by Connie Habash | May 11, 2026 | Compassion, Healing, Suffering
How do we embrace life as well as suffering and death?
This week, I began writing a blog about suffering, and I stopped myself. It felt too vulnerable… too difficult to talk about.
It seems that there is always suffering in the world – whether it is war, disasters, shootings, pandemics, ICE raids, etc.
No one really wants to talk about death and suffering. Yet it is all around us; we often don’t notice unless it comes close to home (or we are fed the images on TV or social media).
In nature, death is fully apparent but we don’t pay much attention. A large fallen Douglas Fir tree across a stream; a dried up earthworm on the cement, caught in the open after a rainstorm; a hawk catches a field mouse and brings it back to the nest for two hungry babies. The dead leaves on the forest floor are crushed beneath our feet as we walk.
Natural Death vs. Human-Caused Harm
Yet there is a difference between these natural deaths and these unnatural events of human device. A part of us can understand and somewhat accept the death of an old tree or one animal in order to feed another. But crimes of hate? War? Brutality and abuse? Rape? Sometimes it seems like all too much, and we ask why? Why that person? Why now? Why that violent act?
People often ask me what I think – why do these things happen? And my honest answer is that I don’t know. We can try to come up with explanations and investigations to discover motives, rectifications to attempt to prevent such future horrors. We can explain it by some spiritual platitudes or psychological analysis. But it still doesn’t change the fact that these things happened, and continue to happen around the world.
All I can offer, and all I can do (short of a march, a letter to a congressperson, words of protest, volunteering for an organization, writing an op-ed), is feel and accept what has happened and how it has impacted me. To share compassion with those in pain. To help them hold their own hearts tenderly as they grieve and allow the waves of pain to wash through until they have finished pounding the beach of the heart.
Holding Compassion for Ourselves and Others
Besides the actions we feel we need to take in the world to prevent future harm, the work we do within ourselves to heal from these traumas is of utmost importance. To work through what they may trigger within us from our past. To share our compassion and empathy with the victims. To help these “victims” find their empowerment again.
And to share compassion, too, with the perpetrators. I’m not unique in expressing this: until we can have love and compassion for everyone, then we cannot truly stop the pain in this world. The pain comes from lack of love, lack of compassion, lack of connection. My sense, as other spiritual leaders have expressed, is that those who inflict pain are suffering inside, especially from a deep rift of disconnection with others.
Returning to Connection – with Self, Others, and Spirit
This is the plague of our modern society: disconnection. It is not a simple solution. It will take more time than probably our lifetimes to change. But we must heal the deep disconnection in our culture by making conscious effort to connect to others… friends, neighbors, strangers, people similar and people very different from us. And conscious effort to connect to ourselves.
Everything that I do is, ultimately, focused on healing this rampant sense of disconnection and returning us to deeply connect with each other in community, to connect to the Earth (that’s a whole other topic!), to connect to our very own selves, and to connect to Spirit.
If that touches you in some profound or gentle way, I am here for you. Whether online or in person, let me know where you feel disconnected and how you want to heal. For we are truly all connected by something beyond what we can see or touch… we are connected by the Divine itself, by the Source of Life that gave rise to you and me and all life here.
May the Divine enfold you with deep love and compassion… and may you receive it deeply into your heart.
Wherever you feel disconnected or in pain, there is a path back to connection. Explore Counseling (if you’re in California) or Spiritual Mentoring and take a step toward healing and inner support.
by Connie Habash | Jan 28, 2022 | Compassion, Meditation, Self-Care, Suffering, Yoga Philosophy
This post is the first of a 9-part series on the 9 obstacles to spiritual practice, from verse 1:30 of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras:
vyādhistyānasanśaya pramādālasyāvirati bhrāntidarśanālabdha bhūmikatvānavasthitatvāni cittavikṣēpāstē̕ntarāyāḥ |
Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, worldliness, delusion, non-achievement of a yogic state, and instability are the distractions of the mind, and they are obstacles [in yoga].
Anyone who has been on the path of spiritual growth knows that obstacles are part of the journey. We all have things that get in the way of practicing meditation, yoga, prayer, or any other form of connecting with the Divine. For that matter, obstacles are part of life, and if we don’t want them to hinder our endeavors, it’s helpful to recognize what they are and what we can do to overcome them.
According to the sage Patanjali, author of the Yoga Sutras and preeminent yoga philosopher, there are 9 of these obstacles to our spiritual awakening. The first one is the most obvious: Vyadhi, or physical illness.
It’s so obvious that any kind of physical disease or injury can be an obstacle to practice that we may take a cursory look at this and move on to the next obstacle. But it’s worth a closer look.
The Importance of Asana
Certainly, whether we have a short-term cold, a longer injury like a sprained ankle, or a more debilitating illness, the physical body is difficult to tolerate when it’s uncomfortable. That’s why practice of asana, or physical poses, has been an important part of the yogic path for centuries, if not thousands of years.
The postures are intended to keep the organs healthy, circulation optimal, and maintain strength and flexibility of the muscles and connective tissues. This reduces physical suffering, increases health, and sets the stage for meditating with more ease.
No One is Perfectly Healthy All the Time
Try as we can, however, we won’t be perfectly healthy and out of pain all the time. Sometimes we’ll hit our funny bone, get a cold or flu, or wake up with a stiff and tight neck. And occasionally, we may contract a more serious illness or long-term condition that causes us discomfort and pain.
As a result, we may experience suffering which distracts us from steady, consistent, focused practice. Our mind gets agitated and full of thoughts about our distress. Our attention goes to our body, to the places that hurt, rather than our focus on meditation or prayer. Emotions are triggered, and it’s easy to become despondent, fearful, frustrated, and worried.
This is natural – no one likes to be in pain and discomfort. Physical distress is one of the biggest triggers for our emotional issues. So it’s helpful to be prepared when vyadhi, physical illness, arises.
Self-Care and Flexibility
First of all, have a regular self-care practice. Know what helps you to feel more physical ease. Regular exercise, relaxation, taking time to simply be without anything on the agenda, spending time in nature, and talking to a friend when you’re struggling – all of these things can increase your resilience when you’re physically challenged. What works for you?
Also, be flexible. Let’s take meditation, for example. If you aren’t feeling well, do you need to adjust your sitting position, or perhaps lie down to meditate instead? Let go of rigidity about it. Yes, it’s important to be consistent with your spiritual practice and in many spiritual traditions, following a protocol is essential. But we also need to learn to be flexible. Discover how you can practice when you’re in pain, rather than just “I can’t do this”. What can you adjust to make it more accessible, so you don’t give up on it?
Self-Compassion
Then, practice Presence and self-compassion. The focus of your meditation, for instance, can turn towards the place in you that is hurting (whether physical, emotional, or mental). If your low back is throbbing, pause and be present with it; fully aware of it and attentive to it, but with a quiet mind. Let go of any stories you have about that condition, while you open your heart to your back, just as you would for a dear friend.
Breathe gently into the place of suffering, and turn caring attention towards it. You can even talk to it compassionately: “I can see that you’re suffering, back. I’m here with you. I care and I’m listening to you.” Indeed, you can listen to the part of you that is hurting. It may have a lot to say.
Listen
That communication from your back can be in words, like “I need you to pay better attention”, or it may communicate in images, emotions, memories, or other sensations. “Listen” with your heart and simply witness and acknowledge what it says. Write it down. Then, thank your back or whatever is uncomfortable, and become present again with your breath.
You may discover that the sensations have shifted, perhaps even eased up a bit. Thank that part of you for its message and for bringing it to your attention. Then, return to your meditation practice or whatever spiritual practice you are doing.
Resilience Increases
Often, when we take the time to acknowledge our pain with compassion, care, and understanding, something in us relaxes. It also increases our resilience: we learn that we can be with that tension or ache, at least for some time. It doesn’t have to stop us from the heart of our spiritual practices.
When you’re ready to return to your meditation, allow the discomfort to sit in the background of your awareness – just as you probably would with your thoughts, too. Turn your attention to your desired focus, which might be your breath, a mantra, or simply witness consciousness. Whenever you find yourself distracted by the sensations, give them a kind acknowledgment and then return, again and again, to what you’re practicing.
Physical pain and disease – vyadhi – is one of the most challenging obstacles to spiritual practice, and that’s probably why it’s mentioned first in the Yoga Sutras. Tend to your body and keep up your self-care (especially your yoga asana!), and learn to be flexible. Remember to remain in the present moment with your sensations, respond to them with compassion, and listen to their wisdom. Then, you’ll be able to turn your attention back to your practice with a bit more ease and confidence that you can persist, whatever obstacles arise.
by Connie Habash | Dec 29, 2021 | Compassion, Empathy, Sensitivity
Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) are known to be easily overwhelmed by the pressures of our fast-paced society, agitated by intense sensory experiences, and disturbed by violence and horror films. Maybe we are actually the sane ones, and the planet needs us.
For a number of years, I’ve known I was an HSP – a highly sensitive person. I cry easily, and am strongly affected by images I see on TV and in movies. Even reading something disturbing can set me off for hours. Sounds and little bits of light can keep me awake at night (I cover my eyes and plug my ears). If I have too much on my plate, I can spin around in a frenzy and freeze, unable to attend to any of it. And I’m not even that high on the sensitivity scale – some HSPs can’t stand the feeling of clothing on their skin and avoid going out because of overstimulation.
Most of all, I am sensitive to the energies and emotions of others. HSPs are often empaths, able to feel other people’s feelings. Going into a crowded room can be overload, not just because of being an introvert (which I am), but as a corollary to that I simply don’t always have the bandwidth to buffer the vibrations of other people and try to keep a clear boundary around my own.
The Upside of Being Highly Sensitive
HSPs also are more easily touched in their heart and soul. It’s not uncommon for a highly sensitive person to feel deeply moved whenever in nature; the song of a bird, the smell of moist soil, a majestic tree, or the patterns of clouds across the evening sky can make one swoon in pleasure. A profound piece of music can move me to tears, and a radiant piece of art leaves me awestruck.
That’s the upside of HSPs: an almost magical attunement to beauty, aliveness, energy, and life force. The energies of nature are usually easier on our systems than the agitated, competitive, pressured rush of modern-day human culture. HSPs instinctively feel the dissonance of our high pressure world and the resonance of nature.
Leading the Charge to What is Healing and Meaningful
Being on devices constantly, spacing out in front of the TV, playing games, social media – sure, we’ve all done some of that. But you, my sensitive friend, can feel the effects of too much. You are not able to ignore how it cuts us off from what is truly healing, fulfilling, and meaningful; how it agitates the brain, and wrecks havoc on our mind, emotions, and body.
You’re probably one of the folks leading the charge to engage with nature, to heal our ailing planet, and to find ways to reconnect, human being to human being, and human being to the natural world. We’ve become disconnected from ourselves, each other, the planet and the Divine. It’s causing us to suffer deeply. HSPs feel what’s going on with others, and sense the collective agony of our society.
The Bad News and the Good News
This is your challenge and gift, empaths. The bad news is that you’re sensitive; the good news is that you’re sensitive. You’re noticing what most of the culture, caught up in “what everyone else is doing”, is embroiled in that is unhealthy and out of alignment.
You know what feels right and what is soul-sucking. You can’t help but feel it, even when others seem to be numb. Your compassion and care are as big as the Earth itself. This is the foundation for the much-needed planetary transformation.
The World Needs HSPs and Empaths!
The world needs us, HSPs. We are sounding the alarm. We are the ones letting everyone know what truly matters and will fulfill us in a deeper way than buying, scrolling, “liking”, hyper-stimulation, and hours of social media could ever do.
I see you, HSPs and empaths, and I’m with you. Honor your gifts. Recognize that your very challenges of being sensitive to all the distractions, violence, overstimulation, and pressures of the modern world are a sane response. Very sane. You’ve come here, like me, to help us turn towards a healing, thriving, harmonious, and empowering direction on the planet. Thank you – let’s share what we feel and know with the world. 🙏
Are you a spiritual (and highly sensitive!) woman who loves the Earth and wants to connect with others who care about the planet and our growth as human and spiritual beings? Check out the Awakening Women of the Earth (AWE) community!
by Connie Habash | Aug 19, 2021 | Anxiety, Compassion, Even-mindedness
It seems that the world around us is filled with problems and suffering sometimes – fires, floods, earthquakes, war torn countries, climate change – not to mention the pandemic. As naturally empathic and caring people, we may feel the pain of the world in our own heart and body. This can cause overwhelm and anxiety, and it’s not a particularly healthy or helpful response. Here’s what you can do to remain compassionate and also feel sane. [ excerpted from Chapter 7, “Feeling the Pain of the World” in my book, Awakening from Anxiety: A Spiritual Guide to Living a More Calm, Confident, and Courageous Life]
As spiritual folks, we deeply care about others, whether human or in the natural world. Empathy comes naturally to us – that ability to understand and even feel the emotions of others. We hear of the suffering of people in Afghanistan or Haiti, dolphin, rhino, and gorilla populations dwindling, rainforest devastation, massive wildfires, earthquakes in the Pacific rim, and the war-torn Middle East, and it touches us so deeply that we may fall apart. Just reading those words was probably more than enough to evoke a worried look on your face and the anxiety to build.
But feeling the pain of the world doesn’t serve anyone. While it is important to have compassion and empathy, it’s also important to keep ourselves protected from emotional overload and compassion fatigue, which can be debilitating. If we allow ourselves to become overwhelmed by the suffering of others, we won’t be able to assist them or effectively serve our purpose in the world, and it can hinder our own spiritual awakening.
The Challenge of Being Empaths
For those of us who are empaths – people who naturally pick up on the emotions of others – the unconscious tendency is to run the pain of the world through our own nervous system. We might even believe that it is the “more spiritual” thing to do: to deeply understand and connect with others in pain. We believe we can handle it, but then wonder why we feel fried and freaked out.
There’s a difference, however, between feeling compassion for the suffering of others and confusing it with creating our own suffering. If we wear ourselves down, even make ourselves ill by taking on the collective pain, is that really spiritual? Are we truly helping anyone? Is it bringing us more inner peace —or increasing our anxiety? This is unhealthy empathy. Robin Stern, associate director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence asserts in an article in The Washington Post that “those who regularly prioritize others’ emotions over their own are more susceptible to experiencing anxiety or low-level depression.”
Let’s not confuse service to others and the planet with absorbing all the negative energy around us in an effort to care, understand, or help out. All that does is increase our feeling of overwhelm and despair. Let’s also be mindful not to confuse the emotions of others with our own. That’s another aspect of unhealthy empathy; inability to discern our emotions from others’. When we take on the pain of the world, we may be unconsciously processing emotions that don’t belong to us through our own physical and energetic bodies. This creates psychological confusion, causes us unnecessary suffering, and even creates physical problems, like illness, burnout, or chronic fatigue.
A Different Response – Compassion
A different response than empathy is compassion. Compassion allows us to recognize someone else’s pain, attempt to understand it, and express our caring in some helpful way. It doesn’t mean to put ourselves through exactly what that person or animal is feeling. As a spiritual practice, compassion should empower us to take helpful action to alleviate the pain—and for that, we need to feel strong, centered, and calm within.
When we take on the pain of others, we’re reacting rather than responding. We are feeling the emotions as if they are our own, allowing them to trigger our own issues in addition to the suffering we see around us. This is reactivity, not higher consciousness.
In order to respond, rather than react, we need to be aware of what happens in us when we’re exposed to an upsetting situation. We have a number of thoughts that might arise, like “How terrible! Something must be done! I can’t stand this. I have to do something now. It will be horrible if it isn’t stopped. I don’t know what to do – it’s hopeless.” Naturally, this brings on fear.
The compassion we feel transforms into fear of what is happening, which triggers our anxiety and the fight/flight/freeze/faint response within us. It can incapacitate us (freeze or faint), cause us to withdraw (flight), or create an overreaction that may attack the problem in an unhelpful way (fight). Now, this becomes our issue of fear, rather than focusing on what is helpful to the situation.
Notice if you have an anxiety reaction to someone’s pain, whether a close friend or an animal you saw on a YouTube video. Ask yourself if your reaction is helpful to the situation. What would be the most helpful response, if you weren’t triggered into anxiety?
Karuna and Upeksha
Karuna, the practice of compassion in yogic philosophy, is said to maintain serenity of mind when faced with others who suffer. But you won’t be able to access that serenity if you use compassion to create fear, worry, and overwhelm in yourself.
Additionally, compassion shouldn’t disempower the one who suffers, or you. See the situation as one that can be healed or transformed. Trust that your response matters, even if it doesn’t “fix” it completely. Let whatever you can offer be enough. And don’t create more suffering in the world by taking it all on, energetically and emotionally, and then feeling like you will fall apart. That doesn’t help anyone.
The practice of Upeksha, even-mindedness (which we explored in Chapter 4), can assist in being compassionate from a more centered, calm, and courageous place. When we see suffering, especially a global situation like human trafficking, for example, there is also a judgment. This is wrong, the people who perpetuate this are horrible, etc. We may even be right about that. But if we buy into those thoughts, it can take us into an anxiety-reaction, and we may become less effective in creating the change in order to “right those wrongs” and end the painful cycle. We do not need anxiety as the motivator and juice to impel us to take right action.
Try to notice the situation from the even-minded clarity of upeksha. It’s true, this is causing harm to others, and I want to make a difference. I feel called to some sort of action. From a deeply caring place within us, we see what can be done without attacking those we see as perpetrators. Upeksha helps us to shift out of attacking those who have done the harm to healing and empowering those who are suffering. We can find our own empowerment within as well, by not allowing this situation to perpetuate more suffering by amplifying it within ourselves.
Explore your thoughts, beliefs, and reactions to the pain of the world on a deeper level. You don’t need to fall into the unhealthy empathy trap and take it on as your own. Shift out of anxiety and into a healthier approach. Take the empowering step to respond with compassionate care and understanding, practice even-mindedness to keep yourself even-keel, and then discern the most healing, helpful action you can take.
And remember to be compassionate towards yourself, too.
Want help with releasing unhealthy empathy, releasing anxiety, and feeling calm again? Check out Awakening from Anxiety: A Spiritual Guide to Living a More Calm, Confident, and Courageous Life!
by Connie Habash | Jan 16, 2020 | Acceptance, Compassion, Healing, Judgment
Whether it’s a Judeo-Christian form of the Divine or some other perception of “God,” many of us struggle with feeling that we don’t live up to Divine expectations of us. It’s time to change that perception.
I have seen it in myself and many others – the internalized, judgmental God. It’s the inner critic we are so accustomed to battling, but formed into a deity we may have grown up with. It feels all-powerful and punishing; but we can transform it into the unconditionally loving presence that the Divine truly is.
When I was little, my parents took me to Sunday school at our church – a Presbytarian, traditional, conservative community in Southern California. There, I learned two ideas about God: the form of Jesus, that “loved me”; and then this other, less clear idea of the Divine that was judging me for my “sins”. Apparently, I was doing something bad and although I was loved anyway, it didn’t make me feel much better.
I was fixated on that “badness”. Unconsciously, I went on an internal investigation to root out those parts of myself that God probably wasn’t pleased with. I became a perfectionist (although, honestly, I was probably born that way), seeing everything through the lens of what’s wrong and how I can fix it. Especially myself.
It’s hard to live feeling like you’re always being judged, isn’t it? I didn’t understand at such a young age, when these ideas were impressed upon me, that the only one judging me was actually me.
The Internalized Judgmental God
I had internalized the sense of a God that criticizes, judges, and punishes our shortcomings. It became part of my own psyche, and repeatedly wounded me.
I cast a punishing, scathing old man or woman in the judge’s chair, always finding fault. There was the allure of salvation in discovering the fault myself and then trying to make amends or fix that imperfection. But of course, there’s always something else. I could never attain “good enough” status.
Self-Harm
The habit of trying to eradicate what I deemed was sub-par in myself is a violent tendency. “Getting rid of” and “fixing” cause us to torment, reject, and destroy parts of ourselves. What we do to ourselves psychically in the name of pleasing a critical “God” is self-harm. Cutting ourselves up into pieces we like, and pieces we don’t like; trying to discard the latter.
In fact, I had such a compulsion to get rid of imperfections that I developed a mild skin picking disorder – one I still struggle with to this day. Self-injury through mental chastization of this imaginary, judgemental “God” can lead to physical self-harm.
Changing How I saw God – and Myself
My life changed when I recognized this “God” was something that I put in the judge’s chair, and I began seeking what the Divine truly is.
The truth that I have come to know, that changed this whole dynamic for me, is that the Divine is beyond judgment. It is the source of unconditional love, and the source of everything. All of creation has emerged from it, and is an outward expression of this Infinite Source.
The Divine, which is Unconditional Love, sees with Unconditional Love. It sees us as beloved facets of its very own Self. It sees us with eyes of love and acceptance. If we could see ourselves and our lives with those eyes, we would know our blessings, gifts, and beauty. By seeing with Spirit’s eyes, we would know we are wonderful, unique expressions of that creative, loving force.
A Different Way of Growing
But what about spiritual growth, I pondered? Aren’t I supposed to improve and continue to become “better”? Am I not here to grow and unfold as a spiritual being in a human experience? Indeed, all of us are. But there is a different way of growing than finding flaws and trying to rid ourselves of them.
“Trying harder” was transformed into self-acceptance and allowing new qualities to emerge from within me. “Being perfect” needed to give way to embracing my imperfections with compassion, seeing in them opportunities to open my heart more. “Fixing flaws” brought to awareness how I would focus on my problems. Instead, I turned my attention to my gifts, even those hidden in the “flaws”, and what the wounded places in myself were calling for.
The Good Enough/Not Good Enough Polarity
Every day, I stepped out of the good enough/not good enough polarity. “Not good enough” is hard to rewire in the habits of my brain. I was so used to seeing myself in that light.
But swinging to “good enough” wasn’t really the answer, either. By whose standard? What does that really mean? Either end of the polarity implies comparison, judgment, and something outside of myself holding the measuring stick.
We can transcend good enough/not good enough, to step outside of comparison and see ourselves from the perspective of Wholeness. I’d rather be whole and healed than chopped up into pieces I like and pieces I don’t like. I’d rather be whole than to feel good enough in one moment, and then, like a pendulum, be swung back into not good enough the next.
Wholeness sees all of the Self as essential and part of who we are. Every aspect of ourselves has value and is needed. We need both day and night, summer and winter. Wholeness is a principle of healing and of life. Lesley Tierra, L.Ac., author of Healing with the Herbs of Life, states:
“Herbs are a complex, synergistic whole in which each of its chemical parts contributes to, or buffers, the other parts. In separating out and concentrating one active principle from the rest, this important balance is lost.”
So, too, are we humans complex. Were we to remove parts of ourselves that we didn’t like or see value in, we’d lose our balance. We’d destroy aspects that may have had hidden gems in them, beyond our clouded, judgmental perception.
Self-Compassion and Feeding the Demons
Our anger, fear, anxiety, insecurities, even our judgment itself, can offer something to us. It’s essential, as we heal this judgmental “God” within, not to judge the judge. As we embrace our inner judge with compassion, it has the opportunity to soften and transform into our ally.
This is the practice of self-compassion, where we learn to embrace the pain and uncomfortable parts of ourselves with presence, caring, and understanding. It is similar to the Buddhist practice of “feeding the demons.”
These parts of ourselves that are less-than-desirable are places within us that need care and attention, not criticism and rejection. In fact, they likely became such undesirable traits and feelings because of someone else criticizing and rejecting them. We added that to our construction of this judgmental “God” inside of us.
Heal with Compassion
Take some time to connect with the places in you that you criticize and judge. Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Allow yourself to relax by taking mindful breaths. Every exhalation helps you to release and soften; every inhalation brings you into the present moment.
Notice what you feel in your body. When you think of what that “God” is judging, note the sensations in the body. Discern where you’re harboring that inner, rejected part of yourself in a palpable way. Feel the sensations.
Then, visualize what you’re judging. What does he, she, or it look like? Sit down with her. Let her know you see her and are there for her. Hold her hand, stroke her hair, hug her, or just sit patiently with her. Ask her how she feels and what she needs. Most of the time, the parts of ourselves that we want to get rid of are wounded parts of our inner child. Children need love and compassion in order to heal, and so do you.
As this part of you heals and is invited into your Wholeness, you’ll be able to see it as a precious part of you. It transforms, as the Buddhists say, into an ally. It becomes a bearer of sacred qualities for you. Give it time. You may have to connect with it many times, or be very patient, for it to transform. But it can, and if you persist, it will.
Allow Yourself to Be Seen by Unconditional Love
Through recognizing that we’ve internalized a judgmental idea of God, identifying our own inner critic, discovering the shamed and rejected parts of ourselves, and healing them into wholeness, we can turn to the Divine with a new perspective.
It can then feel safe enough to allow ourselves to be seen by this unconditionally loving presence. To be seen by God, the Divine, The Creator, Great Spirit – however you label it. We can open to the idea of being cherished, as the one and only unique expression of that Divine spark. It feels good to be truly seen, understood, accepted, and loved. Allow it.
And then see yourself as the Divine truly sees you.
If you struggle with self-compassion and a perception of the Divine that you believe judges you, Spiritual Mentoring could shift you into a loving relationship with Spirit and more kindness towards yourself. Or, pick up a copy of my book, Awakening from Anxiety: A Spiritual Guide to Living a More Calm, Confident, and Courageous Life!
by Connie Habash | Apr 9, 2019 | Anxiety, Compassion, Law of Attraction, Reality, Worry
In my forthcoming book, Awakening from Anxiety, I have a section on the 6 mistakes spiritual people make that increase their anxiety – and what to do about it. Here’s an article on one of the most common ones.
Many of us have heard of the Law of Attraction. It’s a spiritual concept that has become popular since the movie, “The Secret,” in the early 2000’s, but isn’t new. It’s actually ancient wisdom that we have rediscovered in a powerful way.
The Law of Attraction is based on physics – that like attracts like. Translated into our psycho-spiritual usage, we tend to attract in life what matches our thoughts. This is where the idea of “you create your reality” comes from. According to Law of Attraction, if you picture it, think it, believe it, it tends to manifest in your life.
Oh No! All Those Scary Thoughts!
I work with a lot of clients and students who struggle with stress, worry, and anxiety. The Law of Attraction, when misunderstood, tends to send them through the roof. They become even more anxious. I call this the Law of Anxiety.
They’re worrying about worrying. They’re afraid that every single fearful thought they have when they feel overwhelmed or stressed out is going to make things worse. They scrutinize themselves, and every time they notice they’re anxious, they freak out. “Oh no – you mean that all my worried, anxious, fearful thoughts are creating my reality? I’m messing everything up! I’m creating all kinds of worrisome things. My life is screwed!” The Law of Anxiety is: if you’re anxious, you’ll tend to become more anxious about having anxiety. Have you ever done that? You’re certainly not alone!
A Reality Check
You don’t need to get stressed out about having stressed-out thoughts. Let’s take a closer look at “you create your reality.”
The word reality is actually representing two things, if we break it down. One is the lower case “r” reality – the one that you’re “creating” with Law of Attraction. Yes, when you get worried and stressed out, you’re likely to experience more tension in your body, a faster heartrate, an anxious look on your face, which might affect how others respond to you. That’s true – and you have the power to change that.
Then, there is the capital “R” Reality – the Divine Reality. The substratum of everything in existence. This is unchanging, infinite Reality. It is Divine Love, the Source of everything that is. It is our consciousness within that witnesses our thoughts, emotions, sensations, and experiences, but isn’t any of them. Reality with the capital R is the Divine itself. It is that out of which everything is created. We don’t change this Reality with our thoughts.
The truth is that you don’t really create the reality “out there” – you can’t change the weather just by wanting it to be sunny all the time (and that could have detrimental consequences to the planet!). You create your experience of reality by how you respond to it, and by how you respond to your own thoughts. When you’re fearful, you’ll see an unsafe world. When you’re calm and at ease, you’ll experience safety. You have the power to choose once you become aware of your thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions.
Trust the Big Reality
Whenever you catch yourself having anxious thoughts – and then worrying about what those thoughts are creating – you can relax. Just because those thoughts came up doesn’t mean everything is going to be awful. The fact that you’re aware of them is a great sign, and gives you an opportunity to choose.
You can choose to believe in your thoughts – which are only fluctuations of energy and information, and not Reality – or you can choose to shift your focus to trusting in something bigger than you. Capital R Reality – the Divine.
Whatever you believe in – whether it is Nature or the Universe, God or Goddess, Truth or Love – you can pause and connect to that. There’s always a higher principle, something bigger than we are, that can carry us through. Nature always seems to know how to emerge from winter into spring. When we let go and allow that infinite potential to hold us for a bit, we realize that there’s a much greater force caring for you and I in this moment, and we don’t need to stress out so much about things. Most of the time, life works out.
Loving Your Worries
Of course, we know it isn’t that easy to let go of anxiety. That’s just one step. But when you become aware of those fearful thoughts, an opportunity is revealing itself to you. To create your reality anew, rather than creating things to worry about, you can stop and embrace yourself with love and compassion.
Fear and anxiety are signs that you need loving, kind, compassionate self-care, right now. You need a sense of safety and security. The best place to feel that security is right here, in this moment.
As a fearful thought arises, imagine the scared part of you within from which that thought arose. Thank that part of you for letting you know what you need. Worried about bills? Anxious about the future? Thank your scared part and give it some love. Embrace it in your imagination like you would a frightened child. It needs you to pay attention and be here with yourself.
Come right into this present moment, where you are sitting right now, and recognize that those worries are focused on a possible future moment that isn’t right here. In this moment, you’re probably OK if you are reading this blog. Look around at what is actually here, and listen to the sounds. Observe through your senses. Although everything may not be perfect, it’s probably OK. The more you can bring yourself into the safety and calm of this present moment, the less you’ll be stressed, and the more likely you’ll be effective at dealing with whatever needs to be addressed.
As you become more compassionate and present within yourself, you create a more calm, centered experience of reality, from within yourself.
Want to receive another helpful practice to calm your stress and anxiety? Take this free anxiety assessment!
And listen to my recent guest spot on this topic with Dr. Teralyn Sell’s podcast, Kick Up Your Damn Heels!
by Connie Habash | Oct 12, 2017 | Compassion, Overwhelm, Self-Care, Sensitivity
If you’ve found this article, you’re probably a deeply caring, compassionate person. The planet matters to you and you do your best to recycle and reuse. Maybe you volunteer at the local soup kitchen or animal shelter (or would like to if you had the time). You keep up with what is going on in the world and send prayers, supplies, or donations to help hurricane victims or the impoverished in another country.
But sometimes, it feels like too much. Your caring soul can get overloaded with the suffering of endangered species or the plight of children in war zones. Sometimes, it feels as if all the fear, pain, and torment of the planet courses through your veins, causing deep grief and sorrow.
If this sounds familiar, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) – naturally empathic, low tolerance for sensory stimulation, deeply moved by music, nature, and the arts, strongly emotional, and also easily overwhelmed.
You’re not alone – I struggle with this, too, and so do most of my clients and students. For sensitive people like you and me, empathy can feel overwhelming when the world appears to be falling apart at the seams with fires, floods, and global tensions. For HSPs, it’s easy to take on the feelings of despair and anxiety from victims of the latest fires in California or to worry incessantly about the threat of war.
It’s the gift and the bane of being an HSP. We want to be informed, we care so much, but we also find that it wipes us out. When we have absorbed more of the suffering of the world than we can tolerate, we set ourselves up for compassion fatigue. This can lead us to isolate, ignore our own needs for self-care, and even increase self-harming behaviors such as substance abuse.
Part of us probably wants to unplug from everything. That may be a healthy choice; but the other part of us fears that we’ll be uninformed, disconnected, and become callous and uncaring.
Don’t worry – you won’t. It’s your nature to care. And you don’t necessarily have to shut off cable and close your Facebook account. Here’s what HSPs (or anyone feeling overwhelmed with the troubles around them) can do during these challenging times to stay balanced and prevent burnout.
Create a Ritual Around Your Compassion Time
Rather than becoming consumed with despair, night and day, about what’s happening, funnel your empathic response into a limited time with a ritual. Choose a special place, indoors or out, to spend a specific amount of time in honor of those who are suffering. It can be as simple as sitting in your garden sending out love, lighting a candle at an altar and visualizing healing for those in pain, or chanting “peace” (if you like, in Sanskrit: “Shanti”) for several minutes. Make it meaningful and manageable: 10-20 minutes.
Limit Your Exposure to One Form of Media, for a Set Period of Time
Sensitive people are easily overloaded when they’re hearing about tragic events from multiple fronts. Rather than constant overstimulation from TV, radio, social media, and the newsfeed on your phone, narrow it down. If possible, limit yourself to just one form of media that keeps you up to date.
For me, it’s less disturbing but equally as informative to read the day’s news in some print form. I know myself well enough not to watch much of my news on television, as the sensory stimulation can send me over the edge.
Then, limit the time you get your updates. It’s easy to flip between cable networks and absorb the progress of the flood for hours. When in reality, 10-15 minutes will probably cover all the relevant information without making you feel as if you’re immersed in the devastation.
Take Action
We feel better when we do something that makes a difference. It gives us a sense of volition at a time when everything else feels out of control.
How can you help out? Neighbors and schools are gathering supplies to send to those who have lost everything. There are organizations you can donate money or time to. You can spend an afternoon helping an elderly neighbor in need. Animal shelters always need more food or people to help socialize the animals through presence, play, and touch. Doing something to help anything and anyone that you feel compassion for will help you feel less overstimulated and more empowered. Just don’t overdo it, or you’ll end up more exhausted!
Nurture Yourself, and Dedicate That to Something Greater
Just because the icecaps are melting doesn’t mean that you should neglect your own self-care. You need to take breaks when upsetting events in the world set you off-balance. Go for a walk, lunch with a friend, take a nap, sip some tea, take a yoga class, play ball at the gym, spend a few minutes breathing deeply, or meditate. Remember to make time regularly for whatever soothes, calms, and replenishes your spirit. As you feel the ease returning to your body and mind, imagine sharing that with the planet. Dedicate your self-care time to healing everyone’s hearts.
Although it may seem scary sometimes and overwhelming, by following these four tips, your sensitive and caring soul will weather the storms better until the clouds part.
Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) are known to be easily overwhelmed by the pressures of our fast-paced society, agitated by intense sensory experiences, and disturbed by violence and horror films. Maybe we are actually the sane ones, and the planet needs us.
It seems that the world around us is filled with problems and suffering sometimes – fires, floods, earthquakes, war torn countries, climate change – not to mention the pandemic. As naturally empathic and caring people, we may feel the pain of the world in our own heart and body. This can cause overwhelm and anxiety, and it’s not a particularly healthy or helpful response. Here’s what you can do to remain compassionate and also feel sane. [ excerpted from Chapter 7, “Feeling the Pain of the World” in my book, 
Whether it’s a Judeo-Christian form of the Divine or some other perception of “God,” many of us struggle with feeling that we don’t live up to Divine expectations of us. It’s time to change that perception.
In my forthcoming book, 
Loving Your Worries
If you’ve found this article, you’re probably a deeply caring, compassionate person. The planet matters to you and you do your best to recycle and reuse. Maybe you volunteer at the local soup kitchen or animal shelter (or would like to if you had the time). You keep up with what is going on in the world and send prayers, supplies, or donations to help hurricane victims or the impoverished in another country.
