and our mental and emotional agitation.
Overscheduling your calendar, even with meditation groups and spiritual conferences, isn’t necessarily taking care of yourself if you always feel stressed. And if you’re constantly using up all your energy to take care of everyone but yourself, then unfortunately, that’s pramada, or carelessness, too. There needs to be healthy balance, and having care and attention doesn’t just apply to meditation or on the yoga mat: it applies to how you are towards yourself.
Those Yogic Tools: Ways to Overcome Carelessness
Before you stress yourself out more, though, about being careless, take a deep breath. First of all, you’re not bad or less-than when pramada shows up in your practice or your life. You’re just human! It’s not about being perfect – it’s about noticing when you’re off-course and readjusting the steering wheel.
Fortunately, I have some practical, yogic, and mindful tools to get you back on track – without increasing your stress and inner agitation. They’re pretty simple, too, because I know most of us have plenty of challenges and complexity already in our lives. Becoming more careful and attentive doesn’t have to be a lot of work.
Remove the Distractions!
Well, duh! You knew this one. Turn off your computer and the tv, put your phone on Do Not Disturb. Remove all the distractions that you can. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s OK and you won’t die of FOMO. It’s the simplest thing you can do to have your full attention on your practice.
When you’re going about your day, every once in a while, check in with your thoughts. Are you fully Present in your life? Or do you dissipate your energy by doing one thing while thinking about a handful of others, or obsessing over something from the past. While it’s not so easy to just “stop thinking”, we can gently redirect our attention back to the here and now in our breath and body, and the task at hand.
This is part of your spiritual practice, for if we can’t focus on simple tasks or our regular work, it will likewise be difficult to sit for meditation. We meditate in order to be more present in our lives, and we attempt to be more present with everything we do to create more ease in meditation practice.
Pay Attention (even to the little things)
Along those lines, little things make a difference. No, I don’t mean to become obsessive about everything. It comes back again to Presence. Be here now, with rolling out your yoga mat and stepping onto it. Feel the texture and warmth of the towels as you pull them from the dryer and fold them. Pay attention to what is right here, right now, and it will help you overcome carelessness.
This can be a gentle and enjoyable intention. You won’t be perfectly present, but as often as you can, bring your attention back to this moment, as it is – especially through your senses. Life becomes more vibrant, and when you do your spiritual practices from this mindful awareness, you’ll enjoy them more, too.
Focus on Your Breath
This is the time-honored and probably most well-known meditative practice that also brings you back to the present moment. Simply turn your attention to your inhalations and exhalations. You can do this when you’re driving, when you’re drawing or painting, or picking up your kiddo’s toys (or trying to encourage them to pick them up!). Feel what it is like to do your life with conscious breathing.
When you sit for meditation, prayer, or any other spiritual practice, you can begin with breath awareness. As Thich Nhat Hahn, the renowned buddhist monk and master of mindfulness, would often teach, “I know that I am breathing in. I know that I am breathing out.” Notice the sensations at the nostrils, the flow of the breath through the trachea, the movement of the diaphragm in the belly. This will shift us out of our distracted mind-state into inner quiet, release pramada, and prepare us for spiritual practice as well as living life more fully.
A Reframe: Free from Care – Effortless!
This last suggestion for overcoming pramada – carelessness – turns around the meaning to give us a fresh perspective. Because another way to understand the meaning of careless is to be without a care! This doesn’t mean not paying attention; it means allowing for ease and effortless within your efforts on the spiritual path.
It’s another spiritual paradox: while we are aiming to pay attention and give care to what we are doing, we can soften. We don’t need to furrow our brows in order to overcome pramada, or carelessness. We allow ourselves to relax into this moment and open our heart to it with our awareness. Careless can mean untroubled: we don’t need to stress ourselves out about bringing care to our spiritual practice. Soften, open, give yourself to it, and let it flow from you with attentive care, rather than more effort and stress.
Being careless is worry-free, and worry is a big creator of mental agitation and hindrance to inner peace. Release your worry about how you’re doing; just do your practice. Let go, give in to however your meditation or yoga poses are today, and do them with gentle mindfulness. We overcome carelessness, in the negative sense, by allowing the positive aspect of careless to come to the fore!
Again, don’t get down on yourself if you find that you’ve been slipping into pramada – carelessness – in your practices. Be compassionate towards yourself, while you adjust your steering and reawaken your attentiveness. Turn off and turn away from your distractions. Include self-care as part of your spiritual path. Pay attention to the little things and be as Present as you can, especially with your breath. And release your worries – embrace less stress in trying to get it all “right” and become free of expectations in the here and now. The opposite of careless is care-ful and attentive, and gentle, mindful awareness will take you there. 🙏
You can read about the first 3 obstacles here: Disease, dullness, doubt
Ready for support on your spiritual journey? Find out how Spiritual Mentoring can take you to the next level.
by Connie Habash | Jul 9, 2022 | Mindfulness, Presence
Everything in life is enriched by Presence. We may not always make the time for being fully Present; we might prefer to multitask, believing it will be more efficient. But when we sit down, fully Present, with one thing at a time, we enjoy life more and time, as a result, actually expands.
I had just cooked a sumptuous meal: fresh summer squashes sauteed in olive oil with onions, tomatoes, and garbanzo beans, with a yummy pesto on top. It smelled so good! I was so excited to sit down and eat.
But I also had a book that I was really enjoying, and wanted to read it, too. So I decided I would read while I was eating – two things to immerse in at once! What could be better?
Before I knew it, however, I only had a few spoonfuls of deliciousness left – what happened to my generous heaping of veggies and pasta? And I had only read about a page of my book, because I couldn’t quite focus on it.
Had I saved any time? No; it actually took me longer to read the passage, because my attention wasn’t fully focused on it. And, sadly, I wasn’t able to savor the fabulous meal I had lovingly and intentionally prepared for myself.
I realized my error. Had I been fully Present with my meal, I would have relished each bite, fully enjoying the experience. Instead, I wasn’t even conscious of most of it. And afterwards, I could immerse in my book and receive a lot more from it.
I stopped for those last few spoonfuls. With each bite, feeling gratitude and appreciation. What a joyful experience.
And now, I’ll turn towards my book, as soon as I’m done writing this blog post.
I find, again and again, that when I am Present – truly here in this moment with my awareness and attention, and my mind quiet and open to whatever I’m doing – that I have plenty of time for everything. Not only does time become more spacious, but I enjoy what I’m doing more, whether it’s cleaning a bathtub, talking with a friend, driving to the store, or relishing my meal.
Find out for yourself – join me in Presence today. Whatever you’re doing after you read this, be there with it in Presence. Let yourself fully experience it (and whomever you are with), and when you move on to the next thing, be right there with that. Being Present enriches everything in life.
Presence is the first step on the journey to overcoming stress and anxiety as well as spiritual awakening. Find out more with my book, Awakening from Anxiety!
by Connie Habash | Mar 11, 2022 | anger, Articles, Awareness, Mindfulness, Presence
Anger gets a bad rap in the therapy – and spirituality – community. It’s labeled a “negative” emotion, and for good reason. When anger runs us and we react to it, it can blow like a volcano and make quite a mess of our relationships.
But the truth is that anger isn’t inherently a bad emotion. In fact, anger, like all emotions, has a purpose and is a necessary part of being a human. Anger matters, and you can learn to work with it in a helpful way.
Why is Anger Important?
Anger arises in response to a problem in our environment – or at least, something we perceive as a problem. It is a sign that you’re not feeling safe and that an action needs to be taken. Anger alerts us when our boundaries have been crossed, a violation has occurred, or when we feel treated unjustly.
We need anger to alert us to situations that should be addressed in order to feel safe or respected. Anger is an energizing, mobilizing emotion. It gives us the energy, focus, and determination to take necessary action.
The Problem with Anger
The problem with anger is that we usually 1) don’t recognize anger until we’re blowing our top and 2) the action our “reactive” self believes it should take is blasting someone. Most therapists would agree that the blasting option isn’t effective (or pretty).
In order to work with anger in a helpful, rather than harmful, way, we need to be aware that it’s arising, catch it, and work with it consciously. That means to respond, rather than react, to anger.
The First Essential: Presence
Learning to be more present in the moment, in your body (a technique of Mindfulness), will help you pick up on the anger as it arises, and more likely before it reaches the boiling point. Presence is bringing your awareness and attention into the present moment, as it is, with receptivity and non-judgmentalness. Simply notice and be with what you observe about your anger.
Become aware of the sensations you have when you start to get angry. Are you clenching your jaw? Tensing your shoulders, or making fists? Do you start to get a knot in your stomach, or furrow your eyebrows together? Write down what you notice, and pay attention as often as you can to when those sensations arise.
You may not be able to write down all those observations in the moment as you get irritated or irate, but try to increase your consciousness of it by practicing presence as often as possible. The more you become aware of the signs of the anger arising, the more empowered you’ll be to respond rather than react to it.
The Inquiry
If you have time, once you notice you’re angry, sit down and inquire about it. What triggered the anger? What am I fearing? What am I needing? What would I like to say right now?
It’s OK if you want to shout and say expletives, as long as you’re not saying them to anyone else. Write everything out. Then ask yourself, what would be a helpful response to this anger? An action you can take that would help you feel more safe or comfortable and also be safe – even if a bit uncomfortable – for others. Consider a response that could improve the situation, rather than a reaction which will likely worsen the circumstances. How can you respectfully express your needs and stand in your truth?
A Quick Pause to Help You Through It
If you don’t have time to reflect, a quick and easy way to work with anger is 1) acknowledge it and 2) take 5 deep breaths. Feel the breath in your body, going in and out, slowly. A count to 5 for each inhalation and exhalation assists you in slowing down. That might give you enough time to calm and center yourself and sort out how to respond. When we’re in the heat of the moment, the best action is to take a quick pause with your breath to buy you time for evaluating the situation.
Then, you can revisit the anger later and use the journaling and inquiry techniques to become clear on anger’s message for you. It’s really your inner protector, trying to stand up for you and remind you to value yourself. Anger matters – and so do you.
You can learn to work with any emotion – like anger – in a healthy way through the 7 keys in my book, Awakening from Anxiety. Check it out here!
by Connie Habash | Jun 5, 2021 | awakening, Awareness, Mindfulness, Presence
All of us struggle with thoughts. We may not always be aware of it, but our thoughts are going on in our mind constantly throughout the day, telling stories about life and who we are. The way we think about ourselves, our circumstances, and life in general – whether conscious or unconscious – affects how we feel and actually affects our experiences. Perhaps more importantly, our thoughts prevent us from being who we really are.
Thankfully, there are ways to get a grip on those thoughts and then let them go. One excellent way is Presence.
In a previous post, I introduced the practice of Presence. Essentially, it is being here, in this moment, with your awareness and attention. The heart is open to what you feel and sense within yourself and the world around you. The mind is quiet and witnessing, rather than narrating what we experience.
Narrating
What do I mean by narrating? Narrating is the tendency for us all to tell stories about what we are experiencing. Those stories have two main effects.
First, they tend to perpetuate negative emotions. For example, if I were saying to myself, “This is awful. I’ll never get ahead. It’s just one setback after another. Just when I get a bit on top of things, the other shoe drops. It’s not fair. There must be something wrong with me.” That is a narrative, or a story. That kind of story is likely to create depression, and if I continue with that story, my mood probably will spiral downward. This tendency to narrate, or what spiritual teachers call “telling stories,” is one of the main causes of anxiety, worry, anger, and depression. If we want to shift ourselves out of those unpleasant emotions, we’ll need to shift the story – or better yet, let it go altogether.
Missing the Moment
The other effect of narrating is that it takes us out of the present moment. When we’re caught up in a story, we’re likely to miss what’s right in front of us. Instead of seeing what life brings with clarity, we’re painting our stories onto it.
Here’s an example from the chapter on Presence in my book, Awakening from Anxiety – quite a literal one, actually – of how my narration, and lack of being present, hindered me from seeing things clearly.
Perhaps this scenario is a bit familiar to you. A couple weeks ago, I was walking around the house looking for my scissors. I really needed them for something, and I knew that they were around in the kitchen. I had a particular place I always put them—up on the window sill, above the sink. I kept returning to that spot over and over, looking for them there, as if maybe the next time, they’d just magically appear where they are “supposed” to be.
After several minutes of frustration, I sat down and let go. Maybe I should just go into my daughter’s drawers and find one of hers. But I stopped for a bit and just sat. And then I saw them—on the counter top next to me, right in plain sight.
In that moment I found the scissors, I finally became present. I let go of my stories about where the scissors usually are, that they should be there, that I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t find them, getting angry at whoever moved them (which certainly would not have been me!), how this is wasting my time—and finally just sat down, being present. When I came into the moment, the table, the kitchen countertop, my feet on the hardwood floor, my shallow breath, I began to look around and see what was actually there. I became present, and that’s when I actually perceived what was in front of me the whole time.
Too often, we’re not seeing the reality of what is in our life. We’re looking around at everything or talking with someone, but we aren’t really with them; we’re repeating the stories we have about them and seeing the stories instead of the person. We’re seeing the narrative we’ve created about our life, instead of the possibilities that lie before us in each moment, as it is.
Simple, But Not So Easy!
It’s a terribly simple idea to stop telling the story. Yet we have been so programmed to create these stories over and over again that it’s one of the most challenging things to do.
The good news is that you’re at the first and most powerful step. You’re aware now. In this moment, you know that the mind (not just yours, but everyone’s!) has a tendency to narrate everything and therefore influence how you perceive the world and your life.
Awareness is the most powerful asset you have. I say this over and over to my students and clients – once you are aware, then you’re empowered, because you finally have a choice. When we’re unconscious, completely ignorant to the fact that we’re creating narratives that cause us to feel hopeless or frightened, we can’t do anything about it. If it’s out of our awareness, how can we change it?
You Can Stop Believing the Stories
But now you know. Or maybe you’ve just been reminded of something you knew, but had forgotten about. You have the power to see your stories and to stop believing them. See them as the fiction that they are. Recognize that they are fabrications of your mind, probably from experiences you have had in the past. You don’t need to believe them anymore.
Those stories are like a TV channel your set has been stuck on for ages. It’s time to change the channel. You can do this! You can even turn the TV set off completely, and live life more in the present moment, as who you really are.
Don’t worry if you can’t stop the stories right now. Just practice being aware, seeing them for the fiction that they are. Remind yourself that it’s just a story, and you don’t have to buy into it. The more you develop the ability to be aware and challenge the story, the closer you are to letting it go and revealing the infinite possibilities life has for you, and the infinite essence of who you really are.
by Connie Habash | May 30, 2019 | Mindfulness, Spirituality
The NBA finals are here, and they’re providing some fuel for my spiritual awakening – from the Golden State Warriors! Yes, I’m a fan and that’s a photo of me and my family at a game with the famous Kevin Durant – well, you know, the cardboard version. *wink*
[excerpted from my recent article on Elephant Journal]Sure, I live in the SF Bay Area, so it’s easy to love our home-town champions (and even when they weren’t champs). But ever since Steve Kerr took over and the Splash Brothers have wowed us with 3-pt performances that have revolutionized the game, I’ve found more to love about this iconic team than their championship reputation. Even if you hate the Warriors, or couldn’t give a fig about basketball, there’s a lot to benefit our own personal and spiritual evolution from how this team works and plays.
The Warriors, to me, are more than a basketball team. They show us how an organization can lead, compete, and do business with higher principles. Steve Kerr, the team’s head coach, built the team around 4 core principles that shine through everything they do, and are the keys to their success: Joy, Mindfulness, Compassion, and Competition. These 4 principles reveal several spiritual qualities in how they work together and support each other.
Read the rest on Elephant Journal!
by Connie Habash | Nov 19, 2017 | Acceptance, Challenges, Choices, Divine, Gratitude, Let Go, Mindfulness, Presence, Release, Seasons, Self-Care
Thanksgiving: a unique American holiday that is universal, unlimited by religion, race, or any category. It’s a special time to come together with family and friends to feel gratitude on this day of the celebration of abundance (oh yeah, and feasting!).
But for some of us, this isn’t an entirely pleasant holiday. We may be faced with “going home” to tension, crazy family dynamics, feeling ignored or attacked, possibly being the black sheep of the family. Perhaps you are hosting a large gathering, and stressed about pleasing everyone’s palates – or having everyone in your house! There may be a recent loss in the family that makes holidays, especially the most family-oriented one of the year, somewhat painful. Or we may be apart from our family, or feel that we don’t have one, and are faced with spending this holiday alone.
I have found myself in most of these scenarios at some point in my life. It’s difficult, and you’re not alone if you feel this way. But I have found, over the years, some ways to make Thanksgiving easier, more meaningful, and more fulfilling, no matter if you have a wonderful, warm family to spend it with or you find yourself feeling stressed and left out of the loop.
- Let go of expectations – Expectations increase the risk of disappointment. If you’re going home, set the intention to flow with whatever arises. You have what you need within you to respond appropriately. Having everyone over? Relax and accept that you’ve done your best: you don’t have any control beyond that. If you’ll be on your own, allow yourself to appreciate whatever you have.
- Take time for yourself – I tend to feel overwhelmed when surrounded by a lot of people, even (and sometimes especially!) my own relatives. I always plan for some alone time away from the pack, where I can rest, process, and re-center myself. Even if that is in the bathroom!
- Be present – When you’re with your family or friends, really be there in the moment. Notice when past situations, conflicts, or resentments arise in your mind; acknowledge them, and do your best to return to simply being there with what is right now. Listen, smell, taste, touch, and see. Feel your breath, chew slowly, notice what is happening within you and around you.
- Make other plans – If you’re alone for Thanksgiving, see if there are neighbors or friends in a similar boat you can share a meal with. Or create your own ideal day by yourself. You could take a hike, sit by the ocean, go to a movie, do a craft, etc.: whatever brings you joy and fulfillment. And if you are with family and you feel you need a break, make plans to go out for a while with whomever you feel most comfortable or meet up with some old friends in the area (and take some alone time, as mentioned above).
- Create a gratitude collage – It helps to find what you’re thankful for in your life, and focus on it. One way to do that is to create a collage, either with images (the traditional way) or words. Cut out pictures from magazines to represent what you feel grateful for in your life and in the world, and paste them on a board. Or use colorful markers to write the words of what and who you are grateful for. Get playful and creative!
- See the Divine in you and in everyone – Practice looking into other people’s eyes and envisioning their spirit, the Divine within them. It’s there if you are willing to see it. While you are at it, look in the mirror into your own eyes, and see it in yourself. This is the single most powerful practice I have found to connect myself to others, even people that I don’t particularly care for. It helps me overlook their (and my own) personality flaws and see a glimpse of our Oneness.
Remember that Thanksgiving is a once-a-year holiday; no matter how uncomfortable the circumstance of that day is, you’ll survive it. But to truly thrive in your life, use it as a jumping-off point to focus on gratitude every day. With that consistent practice, you can fill yourself with the abundance that life offers in every moment, overflowing.
Copyright © 2017 by Rev. Connie L. Habash
by Connie Habash | Mar 27, 2014 | Awareness, Beauty, Being, Connection, Delight, Grounded, Mindfulness, Nature, Serendipity, Uncategorized
I love to sit in my backyard – just taking in whatever I see, hear, and feel. This practice is called the “sit-spot” – a technique used by naturalists to immerse themselves in the experience of a chosen location in nature, to get to know the flora and fauna in a much more intimate way.
My eyes captured the movement of a bird, hopping on the ground. It was clearly an insect eater – small, with a long, pointed beak. I wanted it to come closer, but it slipped through the lattice work of the fence to my neighbor’s yard. I decided that if I wanted to know this bird better, why not be like a bird?
I sat on the grass and looked down to see what a bird could eat there. Much to my surprise, several creatures gradually emerged. Two tiny black beetles with a shiny, copper iridescence on their backs; a number of gnats hovering around; some other miniscule winged insect; a tiny white winged insect; and, of course, the familiar rolly-pollies.
While fingering through the blades to discover more insects, I spied some weeds growing in my lawn, and decided to start pulling them up. Slowly I worked, my fingers digging down into grass and dead oak leaves, gently grasping and tugging. I knew I wasn’t always getting the root, but I didn’t care. I wanted to finish this trail that led me about a foot and a half away, carefully removing each renegade I found.
After finishing this area, I ambled over to the flower bed I had worked on a few days ago. A similar ground cover to baby’s tears had invaded this area, where my campanula was growing. They have very similar leaves – the baby’s tears were slightly thinner, and the spiked edges were a bit brownish. I was able to distinguish them from the Campanula also by the fact that they interconnected like a web: as I pulled up one area, it had shoots that spread over and connected to another.
As I uprooted the invasive plant, more creatures were revealed; a creamy-brown, multi-footed creature, and an earthworm, who was quite displeased, wiggling about in frustration as I had disturbed its resting place.
It took some time, but I cleared another small area of the bed, and felt pleased at the little achievement. I can see why people love to garden. It is simple, quiet, and grounding. I feel rooted and alive.
The textures, smells, sounds, the humble creatures that visit our backyard, and the new foliage unfolding every day awaken my senses and deepen my connection to this little patch of nature. When I’m willing to be like a bird, a whole new world opens up to me.
What do you experience when you allow yourself to be like a bird?
This post, on Pramada (Carelessness), is the fourth of a 9-part series on the obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
Everything in life is enriched by 
Anger gets a bad rap in the therapy – 
All of us struggle with thoughts. We may not always be aware of it, but our thoughts are going on in our mind constantly throughout the day, telling stories about life and who we are. The way we think about ourselves, our circumstances, and life in general – whether conscious or unconscious – affects how we feel and actually affects our experiences. Perhaps more importantly, our thoughts prevent us from being who we really are.
The NBA finals are here, and they’re providing some fuel for my spiritual awakening – from the Golden State Warriors! Yes, I’m a fan and that’s a photo of me and my family at a game with the famous Kevin Durant – well, you know, the cardboard version. *wink*
Thanksgiving: a unique American holiday that is universal, unlimited by religion, race, or any category. It’s a special time to come together with family and friends to feel gratitude on this day of the celebration of abundance (oh yeah, and feasting!).
I love to sit in my backyard – just taking in whatever I see, hear, and feel. This practice is called the “sit-spot” – a technique used by naturalists to immerse themselves in the experience of a chosen location in nature, to get to know the flora and fauna in a much more intimate way.
