by Connie Habash | Feb 20, 2025 | Clarity, Healing, Meditation, Mindfulness, Seasons, Winter
Whether cloudy or clear, wintertime can deepen meditation and heal the heart.
Clouds cover the skies like sheep’s wool, muffling the sounds of the birds and the passing cars. The overcast sends a shadow over my heart, evoking a little sadness and melancholy.
Yet it also dampens the noise in my mind, much like it softens the shuffle of people walking by on street. It’s a quiet that is expectant, like the silent and heavy rain clouds hanging overhead, not yet ready to drop their water pellets on the ground.
Quiet Cloudiness
This is so different than the quiet on a clear, starry night. That kind of quiet is spacious, vast, crystal-like in its intensity. That silence is almost deafening in its great expanse. It makes me throw my arms up and reach out to the universe, even though I don’t move.
This quiet cloudiness, however, is gentle, subtle, and soft, like a blanket thrown over my shoulders, wanting to wrap me up in its compassion.
Compassionate Clouds
It takes me inward, this muffled silence of the winter clouds, and makes me want to cry, just like the clouds want to let go of their rain. These clouds bring out what is hanging heavy in my heart, even if I don’t really know what it is. I can feel it, nevertheless, and long for the rivulets to flow down my cheeks, to unburden the old grief that I’ve allowed to hang out somewhere inside myself.
This is a healing, inward kind of quiet. A compassionate Cloudiness.
Clarity Revealed
The next morning, I wake and descend the dark stairs to my altar. Sitting on my cushion, out the eastern window I see the light blue already. Clear skies. The sun doesn’t take long to dust the horizon with a subtle pink, and the winter sun rises from his nap behind days of the wool cloud-blanket.
Clarity streams into my head and heart. It is a light day, and hope arises over the hills. My heart lifts with the sun.
Renewal
Even in the midst of winter, the signs of renewal are everywhere, including the sun itself. No matter the dark night or day, life comes again. After our hearts empty out in the melancholy of the darkness, they rise up from the soil and send out new shoots into life.
My heart now has more room. The tears I shed watered the flowers that will arise from those bulbs in the ground.
Let Winter Heal You and Deepen You
Make the room in your heart for meditation in the winter. Meditation isn’t always sitting and watching your breath, or chanting a mantra. Sometimes, it is a time to sit with what lies in the heart space and to feel it: without judgment, attachment, or disdain.
Winter offers the opportunity to have quiet time with yourself. If you allow whatever lies within to release from its confines, new growth can burst through, like the first shoot breaking through the casing of the seed. Let the tears, the joy, the worry, the past –whatever — flow through and out, making space for the greater potential that wants to germinate and expand within you.
Winter does its healing on all of us. Trust the process. Let the clouds hang where they are, and know that the sun does come out. When the sky clears, you’ll see it like you haven’t seen it for months.
by Connie Habash | Nov 19, 2024 | Meditation
If there’s one thing that I do to stay centered and calm in turbulent times, as well as clear out mental clutter, it’s meditation. It’s an important part of sustaining my well-being.
Part of making meditation effective is creating a suitable space for it. If you’re uncomfortable or distracted, it’s going to be more of a struggle to sit still, go inward, and find more quiet in your mental state. Check out this article below (which I’m quoted in) to give you a clear guide to how to create a meditation space for an optimal experience!
by Connie Habash | May 3, 2023 | Meditation
Tried meditation but found it hard to sit still and quiet? Did it for a while but then it dropped off your priority list? Here are some tips to get back to (or start!) your meditation practice.
I’ve been on a personal retreat for 3 weeks, and really wanted to get my regular meditation practice back on track – and I have! It feels great to be consistent with this centering, peace-inducing, and spiritually-uplifting practice. Perhaps you would like to start or reignite your meditation practice, too?
Pretty much everyone has heard of the benefits of meditation now. From calming your nervous system, alleviating depression, and soothing anxiety, to the physical benefits, like lowered blood pressure and decreased tension, meditation has much to offer us. Meditation can also help you sleep better, improve your attention span, and reduce age-related memory loss.
Sure, we know that meditation is good for us – but do we actually sit down and meditate? Nah. We do it for a while and then forget. We might try it once and don’t get it, or find it too much of a struggle to quiet the mind. If this sounds like you, you’re not alone!
Meditation doesn’t have to be a struggle. You don’t have to sit for an hour to receive benefits. And you don’t need to feel guilty if you told yourself you’d start meditating and have let it slip.
Here are some ways that work for me to make meditation more accessible, easier, and get me back to my practice when I’ve fallen off the horse.
1) Start Really Small
This is probably the best suggestion for anyone starting meditation. You may have been taught to sit for 10 minutes, or heard that you aren’t really meditating if it isn’t at least 20 minutes. Hogwash. Can you sit for 1 minute? Yes, I know you can. Set a timer (with a gentle chime!) for 1 minute and focus just on your breath. Next time, set the timer for 90 seconds, or 2 minutes. You can build it up from there, a minute more each day for a couple weeks… or, simply enjoy a few 2-minute mini-sessions during your day. Hey, you’re meditating!
2) Have a Specific Focus
Part of what makes meditation seem fruitless is that we just sit down and let our minds ramble all over the place. You won’t receive a lot of benefit from that.
The mind needs a point of focus. You can choose something very specific, like the sensation at the opening of the nostrils as you exhale. You can repeat a mantra or meaningful word in your mind, like “peace.” Find a focus-point that helps you stay attentive as you meditate.
3) Be Imperfect!
Even very experienced meditators have what the Buddhists call “monkey mind.” It’s all those thoughts that pass through your awareness when you try to sit quietly. That’s OK! Keep returning to your point of focus. Yes, the thoughts will come up again. Or you may feel really restless and can’t sit still. Every time that you notice that, simply return your attention to your breath or word. You’re not doing anything wrong, it’s just the nature of the mind to distract us. Try to have a sense of humor about it. Thoughts are rather strange things. Be amused but don’t become engrossed. Just notice and come back to your breath. Don’t expect it to go perfectly.
4) Try Something Different
There are many ways to meditate. While you don’t want to constantly jump around from one style to another, if you’ve been working with one kind of meditation and you just can’t seem to feel any benefit from it, maybe it’s time to try a new way.
You can do eyes-open meditation, for example. One way would be to choose a point to focus your eyes, such as a candle flame or a flower in a vase. When thoughts arise, gently return your attention to what you are looking at. This is considered a practice of concentration, and will actually improve your ability to focus your attention with eyes-closed meditation. Research different styles of meditation and choose one that seems more suited to you. Then, practice it for a while before you judge (or let go of judging altogether).
5) Go Outside
One of my favorite mindfulness practices, which is a form of meditation when you intentionally cultivating a quiet(er) mind, is called sit-spot. I learned this practice from Jon Young, author of What the Robin Knows. I love to start my day with it.
Simply find a place outside where you can sit and be fully present. If you live in an apartment, maybe you have a balcony or can go to a local park. The front or back yard are, of course, great spots to choose, and if you live near a more wild location, seek out a special place where you can return to for sitting regularly.
Spend about 20 minutes sitting, aware of what happens around you. Use your senses – what do you see? What sounds do you hear near you, in the distance? Is there anything within your reach that you can touch or smell? Let go of the need to explain, judge, or figure things out. Attempt to let thoughts go, and just be fully present where you are.
After doing sit-spot, I feel refreshed and happy. This prepares me better for an eyes-closed meditation.
6) Listen to Music
If having a soothing, serene piece of music to listen to helps you focus, become more calm, and keeps you in meditation longer, by all means, break out the headset. It will also drown out distracting sounds if your neighbor’s gardener has a leaf-blower going. Choose something without lyrics, unless they are your mantra of focus, so the mind will not be stimulated. I love the sound of a sitar, or Native American flute, for example. Find something appealing and quieting for you.
7) Walk
Another option is walking meditation. It’s a particularly helpful practice if you find sitting too difficult, but is highly beneficial to anyone. Walking meditation is best done outdoors, but can be practiced inside, too, if need be. When the weather is inclement, I walk very slowly and mindfully around my most uncluttered room (that’s usually the hallway!).
Walking meditation slows us down physically, which helps quiet and calm the mind. Stand with awareness and begin by noticing where you are. Then, start with a very, very slow step, aware of each movement from heel to toe, and the transfer of your weight. If you are outdoors, notice the temperature, sounds, and flora and fauna around you. Ten minutes or more noticeably calms me, and often I find that a sitting meditation afterwards goes deeper.
8) Plan It in Your Day
While it’s great to spontaneously do meditation anytime you have a few free minutes, it’s also very easy to get caught up in other things on the to-do list.
Pick a time of day that will consistently work for you and be relatively easy to start a meditation practice. Most people find either right after they wake up (that’s me) or just before bed. Maybe for you it’s just before lunch. Choose a time that makes sense in your schedule, and make it a special self-care moment for yourself. You deserve a few minutes of inner peace, don’t you?
9) Get Support
There are many ways you can be supported in your meditation practice. Look for a local community meditation class. Many find that meditating in a group is a lot easier. You have the benefit of a teacher to lead you as well as answer questions, and the energy of the group is palpable.
Don’t have anything nearby? You can invite a friend to do a sitting with you. Of course, many of us find it difficult to coordinate schedules with friends, and you may have family demands on your time when most others are available. A meditation download or app could be the answer for you. You can play it anytime, and either choose a simple mindfulness timer, or have an expert guide you. Some popular ones are Insight Timer, Calm, and Headspace, and some of my favorite meditation downloads can be found on Sounds True.
10) Don’t “Should” and “Have To” All Over Yourself
If you try to motivate yourself with guilt-inducing words like “should,” “must,” “ought-to,” and the dreaded “have-to,” I recommend that you take them out of your vocabulary (and not just for doing meditation!). Meditation is a choice; and one that you can feel good about, whenever you decide to do it. You can choose to have these 2 minutes for yourself in quiet repose. Give yourself the freedom of choosing and you may actually meditate more often and enjoy it more.
11) Start Now
Yes, I know what it’s like to say “I’ll do that tomorrow.” If you have time to read this blog, you can start now. You can take a minute in this moment to close your eyes and breathe consciously. Don’t make it a big deal. Let go of expectations. Just decide that you have a minute to do this and let go into mindful inner presence.
With an attitude of enjoying this precious time you are giving yourself, let your eyes close and be with your breath. The more you practice simple, no-big-deal moments of meditation, the more you’ll benefit from their gifts. It really can be easy and doable, if you allow it to.
Yes, you can start right now! Here’s a simple and uplifting meditation – it’s just 5 minutes and will fill you with inner light: Refreshing, Renewing, Releasing Meditation.
by Connie Habash | Jun 23, 2022 | Articles, Challenges, Meditation, Spirituality, Yoga Philosophy
This post, on doubt (samshaya) is the second of a 9-part series on the obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
vyādhistyānasanśaya pramādālasyāvirati bhrāntidarśanālabdha bhūmikatvānavasthitatvāni cittavikṣēpāstē̕ntarāyāḥ |
Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, worldliness, delusion, non-achievement of a yogic state, and instability are the distractions of the mind, and they are obstacles [in yoga].
Is it really worth it?
Am I capable of doing this?
Am I doing this right, or good enough?
Am I on the wrong path?
Why am I not enlightened yet?
Is there really any higher state of consciousness, anyway?
In any worthy endeavor in life, we’re bound to run into some doubt, known as Samshaya in Sanskrit; one of the 9 obstacles to spiritual practice. You may notice it arising in your mind as questions like the ones above.
Aspirational goals take time, effort, courage, and persistence. It’s not always fun. Whether we’re training for a marathon, getting through college, raising a child, starting a business, or on the path of awakening, there will be joys and success, and moments when we wonder if we’re capable or if it’s even worthwhile.
We doubt ourselves, our efforts, and the outcomes. We question if we’re doing things right, if we’re good enough, smart enough, or have what it takes. It’s all a bunch of hogwash.
Seriously. You may have just thought, “but really, I’m lazy. It doesn’t seem to be working. I’ve tried so hard and it’s not changing. Other people seem to be further along than me…” etc. Your thoughts are very normal, but they aren’t Real, and it’s important to not buy into them.
The Path Up the Mountain
If you want to make it to the top of a mountain, you have to keep going. It’s fine to stop and rest for a while. You can enjoy the view and appreciate where you are. You can turn back if the weather is bad and then re-ascend another day, or gather some equipment you realized you needed. You can go nice and slow, taking your time, or you can decide to shift to a different trail that is less steep. There are many ways to get up the mountain besides just a quick, easy, direct ascent. But don’t give up on your climb!
The spiritual path is very much like that trail up the mountainside, but the obstacles are primarily in our thoughts. The mind is very sneaky. It prefers not to change, to just keep doing what you’re doing and avoiding any discomfort. It fears that if you become more conscious and awake, that you won’t need it anymore. So any chance it gets, it will use these doubtful thoughts to attempt to dissuade you from your spiritual evolution.
Recognize that this is happening whenever those doubts apear. Know that the obstacle of Samshaya, doubt, is bound to arise on the path. And there are four essential practices that will help you move past it.
Practice #1 – The Neutral Witness
The first and most essential skill to cultivate is having a neutral witness within yourself. This is your higher consciousness, able to observe your thoughts, words, and actions without passing judgment one way or the other. It simply sees, hears, and recognizes what is happening in your thoughts and the reactions to those thoughts, which manifest in words and actions.
From your neutral witness within, you can catch that doubt in the act. OK, there’s the doubting mind again. Label it. The neutral witness won’t freak out because you’re having doubts; it won’t get angry at yourself, or fret over it. It simply notices and says, there it is again.
Normal, but not Real
Remember, doubt it is normal, but it’s not Real. Thoughts are not real or true in themselves, they are simply mental manifestations. You can manifest all kinds of different thoughts. Right now, you could choose to think utterly absurd things, such as that your toes are actually strawberries, or that poop is actually a song in mud form. Did I make you laugh? Why? Because those were probably some of the most bizarre thoughts you’ve heard and you know they aren’t true.
The funny thing is that we tend to believe a number of similarly false (but perhaps not as bizarre!) thoughts that occur in our mind. Why? Because they’re familiar. We’ve repeated them again and again, so they appear to be true because that’s our habit.
Question It!
The neutral witness gives you a fresh observation point on those thoughts. You can begin to question anything that arises – especially doubt! The neutral witness within you can bring your attention to the fact that it is happening.
When you are aware in that moment, then you actually have a choice. If we’re unconscious of our thoughts, they’ll tend to run us. But when they are consciously observed, then we can decide whether or not to believe them and what thoughts we’d like to change.
The next time a doubt about your meditation, yoga practice, or other spiritual endeavor arises, cultivate that neutral witness within you. Question the thought, give yourself a little compassionate understanding, and consider what to refocus on to keep you on that trail up the mountain.
Key #2 – Refocus
Yes – once you can see that you’re plagued with doubt, and have neutrally observed it with compassion, then decide on a different mental focus.
Feeling burned out? Rather than give up, take a little break with a clear time or day to restart. Wondering if you’re good enough? Know that almost everyone has this doubt, and that we’re all Divine beings with infinite potential. Feeling like a failure because it hasn’t happened fast enough? The journey is the blessing in itself when we’re fully open to it, and the goal is a great mystery. So come back to the here and now and practice Presence rather than having an agenda.
Use the skill of refocusing to shift your attention from the doubt to a more encouraging thought or a gentler way of practicing.
Key #3 – Faith
There are times on the spiritual path when you may feel discouraged, even depressed. This is when faith, or Shraddha, carries us through. Abbott George Burke (Swami Nirmalananda Giri) describes Shraddha as an “unshakeable faith in his objective, in himself and in the methods which he has adopted.”
Shraddha is the deep inner knowing of your path. It is the understanding of Truth with a capital T – that we are all, indeed, One with the Infinite Presence. Our true nature is not limited by our thoughts, emotions, sensations, beliefs, or perceptions. We embark upon spiritual awakening because our inner self senses this deep Truth and longs for the realization of it.
Invoke Shraddha when you’re stuck in that doubt. Remind yourself of what truly matters to you. Ask for a sign, a reminder of why you are pursuing this noble path. Pick up a book that will reinspire you. Listen to a recording of someone who is filled with the light of Spirit. This is faith informing your choice to refocus. Faith will guide you to what you need to move out of that mental funk and back onto your trail up the mountain.
Key #4 – Ask for Help
If you’re still struggling, reach out to someone. Find a yoga or meditation teacher that speaks to you, or reach out to your current one. If you are a member of a spiritual community, seek the wisdom of the spiritual director or a mentor. There are also online spiritual communities, classes, and support groups which can help you overcome doubt on the spiritual path. It helps to be part of a group of people that are similarly committed to their awakening. Together, you can bolster each other when Samshaya arises.
Keep these 4 keys in your awareness whenever you find yourself mired in the obstacle of Samshaya – doubt. Develop a keen neutral witness within you to see your thoughts and reactions clearly; remember that you can refocus your attention to something helpful or inspiring; keep your faith strong by knowing your true nature and the purpose for your practice; and know when to ask for help.
Doubt is likely a sign that you are progressing and have levelled up to a greater challenge and capacity for spiritual awareness. The Universe is saying that you are ready for more. It’s getting a bit steep on that incline. So keep your eyes on the trail ahead and know that, even when your mind doesn’t think so, you are making progress.
Ready for support on your spiritual journey? Find out how Spiritual Mentoring can take you to the next level.
by Connie Habash | Jan 28, 2022 | Compassion, Meditation, Self-Care, Suffering, Yoga Philosophy
This post is the first of a 9-part series on the 9 obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
vyādhistyānasanśaya pramādālasyāvirati bhrāntidarśanālabdha bhūmikatvānavasthitatvāni cittavikṣēpāstē̕ntarāyāḥ |
Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, worldliness, delusion, non-achievement of a yogic state, and instability are the distractions of the mind, and they are obstacles [in yoga].
Anyone who has been on the path of spiritual growth knows that obstacles are part of the journey. We all have things that get in the way of practicing meditation, yoga, prayer, or any other form of connecting with the Divine. For that matter, obstacles are part of life, and if we don’t want them to hinder our endeavors, it’s helpful to recognize what they are and what we can do to overcome them.
According to the sage Patanjali, author of the Yoga Sutras and preeminent yoga philosopher, there are 9 of these obstacles to our spiritual awakening. The first one is the most obvious: Vyadhi, or physical illness.
It’s so obvious that any kind of physical disease or injury can be an obstacle to practice that we may take a cursory look at this and move on to the next obstacle. But it’s worth a closer look.
The Importance of Asana
Certainly, whether we have a short-term cold, a longer injury like a sprained ankle, or a more debilitating illness, the physical body is difficult to tolerate when it’s uncomfortable. That’s why practice of asana, or physical poses, has been an important part of the yogic path for centuries, if not thousands of years.
The postures are intended to keep the organs healthy, circulation optimal, and maintain strength and flexibility of the muscles and connective tissues. This reduces physical suffering, increases health, and sets the stage for meditating with more ease.
No One is Perfectly Healthy All the Time
Try as we can, however, we won’t be perfectly healthy and out of pain all the time. Sometimes we’ll hit our funny bone, get a cold or flu, or wake up with a stiff and tight neck. And occasionally, we may contract a more serious illness or long-term condition that causes us discomfort and pain.
As a result, we may experience suffering which distracts us from steady, consistent, focused practice. Our mind gets agitated and full of thoughts about our distress. Our attention goes to our body, to the places that hurt, rather than our focus on meditation or prayer. Emotions are triggered, and it’s easy to become despondent, fearful, frustrated, and worried.
This is natural – no one likes to be in pain and discomfort. Physical distress is one of the biggest triggers for our emotional issues. So it’s helpful to be prepared when vyadhi, physical illness, arises.
Self-Care and Flexibility
First of all, have a regular self-care practice. Know what helps you to feel more physical ease. Regular exercise, relaxation, taking time to simply be without anything on the agenda, spending time in nature, and talking to a friend when you’re struggling – all of these things can increase your resilience when you’re physically challenged. What works for you?
Also, be flexible. Let’s take meditation, for example. If you aren’t feeling well, do you need to adjust your sitting position, or perhaps lie down to meditate instead? Let go of rigidity about it. Yes, it’s important to be consistent with your spiritual practice and in many spiritual traditions, following a protocol is essential. But we also need to learn to be flexible. Discover how you can practice when you’re in pain, rather than just “I can’t do this”. What can you adjust to make it more accessible, so you don’t give up on it?
Self-Compassion
Then, practice Presence and self-compassion. The focus of your meditation, for instance, can turn towards the place in you that is hurting (whether physical, emotional, or mental). If your low back is throbbing, pause and be present with it; fully aware of it and attentive to it, but with a quiet mind. Let go of any stories you have about that condition, while you open your heart to your back, just as you would for a dear friend.
Breathe gently into the place of suffering, and turn caring attention towards it. You can even talk to it compassionately: “I can see that you’re suffering, back. I’m here with you. I care and I’m listening to you.” Indeed, you can listen to the part of you that is hurting. It may have a lot to say.
Listen
That communication from your back can be in words, like “I need you to pay better attention”, or it may communicate in images, emotions, memories, or other sensations. “Listen” with your heart and simply witness and acknowledge what it says. Write it down. Then, thank your back or whatever is uncomfortable, and become present again with your breath.
You may discover that the sensations have shifted, perhaps even eased up a bit. Thank that part of you for its message and for bringing it to your attention. Then, return to your meditation practice or whatever spiritual practice you are doing.
Resilience Increases
Often, when we take the time to acknowledge our pain with compassion, care, and understanding, something in us relaxes. It also increases our resilience: we learn that we can be with that tension or ache, at least for some time. It doesn’t have to stop us from the heart of our spiritual practices.
When you’re ready to return to your meditation, allow the discomfort to sit in the background of your awareness – just as you probably would with your thoughts, too. Turn your attention to your desired focus, which might be your breath, a mantra, or simply witness consciousness. Whenever you find yourself distracted by the sensations, give them a kind acknowledgment and then return, again and again, to what you’re practicing.
Physical pain and disease – vyadhi – is one of the most challenging obstacles to spiritual practice, and that’s probably why it’s mentioned first in the Yoga Sutras. Tend to your body and keep up your self-care (especially your yoga asana!), and learn to be flexible. Remember to remain in the present moment with your sensations, respond to them with compassion, and listen to their wisdom. Then, you’ll be able to turn your attention back to your practice with a bit more ease and confidence that you can persist, whatever obstacles arise.
by Connie Habash | Sep 3, 2021 | Guidance, Intuition, Meditation, Peace, Relax, Release
Most of us don’t value silence – yet it has many blessings. Discover the benefits of giving yourself the gift of silence (and how to actually cultivate it).
Ah, modern life. It’s so full of busy-ness, to-do lists, and distraction – very little silence. There’s so much media around us to watch, play with, and listen to. It’s easy to fill every day with scrolling and watching, reading, and tuning into shows or podcasts. Plus there is the sound of traffic, leaf blowers, airplanes, vacuum cleaners. So much activity, and so little silence.
We may be a little uncomfortable with silence as a result. What do we do with it? Our bodies start to feel restless and tense, trying to figure out what to do with all that quiet. So we keep filling life with noise.
That noise isn’t limited to what is outside of us – internally, there’s constant chatter in our minds. Although it may be a very familiar friend, there’s a cost to all this inner dialogue and thinking – it expends a tremendous amount of energy. Excessive talking is a reflection of the internal thoughts, and also depletes our vital life force, adding to the noise.
Put together all the external, boundless noise in our world and the constant chatter within us, and it’s no wonder we often feel overwhelmed and exhausted.
The Gift of Silence is stepping out of that cycle of constant distraction, activity, and thinking. In the inner quiet, we receive many blessings:
- Energy – The energy we were wasting on thinking and constant external stimulation is reclaimed and renewed within us in silence. Imagine how much vitality you may discover from all that recovered energy!
- Ease – All that noise and agitation causes tension in our body and mind. When we finally give ourselves a little silence, the body has an opportunity to relax and let go.
- Creativity – If we don’t allow open, quiet, unstructured time, new ideas can’t emerge within us. Our brain is too engaged with all of the distractions. Recent studies have discovered that some boredom – which includes silence and letting go of “doing” for a while – increases productivity and creativity.
- Peace – If you’ve ever been stargazing outdoors in the mountains or desert on a dark and clear night, you have probably felt the palpable sense of peace. We can’t have inner peace without quieting the internal noise, too. Silence outside of us helps us find that silence within that brings peace.
- Inner Knowing – How can we possibly hear our intuition, or the inner, quiet voice of Spirit, when we’re inundated by external distraction and internal, incessant chatter? Once you access a bit more inner silence, you’ll be able to hear the gentle guidance of the Divine more clearly.
There may be many more blessings in silence that you haven’t discovered yet, because you haven’t valued it enough to seek it. There is a vast realm of your own True Self within waiting for you to find it in the quiet. Meditation is a wonderful way to discover that silence inside of you, but you can also experience it walking through the woods or down a quiet road, sitting in the sunshine, arising before dawn, or opening a window late at night. You can even use earplugs when the external circumstances don’t cooperate!
But don’t expect silence to be completely quiet. In meditation, the mind will probably still have thoughts. To find that inner silence, don’t try to shut those thoughts down: instead, seek and focus on the quiet spaces between them.
Give yourself the Gift of Silence; open to receive the ease, energy, peace, creativity, and inner knowing, and see what other gifts may show up in your life.
Want support in finding the inner quiet? Join me for my online Monthly Meditation Class!
by Connie Habash | Jun 4, 2020 | Aliveness, Awareness, Beauty, Challenges, Change, Meditation, Nature, Presence, Transformation
As I’m writing this, we are coming to the end of the first phase of our shelter-in-place for corona virus, and restrictions are beginning to lift. Everyone is looking forward to going back to “normal” – but that’s not what I’m thinking at all.
In fact, there’s a lot about “normal” that I am not interested in going back to, both in my own personal life and in our planetary experience. Instead, let’s stop fully in the present moment to assess what’s true, and step forward into the extraordinary!
For weeks, we’ve been under a state of worry, fear, and certainly restriction with the corona virus pandemic. Here in California, where I live, everyone has sheltered in place, and the news is full of the latest statistics, struggles, and losses. I turned off the news weeks ago – I can read what I need to know, but I want to fill my consciousness with someone other than corona virus.
This shelter in place time, however, has been a blessing – and a challenge – for me. That’s because, right at the time we had to shelter in place, I also became ill. Not with corona virus, fortunately, but with hyperthyroidism. As a result, I got the double-whammy. I felt amped up all the time. My heart pounded, was erratic, and I was very weak – at one point, I couldn’t take more than one step on the stairs before I had to pause and wait for my heart to settle back down. My body felt hot, and I struggled night after night with insomnia. At times, my heart pounded so hard that it was painful and terrifying. No wonder it’s known also to cause anxiety, both physiologically as well as from the worry about the physical symptoms!
So I was forced to sit. I couldn’t exercise, not even a gentle yoga pose, for a few weeks. I sat on the couch and in the garden, and I rested a lot.
But mostly, I reflected, introspected, and processed what was happening to me and why. I knew there was a gift here in this scary illness that halted my life, and a gift in the shelter in place.
Woe is Me
It would have been easy to get stuck in “woe is me,” the victim consciousness of “why is this happening to me?” and feeling sorry for myself. Feeling like a victim of circumstance, and powerless.
Woe means distress and suffering. There was plenty of that to go around. But I didn’t need to see my life that way.
Many of us have been lured into this state, feeling scared about the corona virus, helpless and out of control. Yes, there’s a lot out of our control. But our mental state – the thoughts we chose to believe – is something we have volition over. We have the ability to choose what we focus on and create our experience of what is happening intentionally.
I knew I didn’t want to be caught up in the collective “woe is me” mentality that the media was encouraging with every frightening story about statistics and suffering. I certainly had a lot of compassion for those who were suffering physically, financially, and who lost loved ones to the virus. I, too, had lost income and my well-being for a period of time. But I knew we weren’t stuck in a terrible state, unless I allowed myself to focus on those thoughts.
I knew there was something other than “woe is me” that I could experience about my condition and the world.
Whoa!
The Universe actually gave me a gift – not just for me, but for many of us. It offered a situation where we all had to come full-stop. When you’re horseback riding and you want your horse to stop, you say “Whoa.” So I shifted from “woe is me” to “whoa.”
My life had come to almost a standstill, and there was an opportunity here. I always look at what comes my way as some sort of gift, or at least an opportunity. With being forced by my illness to stop seeing clients and everything else that I was doing, it was time to take a good look at my life and what I was creating.
“Whoa” stops us in our tracks and gives us the opportunity to become Present. Until we are fully present – with our attention and awareness right here in this moment – we can’t really know ourselves. I had to stop and ask myself some important questions:
- What may have caused my condition?
- What do I really value?
- Who do I want to BE?
- What changes do I need to make in my life?
I don’t have the answers to all of these yet, and I know it will be a work in progress ongoing. But I came to some clear realizations as I sat, and sat, and sat.
- I discovered that hyperthyroidism is often associated with precipitating stress. I knew that I was overloading my schedule – doing too much, too fast, with too much pressure on myself. This was not the “normal” I wanted to go back to. I needed to slow down, be more present (my life lesson!), and do less.
- My meditation and yoga practice needed to return to the top of the list. It has felt so good to prioritize my meditations in the morning. I feel my mind and soul quieting down and opening up a spaciousness in me. Yoga is returning slowly, as my strength and stamina build in my physical recovery from hyperthyroidism. I’ve noticed that when I make time for yoga, whether during the day or before bed, I sleep better, in addition to feeling more alive and at ease in my body.
- Two of my most important values, which are related, are supporting a vibrant ecosystem and eating healthy: therefore, I needed to commit to cooking at home with local, organic, ethical and sustainable food. As a result, I have been learning to prepare meals and step out of my comfort zone with cooking. We are eating food that’s not only tasty, but I feel good about on all levels. My daughter and I have started an organic vegetable and fruit garden. We feel good about growing and nurturing this life right in our yard, and spending more time outdoors not just with the plants but the animals as well. We have created a bird bath that is frequented by many different species, and are currently fostering two swallowtail butterfly caterpillars into their transformation. We’re reconnecting with nature right here at home, and our whole family is rejoicing about it.
- I knew that, although I don’t buy as much “stuff” as the average American, I still had too much. I needed to spend less and only purchase what I need. In fact, as I looked back at March and April of my illness and shelter in place, 90% of what I spent money on was food and healthcare. That was true to how I wanted to live – sure, from time to time I’ll need to replace “things”, but overall, that’s all I really need.
- I let my creativity and joy drop off my short list, too. So it was time to break out the art materials and draw mandalas, create pastels, dance, and sing! To spend time listening to the birds, and playing games with my family. Prioritizing joy and creative pursuits were vital to my happiness and thriving.
- And now, with the recent killing of George Floyd and the consequential protests to bring light (again) to racism and unconscionable killing of black people has me reflecting more deeply on my white privilege, understanding racism, and what I need to change in my consciousness.
It’s a plenty big Whoa. What a gift it has been to stop, be Present, and see with this clarity. And then to take action by educating myself, learning new skills, spending time with my family, and growing past my edge of comfort. Not perfectly, and it’s not “done” (will always be a work in progress), but I have created a shift that feels sustainable and in alignment with my True Self.
Whoa is Me!
As I step forward from my pause in Presence, I feel a sense of inspiration. I shift from full stop with Whoa! to that form of Whoa that is amazement, delight, and awe.
I feel Whoa! not just about my inner journey and personal realizations, but also my physical body. I have been watching Dr. Zach Bush recently in some interviews, who predicted the corona virus outbreak and is passionate about the microbiome of our bodies and the planet. In our body, we have trillions of cells; but we also have quadrillions of microorganisms that support our flourishing on the planet. Without those bacteria, fungi, and yes, viruses, within us, we wouldn’t be able to survive. A strong, balanced microbiome, in both the soil and in our gut and other systems of the body, keeps us and the ecosystem in healthy, thriving balance.
For me, that was a Whoa! moment. I felt so grateful for all of this life within me, working harmoniously together (when it’s in proper balance, of course) for my well-being. I knew I was healing on many levels. The consciousness of all these microscopic beings was serving the higher good of the community of what I call my body. I embraced my body with tremendous love and appreciation, for all these organisms and processes that I didn’t quite understand, but I knew created the miracle of what we call life..
We are truly a community – we can’t separate ourselves from the air we breathe, the water we imbibe, the food that emerged from nutrient-rich soil (we hope – with organic, local, and regenerative farming), the sun that gives our planet light and energy, and the entire web of life. We can’t ultimately separate ourselves from each other as human beings, for we all come from the same stuff of the Universe. That is truly Whoa!
And within me – and you, and all of us – we have the ability to create anew, with each breath and each moment. We are conscious, Divine beings, and can decide who we want to be and what we want to contribute to life. We can intentionally choose what we want to do with our time, energy, and gifts, and how to apply them to the greater good. With the power to change our thoughts, attention, intention, and actions, we can transform our experience of life, and together, even transform our world.
We don’t need a lot. We may believe we don’t live in a big enough space to support what we truly want, or that we don’t have enough money, time, or energy. But we don’t need a lot of real estate, money, energy, or even clout.
Think of the last time you walked down a street and saw a weed growing in a crack in the pavement. We’ve all seen that, and maybe you’ve wondered, how did that dandelion grow there? It doesn’t even look like a millimeter of space in that crack. Yet it grows.
It finds a way to flourish, even in those conditions. It may seem like there can’t be enough soil, there’s not enough space, and there certainly isn’t enough water in there. But the dandelion isn’t thinking those thoughts. It finds the crack, and it knows what is possible. It grows because it knows. It only needs just enough room for the seed to slip in, and it believes it can thrive. So it does.
We all can, too. Even if there’s just a little crack in your life, that’s more than enough space for your thought of creation to slip in and germinate, if you know who you really are. If you open up to the awe of your Divine self, the infinite possibilities that lie within you and before you. If you know, believe, and put your focus on what you want to grow. Whoa Is Me! That’s who you are: an amazing, awe-inspiring consciousness that came here to Be who you Are. And you can make a difference in the world.
Don’t Go Back to Normal
If you find yourself, from time to time, stuck in “Woe is Me”, don’t judge yourself. Instead, embrace yourself with compassion. Then, stop – Whoa! – and be present. Ask yourself the important questions, and give yourself time to gain clarity and your new vision. You can write a new story in your life and for the planet. Recognize that you have unimagined possibilities within you, waiting for you to just give them a crack of space and attention to flourish. Then, exclaim to yourself, Whoa is Me! Be inspired by the gift of this life and your ability to create your vision.
Don’t go back to “normal”. Together, we can change the story and go forward into an extraordinary life and an extraordinary world.
by Connie Habash | Dec 5, 2017 | 8 Limbs, Concentration, Gazing, Meditation, Practice, Solstice
As the days grow colder and shorter – and the holiday season approaches – I am always drawn to candles. Candlelight is soothing, warming, and inspiring. My daughter and I love to light them all around the house and especially at the dinner table. We also relish time to create home-made, rolled beeswax candles.
Lighting candles is also a wonderful way to celebrate the first day of winter – the Solstice. As the hours of sunlight begin to increase from this point forward until summertime, igniting a candle (or several) honors and symbolizes this growing solar light, as well as our Divine Light within.
The ancient yogis knew the power of candlelight, and incorporated it into a practice called Trataka. Trataka is Sanskrit for the fixing of the eyes on one object. It is a form of dharana, or concentration, and also considered a practice of purification. You can practice Trataka on any object, but a candle flame is preferred, not only for its symbolism and beauty, but because it leaves a clear after-image on the retina.
This after-image is very helpful, because Trataka is performed first with eyes open, then with eyes closed. Trataka trains us to focus our attention on the object, and then maintain that image when we close our eyes. With a candle, because of the bright light from the flame, a clear and longer-lasting after-image results, making it easier to build concentration.
Actually, Trataka cultivates at least 3 of the 8 “limbs” of classical yoga practice: pratyahara (withdrawal of the senses) through cutting out all distractions other than the object of focus; dharana (concentration) through the intense focus on that particular point; and dhyana (meditation) through the stilling of thought. As the practice is perfected, one becomes absorbed into the experience of the candle flame itself and deeper states of meditation are possible.
Of course, you can enjoy and experience the benefits of Trataka without being a yogi. Meditation on a candle calms the mind, uplifts the spirit, and creates a sacred atmosphere. I always have at least one candle on my altar for this purpose, and you can create a very simple sacred space just with one candle.
There are reputed physical benefits to Trataka as well. The Hatha Yoga Pradipika, one of the most regarded texts of practice and philosophy, states that Trataka “eradicates all eye diseases, fatigue and sloth, and closes the doorway to creating these problems.” I myself have experienced vision improvement at times by practicing this. And if that weren’t enough, it supposedly increases your psychic powers by developing your third eye (looking forward to those results!).
Want to give it a try? Here’s how:
- Place a candle on a stable surface in front of you, at eye’s height (you can stack up books to get it to where you don’t have to tilt your head down to look at it). It should ideally be around arm’s distance away. Let the rest of the area be as clear of objects as possible, to reduce distraction.
- Light the candle. Allow your eyelids to be half-closed, and rest your gaze near the base of the flame, at the top of the wick itself.
- Try not to blink. The eyes will begin to fill with tears. It may take several tries to be able to sustain this through the tearing of the eyes. If you have to, go ahead and blink, but try to minimize this.
- Continue to gaze for about 3-5 minutes. Then, close your eyes and focus on the image of the flame internally. Attempt to sustain a visualization of the candle flame for several minutes, preferably at the third eye – the spot between and just above the eyebrows, at the center of the forehead.
- If you find it difficult, don’t worry. In the beginning, it’s hard to sustain the gaze and even harder for some to maintain the image in the mind’s eye. With practice, you’ll pick it up over time. Be gentle with yourself; don’t focus too hard, and let go of your expectations, so you can enjoy whatever your experience is.
Most of all, appreciate the beauty of the light that the candle emits. Let it remind you of the sacredness of this first night of winter, and the light of your own soul.
Copyright © 2017 by Rev. Connie L. Habash
by Connie Habash | Jun 9, 2014 | Consciousness, Meditation, Nature, Peace, Quiet, Thoughts, Tranqulity
Imagine sitting by the shore of a pond. There is a gentle breeze, just enough to tickle you, on a balmy, warm day. You can hear birds singing, talking to one another, with spacious periods of serene silence in-between. At the near edge of the pond is a grouping of lily pads, with several pale pink blossoms opening themselves to the sun. Other than the occasional duck that paddles by, the water is smooth as glass, undisturbed and reflective.
Suddenly, a sizable stone is tossed in the air, and lands soundly in the middle of the pond with a ker-plunk! A duck, seemingly out of nowhere, takes flight, fleeing to the far side of the pond, while the birds pause, listening. Ripples extend out from the point of impact, yet the stone itself has disappeared, settling to the muddy bottom.
Slowly, steadily, the ripples soften in their intensity, echoing out to the pond’s edge, and gradually the water returns to its smooth, undisturbed state. The birds resume their song, and the cattails gently bend in the soft breeze.
For me, this is a place of tranquility – quiet and peaceful, harmonious and natural. We all love to spend time in tranquil places in nature. But what we seek most is the tranquility of the mind and spirit. This is a mind that is free from agitation, undisturbed. It is an inner state of steadiness.
But like the pond, disturbances are part of life. We inevitably experience situations that create turmoil from time to time. More commonly, we experience mental turmoil – rumination, obsessive thoughts, worries, frustration. Just like the stone thrown into the water, we are all too familiar with pebbles, stones, and large rocks pummeling our internal pool.
The key to maintaining inner tranquility is found in the metaphor of the pond. The pond doesn’t resist the stone; it receives it, and feels the ripples from its impact. But the difference between us and the pond is that the pond lets it go. It allows the ripples to move out from the center of contact, and gently subside into stillness again. The stone becomes absorbed into the muddy bottom, settling into the stillness in the background of awareness.
When disturbing thoughts arise, become aware of them. Witness them, as if you were watching the ripple effects of the stone landing in the water. But don’t get caught up in the thought, clinging to it and building a story around it. Instead, let the thought go. Allow it to fade into the background, and feel what is beneath the thoughts: the inner silence.
The more attention given to the inner silence, that place of stillness that beneath the thinking mind, the more tranquility emerges within you. You’ll feel undisturbed, even when ripples of thought flow through. You’ll be grounded in the place beyond the surface-level agitations of the mind.
It takes practice, but tranquility can be yours as you learn to identify with the inner stillness, rather than the surface-level agitations. Be like the pond; as the thoughts subside, choose to return to the smooth, reflective inner space of tranquility, over and over again.
by Connie Habash | Oct 23, 2013 | Meditation, Patience, Play, Presence, Quiet, Satisfying, Soul, Writing
There’s something fulfilling for me about writing by hand with a pen. The contact of the pen on paper, my hand sliding across the page, the flowing movements, and especially when I am pleased with the forms the letters take. It is very soul-satisfying.
Even when I cross-out words, I feel gratified. It is a definitive action. A declaration to delete something I no longer want, that I can see and own.
Handwriting is becoming a lost art in our computer age. No longer are schools in California required to teach cursive. This saddens me. As a calligrapher, I deeply appreciate the form and flow that come from my hand onto a page that no font on my computer can come close to.
In an effort to slow down and be present, as well as to become more productive in my writing, I’ve decided to take a few hours every week to go to my counseling office and write. Without my computer. No distractions. Just my quiet, beautiful space, a pen, and a notebook. In fact, I’m writing this in that space right now.
I love to make writing fun. I pick out pens and ink colors that are playful and please me. I explore varying the formation of the letters sometimes to see what I enjoy.
Occasionally, I study handwriting analysis to discover how I can change things in my life through changing my handwriting. Vimala Rogers has written a fine book about this if it speaks to you.
Handwriting can be another form of meditation. Calligraphers through the millennia have known this. I know I’m more present and at ease when my letters flow and loop in that gratifying way. I steady my breath, my eyes, and my hand as I ease it slowly across the page.
There are days when it is a struggle to slow down and to quiet my mind. My handwriting reflects this, with chaotic movements, difficulty controlling the pen, displeasing shapes. It’s OK. I try to slow down and form my letters more carefully. They may not improve much, but when I’m mindful about this, it helps my thoughts to calm down. I slow down my breath. I come back to the present and the letters emerging on the page.
I feel connected to the words in a visceral way through handwriting. It is easier to write from my heart, my spirit – even from my body itself – when the pen is mindfully grasped between my fingers.
I invite you to take pen in hand. How does it feel as you write? What do you notice about yourself, in mind, breath, body, heart? Let any words, thoughts, feelings come to you. What feels satisfying about it? What does it bring up? Let it slow you down and bring you into the present moment.
What else brings deep satisfaction to you? Make some time this week to give yourself that. Let me know how it goes.
If there’s one thing that I do to stay centered and calm in turbulent times, as well as clear out mental clutter, it’s meditation. It’s an important part of sustaining my well-being.
Tried meditation but found it hard to sit still and quiet? Did it for a while but then it dropped off your priority list? Here are some tips to get back to (or start!) your meditation practice.
This post, on doubt (samshaya) is the second of a 9-part series on the obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
As the days grow colder and shorter – and the holiday season approaches – I am always drawn to candles. Candlelight is soothing, warming, and inspiring. My daughter and I love to light them all around the house and especially at the dinner table. We also relish time to create home-made, rolled beeswax candles.
Imagine sitting by the shore of a pond. There is a gentle breeze, just enough to tickle you, on a balmy, warm day. You can hear birds singing, talking to one another, with spacious periods of serene silence in-between. At the near edge of the pond is a grouping of lily pads, with several pale pink blossoms opening themselves to the sun. Other than the occasional duck that paddles by, the water is smooth as glass, undisturbed and reflective.
There’s something fulfilling for me about writing by hand with a pen. The contact of the pen on paper, my hand sliding across the page, the flowing movements, and especially when I am pleased with the forms the letters take. It is very soul-satisfying.
