by Connie Habash | Apr 30, 2025 | Articles, Being, Essence, Peace
We’re so used to being busy, filling our lives with “doings” and filling our minds with thoughts and distraction. None of this is who we are – our Essence is found in our Emptiness.
I have so much to do! There’s not enough time! What do I have to get done today? I need to make a TO DO list. These are familiar phrases to most of us. Our lives focus around doing. And not just doing – doing more, doing faster, doing better. It’s never enough.
These attitudes have contributed to the creation of a society that’s on the fast track – with little hope of getting off. Fast food, fast internet connections, fast results (yeah, lose 20 lbs in a week!), fast, fast, fast.
The Result of Constant Doing – Stress
What does this frantic pace of doing, doing, doing result in? Stress. Our modern culture experiences stress in ways that it has never experienced in history. What’s strange is that we live in a time of more conveniences and more safety in the world than ever before. Aren’t washing machines, computers, cell phones, supposed to save us time and effort?
Yet it seems that, rather than having more time, we use them to squeeze more “doings” into our day. We don’t have to worry about saber-toothed tigers chasing us down. Yet our bodies are in a constant state of heightened stress (and our current world events contribute to this), which is showing up in continual stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system: adrenaline pumping, hyper vigilance, higher blood pressure, higher heart rates.
Our bodies are not given the time to relax and allow the sympathetic nervous system to calm down. If we do not let go and allow the parasympathetic nervous system (which creates relaxation in the body) to function, this contributes to further symptoms: undigested food, difficulty sleeping, anxiety, tense muscles. There’s a high cost to the drive to do more, better, and faster, and we’re just beginning to realize it.
Doing vs. Being
Here many of us are, our minds racing around at 100 mph; it’s hard to fall asleep, our bodies are restless, and it seems that whatever we do just isn’t enough. The challenge is that we overvalue doing, and undervalue being.
Relaxation isn’t encouraged, or even supported, in our culture. We seek peace of mind, but we mistakenly believe that we’ll get it when we’ve “done” enough. After years of this “doing”, it may be a little shocking to realize that it’s not the doing that will bring that peace.
When we can allow ourselves to be for a while – meditate, do a restorative pose, lie on the grass and gaze up at the sky – we begin to access a sense of timelessness, a sense of peace within ourselves that we’ll never reach if we always base our self-worth and sense of fulfillment on doing.
Escaping from Emptiness
So what’s the obsession with doing all about? One possibility is that doing is often an escape from a feeling of emptiness inside. And emptiness can be more than a little uncomfortable for most of us.
We panic when our gas tanks, our bank accounts, our calendars, our stomachs are empty! It feels vulnerable, scary, and it can trigger fear for our survival. It makes sense that we’d avoid experiencing emptiness within ourselves. Empty is undefined, dark, unknown, and very silent. It requires trust and courage. And it is a part of all of us, whether we choose to avoid it or to embrace it.
A Natural Part of Ourselves
Being allows us to embrace that emptiness, not as something that needs to be filled, but as a natural part of ourselves – the vast openness of space, the empty bowl that can be filled with anything. We all have that inner emptiness of unlimited potential. Part of our suffering is the belief that we shouldn’t have emptiness inside – something must be wrong if I feel this emptiness. But it’s not true.
That emptiness is the essence of being. If our lives were always full, when would there be time to smell the flowers? If our stomachs were always full, would we be able to enjoy the tastes of our favorite foods? If our mailbox is always full, do we ever have the time to enjoy reading a heartfelt letter? It’s the emptiness that makes a cave magical – if it were full of stuff, there’d be no cave. It’s the emptiness of a well that allows it to have space to contain the water. The silence and peace of a desert comes from its emptiness.
The Key to Our Essential Nature
Our emptiness within is precious, and it’s the key to our essential nature. Our essence is not based on any of our “doings” in life. In the restorative teacher training I did with Judith Lasater many years ago, she asserted that we all want to be loved for WHO we are: yet we settle for being loved for what we can do or achieve. Who we are is beyond all of the doings. It’s a quality that others can feel in our presence, our touch, our silence, and our words – when we are empty of the doings and simply being with our loved one.
You may be able to think of someone in your life that doesn’t run around and do a lot, yet they’re a pleasure to be around. You can relax and be yourself in their presence. This quality of being comes from appreciating the emptiness, the silence, and our essential nature that is beyond achievements and activities. When we can appreciate our emptiness within, we can find that peaceful, quiet stillness that we all long for.
Being in Emptiness – the Source of Creativity and Who You Are
The emptiness, our inner essence, is also the source of our creativity. Only when we give ourselves that inner space, letting go of doing for a while, can new ideas and expressions spring forth. The painting emerges from an empty canvas, not usually one that is already painted on. The pot is shaped from a lump of clay, and the sculpture is found in the raw stone: we must start from the place of the unknown, and if we are attuned to that essence, it will begin to emerge out of our inner formlessness and take on its outer essential nature. Emerging from the place of being just a simple rock or a blank page.
Breathe in. Then, exhale out completely, and feel the emptiness. That emptiness allows you to take a deep, full breath again. The fact that the lungs have space, an emptiness inside of them, allows you to take in oxygen. Let yourself Be a little bit. Feel your essence, which is beyond any of your doings. It is that which is your greatest treasure, which no one can take away, and nothing can change.
To quote the Tao Te Ching:
We join the spokes together in a wheel,
but it is the center hole
that makes the wagon move.
We shape clay into a pot,
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want.
We hammer wood for a house,
but it is the inner space
that makes it livable.
Benefit may be derived from something,
but it is in nothing that we find usefulness.
Feeling called to release the doing and rest in your Being? You’re invited to explore the peace and presence of your true Essence through Spiritual Mentoring.
by Connie Habash | Jan 30, 2025 | awakening, Being, True Self
Your BEing is ever present – but do you know your true Self?
There are a lot of big questions in life, aren’t there? One of them for me has always been “Who Am I?”, inspired by the teachings of Ramana Maharshi.
We think we know ourselves… but what we know is really the tip of the iceberg. Who we Are is a deep and beautiful mystery.
Awakening to Your True Self
We could come up with a lot of possible answers to “Who Am I”. But really, it’s not meant to be answered – it is intended to take us into a more profound experience of Being our True Self (as opposed to self with a little s – which we attach to personality, ego, and convenient labels like “mom, soccer player, accountant,” etc.). It’s meant to awaken our Divine nature.
Hence, why I call my website Awakening Self. It’s all about awakening ourselves to that true Self, which is not thought, emotion, sensation, or “doing” but pure BEing. All else arises out of that center within.
When we’re conscious of BEing that, we are more authentic, know our truth, and find more meaning and fulfillment in life. Everything that I offer is meant to support you in BEing your Self.
Today – perhaps all this week – I invite you to sit with the question “Who Am I?” gently and receptively, inviting it to awaken you to the experience of your Self. Let the answers come and go, until only the quiet space of BEing remains.
Are you ready to deepen your journey of awakening? Join the AWE Community for support, inspiration, and guidance as you explore your true Self.
by Connie Habash | Nov 15, 2022 | Anxiety, Articles, Being, Capability, Confidence, Fear, Presence, Transformation
At a point of internal crisis in myself with my fears and worries, two friends from nature – an oak tree and a boulder – grounded me and brought me back to my Divine Self.
It was a particularly intense day at the 5-day silent retreat. A lot of fear arose within me from situations that were beyond my control. I had spiraled down into feeling guilt, shame, powerlessness, and a myriad of other painful emotions. It seemed they had all come up to be seen, felt, and released – except the release hadn’t come yet.
On our break, I took a walk down the suburban street, tears streaming down my face. I didn’t care who saw me in this state. I let them roll. This process was leading me somewhere, as were my feet, taking me to the place I found refuge in: the oaks and boulders at the nearby park.
My heart wanted to be in the limbs of one of the large live oaks that sprawled on the grounds, so I headed to the closest, most accessible one, and climbed aboard. It wasn’t very high, and I could lean back into her strength and sob. I heaved heavy sighs, trying to soften into her thick trunk.
My inner ear opened to listen to my wise old friend. I waited. Two words came to me – “I can”.
What is “I can”? Can what? What can a tree do? Well, it became clear – a tree can grow. That is what its main objective is, to continue to grow and expand. It knew how to do this from its very inception as an acorn, and that is the essential life goal for a grand oak; to continue to grow.
“I can – I can grow” I said to myself. It was an invitation to expand beyond these emotions, to grow and unfold into my Larger, Divine Self. I knew this was possible – I can grow.
Carefully, I made my way down the tree, leaping off the last couple of feet with a crunch into the compost; layers of the small, prickly, coast live oak leaves, almost a foot deep in places around the park. Months and years of growth lay there. The leaves had fallen off the branches and were decomposing slowly into the ground, while the grand old oak continued to stretch, unfold, and expand above.
Next, I turned toward the middle of the park, past the small playground with a swing and slide, to the large boulders. I wondered at how they were formed there. Was it a volcanic eruption? Or more likely pushed across the continent by vast glaciers. Who knows. Here they were, a mystery, but sitting submerged into the landscape, some as long as a bus and the tallest about 12-15 feet high or so.
That’s the boulder I headed for – the tallest one. I had figured out a pretty easy access up to its summit from around the back, scrambling over some smaller boulders and pulling myself up by hand holds and outcroppings. I felt great confidence in ascending to the top; it was joyful and empowering to overcome my doubt of my climbing abilities and fear of heights. Yes, I can, as the oak tree taught me.
Happily triumphant, I settled in on a slight dip in the granite surface, just right for my seated perch. Here, at this height, I could look across the expanse of the park, at the level of the high branches in the many other oaks, as if I were a bird meandering among the leaves and acorns.
Off to my right was one of the largest oaks, and beyond that, the lake. The lake that taught all of us in the retreat that miracles are possible. When we arrived, it was nearly dried up – just a small wet area on the far end where a lone white crane searched for a meal. The next day, a torrent of rain arrived, rarely seen in this arid part of southern California.
Sitting on the boulder, a view of the tree and lake
For an entire day and night, the rain drove through the small valley, blowing in waves it seemed, gently nourishing the parched, sandy red soil. The oaks and boulders happily received it. And so did this lake – in just 24 hrs, the entire thing filled up, and a goose as well as about a dozen ducks arrived, happily swimming about the waters and foraging. Yes, miracles can happen in a day.
So I knew that a grand transformation was possible – in the land, and in me. I sat on the boulder, heart and palms open, receptive to its message. And I heard: “I Am.”
The boulder’s gift was stillness, silence, Presence. As it sits, forever planted in this landscape, it simply is, and it knows that it is. It knows the power of Being. “I Am”, said the boulder. That was my message.
The messages of the oak and the boulder came together for me, in a sweet and simple way:
“I Can”, said the oak tree
“I Can Grow”.
“I AM” said the boulder.
And that’s all I need to know.
My body softened, and my energy settled down into the firm support of this enormous rock that I sat atop. I felt the boulder’s groundedness and stillness. My mind became silent, and I reveled in the peace and ease of simply Being.
I felt capable, strong, and expansive like the oak, while my Being was still, grounded, and steady, knowing that I already AM. There is nothing I need to do; but I can allow myself to expand and grow.
After several minutes of peace atop the boulder, I stood up, touching the high branch that reached across my perch. I thanked the tree, all the trees, and thanked the boulder. With confidence that I can, I ambled down the backside of the rock, over the smaller stones and into the crisp but giving groundcover of oak leaves.
As I walked back to the house where the retreat was held, I knew nothing had changed in the outer circumstances. But within me, I experienced a shift. I had returned to my Be-ing, my Divine Self within. The gifts from the oak tree and the boulder continued to reverberate through my mind and expand in a sense of solidness and strength through my body: I Can, and I Am.
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by Connie Habash | Sep 23, 2021 | Being, Energy, fulfillment, Receiving
In order to do more in your life, you need to fill yourself abundantly by being more. Here’s how.
Most of my adult life, I have had a compulsion to do. It’s this nagging feeling that I’m not doing enough and need to keep doing more. Then I tend to overcommit myself, get overwhelmed, and have to clear the plate again to find my balance. The idea of being – what it was and why it mattered – didn’t even occur to me.
I’ve worked on the roots of this issue for some time. I have embraced doing less and I enjoy that! My sense of self is less defined by doing, and more by who I truly am.
But what about when I actually want to do more – not just the compulsive fear of not being enough driving me, but a deep inspiration and desire to share more with the world? How do I make sure I don’t overcommit and spin myself into that excessively-busy, overscheduled and burned out experience?
More Doing Requires Filling Up More
I realized that if I truly desire to do more in my life, I also need to up the ante with be-ing. Being is simply to receive and be present. Through being, I am filled up. I must (and I rarely use that word!) fill myself more before I can give more. I need to fill up with an abundance of energy, so that I have plenty to give. And, preferably, I need to fill myself first, not after I’m already depleted.
When we give to others through doing – whether it’s taking on another work project, volunteering, scheduling more clients, adding on a class, etc. – we can’t just pull that from our own personal energy reserves. If we do, it’s like overdrawing our bank account before we’ve even paid the bills. We’ll end up with a deficit of energy, leading to fatigue, burnout, overwhelm, and possibly even illness.
We’re Fountains, Not Basins
We need to be more like fountains. Fountains have excess water – that’s why they pour over the basins in such a beautiful way. Think of a 3-tiered fountain, with three basins and a larger pool at the bottom, the water spilling over in lovely rivulets that make a soothing sound.
If there wasn’t an excess of water, you’d simply be looking at 3 basins full of water. Nice, but not especially inspiring. And if we tipped the basins to pour out the water without excess flowing in, we’ll end up with empty basins. Bye-bye, fountain.
We’re fountains. In order to have the energy, joy, inspiration, skills, and gifts to give others, we need abundance flowing in. Plenty of extra energy to charge ourselves up with. So, in order to do more, we need to figure out how to fill up and receive an overflow of energy; otherwise, we’ll give away what we have for our own personal well-being.
What Does and Doesn’t Fill Me
It’s taken me years to discern what truly fills me. Akin to my bad habit of overdoing, there were times when I believed that more doing was going to fill me! So I’d overdo exercise, injuring myself or getting exhausted. I would plan a bunch of get-togethers with friends; I enjoyed connecting, but my introverted self felt boxed in and overscheduled. Or I would think I needed to sign up for a bunch of classes to improve myself – once again spreading myself too thin with my time and energy.
No, that didn’t work. What I discovered is that most of the things that fill me take very little energy and focus on being.
Yoga and some exercise, yes. But a lot of just sitting. Sitting outside in my sit-spot, whether in the front yard or just off a hiking trail, and being present with the squirrels, the squawks of the jays, and the smell of decomposing leaves. And meditation, certainly.
Going for a leisurely walk, without a limited time frame or agenda, simply noticing and feeling. Naps. Gentle yoga – not solely the “I’ve got to work on my chaturanga or backbends” kind of practice, but free-flowing, spontaneous, following what my body asks for (rather than telling it what it should do today!).
Sitting down to draw something unstructured, abstract – a sort of deeply-felt scribble. An easy-going hike with one friend every other week that also appreciated silence, listening, and meditation as part of the experience. Laying down on the grass with my teen daughter, looking at the clouds in silence, feeling the breeze on our cheeks.
Simply being – that fills me the most. Quiet mind, open heart, receptive to the Divine flow pouring into me, especially from nature. I noticed that when I gave myself ample being time – largely unstructured, mostly outdoors, often in solitude – I began to feel recharged, peaceful, and inspired. I had something extra to give after I was overflowing with soul-satisfying beingness.
I literally have being time scheduled into every day. Otherwise, I’ll just fill all my time up with more doing. I make it a priority, because I am so inspired to give that I know I must increase being in order to do.
If you’re an introvert, you know what I’m talking about and if you haven’t made it a priority, this is your wake up call. Even if you’re an extravert, we all require some of this simple downtime. Our minds need to unplug, just like a computer can’t update itself without shutting down.
Filling Up to Overflow, and Giving Only From That
It’s not sufficient to get “just enough.” IF you want to give more, you need to be generous with yourself. You need – yes, I’m saying the word need! – to allow yourself to receive renewal and replenishment abundantly through being. That is, IF you want to give. If you don’t, and you’re doing fine, then nothing to be concerned about.
But I wrote this for all of you out there – yes, my friend, you, reading this – who are caught up in the compulsion of doing like I have been and who truly desire to give something more to others. You not only deserve to be filled to overflowing – you need it.
What fills you up in a way that brings you ease, peace, and deep satisfaction? Yes, you may enjoy activities that “pump you up” – they may be part of the list. But those activities could be ones that also deplete you in some way. Look for what leaves you refreshed, relaxed, and the mind more serene. Seek what gives you extra energy that spills over. Write down the things that sustain, nourish, and replenish you in this deep, soulful and heartfelt way. Hmmm, how about pausing right now to brainstorm ideas? Take out some pen and paper and write them down.
Remember that you need to be filled plentifully – fountaining over. Only after you have filled yourself completely and have more coming in than you need do you have the abundance to give.
The Divine is Always Flowing
Great spiritual teachers, like the Buddha or Jesus, or more modern-day examples such as Amma (the hugging saint) or Mahatma Gandhi, can give almost without ceasing because they are constantly plugged into the Divine. They have a permanent energy circuit flowing from Spirit, so they always have an overflow. Amma gives people hugs for 24 hours or more at a time – she can’t do that from personal energy reserves, but from a continual fountaining of the Divine through her.
Most of us aren’t quite that plugged into Spirit yet – but the wonderful news is that the Divine is always giving to us. There is an infinite source of sacred energy available to you and me at any time; it’s for us to open to receive it. Just like the sun always shines (well, at least for a few billion years), Spirit gives. Infinite, without beginning or end, the Divine is the very nature of the word “giving”.
Be Like a Receptacle
For a receptacle to be filled and then to fountain over with excess, does it need to do anything? No! It simply is. Spirit then pours into it.
You don’t need to do anything in order to receive this renewal of energy – stop doing and just be. Be a chalice, a bowl, a crystal glass, an urn, a fountain. Allow yourself to be filled through being time for yourself.
In order to give more to the world, in service, inspiration, and determination, you’ll need to give more to yourself through being. Now is the time to make that a priority. Notice how it fills you in a different and more sustainable way than more doing. As you feel the overflow fountaining through you, you’ll feel the motivation and energy to give more.
by Connie Habash | Feb 27, 2021 | Anxiety, Being, Depression, Doing, Presence, Thoughts
Many of us – especially through the pandemic – struggle with upsetting emotions and don’t know what to do about it. Normally, we might reach out to a friend or spend time with a family member to feel supported. But even before we were bound to our homes or kept physically-distanced, we may have been too busy to connect with them. Our devices have taken over for much of the time we would be spending face to face with people we care about. This may leave us feeling disconnected from the world, depressed, and anxious.
There are many ways, however, that we can release these feelings, shift our mindset, and increase our sense of happiness and satisfaction with life, even while sheltered in place. The most powerful that I have found – and the simplest – is practicing Presence.
Believing Our Thoughts
Recently, I was working with a client who was struggling with anxiety. She had a fear about what other people might think of her. It’s a very common experience that you might be able to relate to. She was also feeling very alone, and as a result, a bit down.
What she discovered as we journeyed through the session was that she spent a lot of time imagining the worst, thinking about all the awful things that other people might judge about her, all her shortcomings, etc. Yet when she reality-checked those thoughts – were they true? Did she know that those people were thinking about her at all? She recognized that they had no basis in reality. But when she repeated those thoughts over and over, and believed them, she spiraled down into worry and sadness.
Shifting from Thoughts to the Here and Now
Introducing the practice of presence created a palpable change for her. Over several minutes, shifting her attention from the thoughts to the physical sensations of her emotions, she discovered that the emotions would release. She was left with a feeling of greater ease and relaxation. It wasn’t from trying to get rid of the thoughts; it was from shifting her attention to the here and now, palpable experience through her senses.
We’ve heard of mindfulness practices; presence is similar. By becoming present, we stop for a moment, notice what is happening, and let go of the need to think. Thinking keeps us in the world of thought, spun by the mind. Thoughts pull us out of presence – and often into mindsets that create agitation and upset.
Thinking vs. Being
So in practicing presence, we do our best (albeit imperfectly) to let go of thinking and reorient ourselves to what is happening right here in the moment. We fully give ourselves to whatever we see, hear, feel, touch, or taste, and allow it to touch us. Presence helps shift us out of constant doing and thinking into Being, which is our true nature.
When we’re fully present with our breath, the sound of the leaves blowing in the wind, the taste of morning coffee, or our steps on the pavement as we walk to our car, we receive a break from the demands of life and spaciousness opens within us. In that calm quietness that comes from letting go of thoughts and focusing on the present, we can feel a deeper connection to ourselves, the world around us, and the Divine.
Presence is a Practice
This practice of presence is so very simple in concept, and yet simple doesn’t mean easy! When we practice mindfulness in the moment, one of the first things we notice is everything that gets in the way of being present. Over and over, the mind gets triggered into thoughts that lead to emotions, and those can trigger many more thoughts that take us far away from being right here, right now. It’s an ingrained tendency to get caught up in thought.
So it’s important to be patient with yourself when learning to practice presence. It takes some time and effort to change those tendencies. And it’s a practice – we aren’t expected to do it perfectly.
Give It a Try
It is much easier to learn presence from someone who has walked the territory. But you can still practice on your own. When you notice thoughts arising, shift your attention back to your senses; what is happening here right now? What do you feel in your body? What do you notice around you? If a strong emotion arises, give yourself permission to feel it in the body, but try your best to let go of thoughts and stories about the emotion. Experience it as it is – a sensation moving through you, like a wave.
This is a simple and short introduction to presence… and I will share more about presence with you in coming posts from my book, Awakening from Anxiety. Stay tuned! Meanwhile, give presence a try. Share here any questions, and what challenges you have from “thinking”. Together, we can shift out of the mental agitation into more joyful, peaceful, fulfilled lives.
by Connie Habash | May 1, 2020 | Articles, Being, Doing, Freedom, Nothingness, Presence
It’s in nothing, not in doing something, that we find true freedom. The freedom of Being.
As I write this blog, I’m ending week 7. You may think I’m referring to the corona virus shelter-in-place, but I’m actually referring to something else: my journey through hyperthyroidism, which has incidentally overlapped, for better or worse, with the global pandemic.
It’s been a humbling experience. As a yoga teacher, I’ve been quite attached to my state of fitness. Within a few weeks, I went from my regular cardio workouts, weight lifting, and my yoga practice to stopping on each step of our stairs to slow my heart rate down. I couldn’t walk more than the length of the house without triggering heart palpitations, and I had to rise very slowly from bed. At one point, I couldn’t even do the most gentle of seated yoga poses.
My work and family life have suffered, too. Unable to cook or clean for a while, I needed to rely on my husband and daughter to pick up the slack. No more could I sit down and play a game with the family, and even a short walk through the neighborhood together was out of the question. I let go of control, and also released my attachments to the state of the home, doing things with the family, and my personal physical appearance.
During the worst part, I had to cancel all my client sessions. In fact, I even had to cancel one in the middle of it, because I couldn’t think clearly. All my events – even the online ones – were wiped off my schedule, if temporarily.
It has been a lesson of surrender into the nothingness.
For that’s pretty much how I felt – like nothing. I was used to making a difference, doing something that mattered to others. Now, I was faced with being nothing, as if I were irrelevant now that I was ill.
Most of my life – certainly my adult life – I’ve based my sense of self on doing. I was capable. I could succeed in school, and I could create my work. If I needed more income, I could offer more classes, workshops, or expand my counseling offerings. I could write more, do more events, speak more places… always doing more, more, more.
Sure, I’d stop and be present. It’s a hallmark of my spiritual practice and what I teach. But I didn’t stay there. It was a breathing point, a place that I could have a break. A break between all of my doings that kept my sense of Who I Am established.
All of that broke down over the last 7 weeks. Slowly, everything that I defined myself by was stripped away. Good enough mom? Now I can’t help my daughter or cook a meal for the family. Therapist? I had to clear my calendar of client sessions. Writer? I couldn’t put together a sentence. Speaker? Teacher? No way! Nothing profound was coming out of my mouth, and I was mostly filled with fear. The fear of watching everything you defined yourself by dissolve in front of you.
One night, when I was up for hours once again, unable to sleep, it occurred to me that I couldn’t hang on. I had to let it all go. I didn’t know for how long. But I needed to embrace the nothingness.
It’s vast. It’s scary. I traveled through the fear of dying as well as the fear of living. Because living is a risk. We all risk, every day, stepping into the world. I’m not talking about corona virus – that has just amplified our physical risk. But I mean the vulnerability of being ourselves. Stepping out and being who we are. Sharing what we have with the world. But sometimes, just being in the world.
Being had to be enough. I needed to learn that my beingness – out of that nothingness – was sufficient. In fact, it was Who I Am.
All the doings are like whirlwinds, like the hurricane swirling around that calm, quiet, clear center. That’s Who I Am. In silence and presence, without any doings, is the I AM.
The hurricane couldn’t exist without its center. I had to take this journey to find my center, and stay there. Nothing is the foundation of the Universe. It’s only because of the nothingness that something can arise. Otherwise, we wouldn’t know it as something, as a doing. We must have the non-doing, the being, the nothingness as the foundation.
I needed this time to let go of the flurry of winds, the untamed doing in my life, to find the being of my Self again. Still, my heart begins to pound when I am caught up once again in the doing; my rapid, run-around-on-rocket-fuel doing to try to be that “something” I believe I am.
This illness returned me to Presence; to simply being in this moment. Nothing, without doing. In this nothingness, I could be whatever I was in the moment. No expectations to live up to.
What I found as I allowed this process to unfold, to embrace that I was becoming nothing, is that everything flowed. When my body was ready to see clients, they were there, and even more showed up unexpectedly. People contacted me to be included in their projects. The more I aligned with my nothingness and allowed myself to be, the more I opened to allow the flow – and it showed up. Sometimes, nothing happened; other times, things to do showed up. Either way, I was still the I AM, still the unchanging nothing that was peaceful and more than enough.
Now, I spend time each day sitting in the sun, listening to the birds, as I did before – but now, I sit as nothing. I smile as I write this. It fills me more than all the doings.
What freedom in nothing, in allowing myself to be and knowing, trusting, that nothing is sufficient. More than sufficient; it is the fullness of All That Is. It’s a relief and a joy.
Allow nothing to be here right now for you, and open to the freedom of being.
by Connie Habash | Jan 2, 2019 | Alignment, Being, Divine, Presence, Self-Care
It’s the beginning of the year and I have been looking at the fact that, in my mad scramble to get my book finished, I have not been so good at self-care the last couple of months. Meditation has been sporadic, yoga practice minimal, trips to the gym only 1-2 times per week, rather than my ideal 3-4. Only been on one hike. Getting to bed too late.
I’ve been pretty disappointed in myself, but also embraced and accepted that part of meeting my deadlines involved putting a lot of condensed time into editing and preparing for the book launch.
Still, it’s been gnawing at me, and I knew that it was an excuse. My soul longs to be back on track. Ever since I was sick over Thanksgiving, it’s been hard to get back up on the horse, build up my conditioning again, and return to the habits that keep me feeling healthy, whole, and energized. I needed to get self-care back into my regimen.
Then, I read Angela Lauria’s blog (she’s The Author Incubator – the program that pulled this book out of me!) She’s dropping self-care. What? I knew there was more to the story, so I read on.
In a meditative insight, she realized that the idea of “self-care” made it seem like a “should”. Something you have-to do, something extra to put on your plate. I felt the heaviness in my body. She was right. Self-care shouldn’t (hmmm, there’s another should!) be a have-to, or something extra. That didn’t sound like the healing practice I intended it to be.
Her reframe was to call it Upgrade Time. OK, that makes sense. But it still didn’t sit right with me. The idea of an Upgrade made me feel like I wasn’t already good enough. That wasn’t in alignment with what I believe, or what I teach. We are all being Divine Beings, and my approach is to reveal that truth, to let go of anything that hinders our perception of our sacred essence.
There’s nothing wrong with us – there’s only misperception and blocks that we have created to realizing our inner truth. Those blocks aren’t who we are, but learned behaviors and perceptions from the world. It’s not a matter of upgrading ourselves to a “better” version of us, but rather seeing the truth of who we already are.
As I sat still for a moment and checked in with my own inner truth, I returned to the word Alignment. That was the word that resonated with me. I’ve been feeling out of Alignment with the Divine, with my essence, and with my body. Those practices of exercise, time in nature, meditation, and yoga return me to feeling aligned with my Higher Self. I know that when I’m aligned, I’m more present, relaxed, joyful, creative, productive, and calm. Some of the very qualities I talk about in my book. I knew I was on to something.
Some of the synonyms of alignment are balance, harmony, accord, and symmetry. To be aligned with the Divine and my true Self was harmony. That’s what I long for and relish when I’m in Alignment.
Moreover, Alignment is something that I can practice all day long – not just when I’m doing a “self-care” routine. It feels like a deeper level of self-care. I can notice if my breath feels in Alignment; my actions, my state of mind. Alignment connects with one of my main spiritual values, Presence. I don’t have to wait until I’m working out or meditating to practice Alignment; I simply open myself to it, wherever I am.
I could easily use this, though, as an attachment to being perfect, and criticizing myself for not being in Alignment. But that self-criticism wouldn’t be an alignment practice. It’s not about getting it right… it’s about feeling that inner ease and attunement to my greatest Truth. Alignment can simply be my compass to help re-orient myself, and feel connected to Spirit and my Divine Self as often as possible. Exactly the idea I had for my January retreat, too.
When I am aligned, I allow the natural flow of Spirit to come through me. I open myself to receive. My body relaxes, tension releases, and my mind calms down. Alignment isn’t a doing, it’s allowing myself to Be. From that harmonious state, I gravitate towards choices that are healing, creative, inspired, and soothing as well as energizing.
Upgrade Time works for Angela – for me, Alignment is the word. So I’m pointing my compass that way, and allowing even this moment of typing at the computer to be in Alignment with Source. I relax my shoulders, take a deep breath, and quiet my mind, so that the inspiration can flow. Now, I feel complete and motivated to get dressed and step into my day.
How about you? What feels like Alignment to you? Or do you have another word that fits better for ways to care for yourself in body, mind, heart, and spirit? I’d love to hear from you!
by Connie Habash | Jun 12, 2017 | Aliveness, Animals, Appreciation, Beauty, Being, Comparison, Nature, Presence
Every morning, shortly after I wake, I do my “sit-spot” practice outside in our front yard. This is a practice of simply sitting and being present with everything in nature. It’s a beautiful way to begin my day with the freshness of the morning air, the sun beginning to peek through the leaves, the squirrels racing up and down the oak trees, and most of all, the birdsong.
I relish hearing the variety of birds in our neighborhood. On those beautiful, bright, sunny mornings it is pure delight to sit by our grassy patch and hear a bird calling from the tall redwood tree 5 houses down to the right, and to hear the high-pitched clicking sound of a hummingbird as it zooms in for a drink from our Mexican sage.
This morning, however, was quite different than the others for the last couple of months. It was dense with cloud-cover, and rain was expected. For California in June, this is rare. With ordinary eyes, one might wake up, see the dismal looking skies, and decide to just pull the covers over the head and go back to sleep. A dreary, cloudy day.
Not so for the birds. Like every other morning I’ve spent in sit-spot on my lawn, the birds were singing their song. They were out there – the chickadees, the spotted towhees, the wrens, the juncos, and the hummingbirds – chirping away. Every day they sing their song, sharing it with the world, declaring their right to be here and the beauty of having another sun rise (even if obscured by the clouds).
Funny how we humans don’t always appreciate our days like the birds do. We look at the external appearance, like the weather, and decide if this day is worth it or not. We allow external conditions – the weather, our bank account, or our relationship status – to determine the value we give to our life, here in this moment.
Your value, and the beauty of life, isn’t based on these temporary, external things. You inherently have value, just for Being. Your life is a miracle, each and every moment, just because It Is. Truly – the fact that any of us are alive, that we are part of this cycle of life on this rare and extraordinary planet that supports and sustains a vast array of beings, from microscopic to majestic, is miraculous. Think about it. You are part of that living miracle, and this moment in time is just as precious as any other – when you are truly Present with it.
The birds aren’t thinking about how big their nest is, or whether they will get enough seeds today, or if they are a good enough bird to sing. They aren’t questioning their value. They aren’t thinking about whether they are better or worse than other birds. They simply step out on that branch or telephone line, and sing their song. The birds are simply BEING who they are and allowing it to express into the world. No comparisons, judgments, or worries.
Singing your song is simply being and expressing your true nature. Let it out; open your voice and let the sound of your soul move through you. It doesn’t need to be loud or outrageous or amazing. It just needs to be you. The sound of the hawk and the sound of the junco are both needed to complete the symphony of nature. You don’t need a reason to justify it – you came here to authentically be who you are, and to be a part of All That Is. It wouldn’t be the same without you! So sing your song, today and every day, in every moment.
by Connie Habash | Sep 5, 2014 | Appreciation, Beauty, Being, Connection, Delight, Heart, Nature
This summer, my daughter and I shared an extraordinary week-long camping experience. There’s not a lot of words yet for what I feel. I can only offer feelings from my heart. The heart speaks in non-verbal ways – how to communicate that in a blog?
I can share images, experiences that touched me. The sound of a single bird would wake me at 5:30, gradually followed by other birds. The opening to my tent faced east, and on clear days, I’d see the rays of light beaming through the redwood trees across the large field we had our village gatherings in. On foggy mornings, we’d hear the drip-drip-drip of moisture from the redwood branches fall on our tent. My daughter and I would rise at 6, dress and join the handful of early-birds to sing the wake-up songs for the camp.
One day, I took off my shoes and socks, and scaled a hillside barefoot with my clan members, stealthily surrounding another clan to surprise them. I felt alive, like a child, full of the joy of adventure and play.
And tears streamed down my face as the teens returned to the village, victorious after their 2 night backpacking excursion into the wilderness, all of us singing and drumming at the tops of our voices to celebrate their rite of passage. How much I longed for every child to experience this transformation.
This trip was the first time in over 20 years that I have spent more than a night in a tent, sleeping on the ground. More importantly, it was a week-long program designed to deepen my connection to nature and a sense of community, and indeed, it filled those places in me – the longing to connect to others, and the longing to connect to our natural world.
It reflected to me again my calling, my sense of the compelling need in our society for authentic, real connection to our own selves, each other, our planet, and Spirit. I feel ever more moved to create spiritual communities that are nourishing each of us on these levels.
As I did, step out into nature and connect to it from your heart. Let it nourish you, and soothe the soft longing for deep connection. From that place, you need no words to speak from the heart.
by Connie Habash | Mar 27, 2014 | Awareness, Beauty, Being, Connection, Delight, Grounded, Mindfulness, Nature, Serendipity, Uncategorized
I love to sit in my backyard – just taking in whatever I see, hear, and feel. This practice is called the “sit-spot” – a technique used by naturalists to immerse themselves in the experience of a chosen location in nature, to get to know the flora and fauna in a much more intimate way.
My eyes captured the movement of a bird, hopping on the ground. It was clearly an insect eater – small, with a long, pointed beak. I wanted it to come closer, but it slipped through the lattice work of the fence to my neighbor’s yard. I decided that if I wanted to know this bird better, why not be like a bird?
I sat on the grass and looked down to see what a bird could eat there. Much to my surprise, several creatures gradually emerged. Two tiny black beetles with a shiny, copper iridescence on their backs; a number of gnats hovering around; some other miniscule winged insect; a tiny white winged insect; and, of course, the familiar rolly-pollies.
While fingering through the blades to discover more insects, I spied some weeds growing in my lawn, and decided to start pulling them up. Slowly I worked, my fingers digging down into grass and dead oak leaves, gently grasping and tugging. I knew I wasn’t always getting the root, but I didn’t care. I wanted to finish this trail that led me about a foot and a half away, carefully removing each renegade I found.
After finishing this area, I ambled over to the flower bed I had worked on a few days ago. A similar ground cover to baby’s tears had invaded this area, where my campanula was growing. They have very similar leaves – the baby’s tears were slightly thinner, and the spiked edges were a bit brownish. I was able to distinguish them from the Campanula also by the fact that they interconnected like a web: as I pulled up one area, it had shoots that spread over and connected to another.
As I uprooted the invasive plant, more creatures were revealed; a creamy-brown, multi-footed creature, and an earthworm, who was quite displeased, wiggling about in frustration as I had disturbed its resting place.
It took some time, but I cleared another small area of the bed, and felt pleased at the little achievement. I can see why people love to garden. It is simple, quiet, and grounding. I feel rooted and alive.
The textures, smells, sounds, the humble creatures that visit our backyard, and the new foliage unfolding every day awaken my senses and deepen my connection to this little patch of nature. When I’m willing to be like a bird, a whole new world opens up to me.
What do you experience when you allow yourself to be like a bird?
At a point of internal crisis in myself with my fears and worries, two friends from nature – an oak tree and a boulder – grounded me and brought me back to my Divine Self.
In order to do more in your life, you need to fill yourself abundantly by 
Many of us – especially through the pandemic – struggle with upsetting emotions and don’t know what to do about it. Normally, we might reach out to a friend or spend time with a family member to feel supported. But even before we were bound to our homes or kept physically-distanced, we may have been too busy to connect with them. Our devices have taken over for much of the time we would be spending face to face with people we care about. This may leave us feeling disconnected from the world, depressed, and 
It’s in nothing, not in doing something, that we find true freedom. The freedom of Being.
It’s the beginning of the year and I have been looking at the fact that, in my mad scramble to get my book finished, I have not been so good at self-care the last couple of months. Meditation has been sporadic, yoga practice minimal, trips to the gym only 1-2 times per week, rather than my ideal 3-4. Only been on one
Every morning, shortly after I wake, I do my “sit-spot” practice outside in our front yard. This is a practice of simply sitting and being present with everything in nature. It’s a beautiful way to begin my day with the freshness of the morning air, the sun beginning to peek through the leaves, the squirrels racing up and down the oak trees, and most of all, the birdsong.
This summer, my daughter and I shared an extraordinary week-long camping experience. There’s not a lot of words yet for what I feel. I can only offer feelings from my heart. The heart speaks in non-verbal ways – how to communicate that in a blog?
I love to sit in my backyard – just taking in whatever I see, hear, and feel. This practice is called the “sit-spot” – a technique used by naturalists to immerse themselves in the experience of a chosen location in nature, to get to know the flora and fauna in a much more intimate way.
