by Connie Habash | Jan 16, 2018 | Challenges, Empowerment, Healing, journey, Transformation
I’ve been on a path of personal healing for a long time (probably like you). Physically, I have had acid reflux for over 3 years now, which has launched me into new and unprecedented explorations of healing. Mentally and emotionally, my healing journey has been much longer, dating back to my days of depression in my teens and 20’s.
Even though I’ve come a long way, I still find myself hopeful of a cure. We all look for the quickest, easiest way to feel better, on any level. Of course we would prefer instant well-being – who wouldn’t?
But I have also reflected on the difference between what it is to heal vs. what it is to cure. It’s a big difference, and worth considering as you follow your own path of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
What is Curing?
The Oxford dictionaries offer these definitions of to cure: Relieve (a person or animal) of the symptoms of a disease or condition; Eliminate (a disease or condition) with medical treatment; Solve (a problem).
Relieve, Eliminate, and Solve – all positive and hopeful when we look at disease or despair. We want to be relieved of our pain and suffering. We’d like our problems to be solved, even obliterated.
But I also run into some issues with the word cure, at least in how we use it. We’re often “looking for a cure” or want to “be cured”. That implies something or someone outside of us. When we want to be cured, we’re buying into the belief that we don’t have what we need within us to recover; or worse yet, that we’re the problem to be solved. As if there is something wrong with us, rather than a condition that we’re temporarily experiencing.
An End Point, or a Process?
The other part of the definition of cure that bugs me is the suggestion that one minute you’re sick, and the next you’re cured. It’s over. The end.
What is wrong with that, you might say? Don’t you want the disease to end? Absolutely. But we all know that, almost always, getting well or becoming the best we can be in life doesn’t happen like flipping a light switch. One day you’re off, the next day you’re on, and that’s that. No, even when given a “cure”, there is a period of time needed for the cure to work.
You might be cured of symptoms or a problem, but healing is a process – a very special process – that takes you on a much deeper journey. Let’s take a look at what healing truly means.
Definition of “To Heal”
When we consider the definition of healing, in contrast, we find some other implications. To Heal is to “restore to health” or “become sound or healthy again”. Again. That means that our original state is health and well-being. It’s something we innately have. Healing acknowledges that legacy – that we are already sound and whole, but need to find our way back to that.
Another interesting meaning of healing from the Merriam-Webster dictionary is to “restore to original purity or integrity”. This implies something more profound than physical or even emotional health, but returning us to our true nature, which is untainted. We are already pure essence – we originated in that. Healing is the process by which we rediscover that essence within us; as a result, the body and heart become sound and whole again.
It’s Within Us
This means that it isn’t outside of us – it’s within us. When you undergo healing, even though you may be taking medicine or being treated by someone else, it is your body and your Spirit that are doing the healing, with the assistance of herbs or support by another. Yes, you could look at it as someone else “healing” you. But the body has its own system of healing built in, through the immune system and the many processes within you to remove damaged cells and replace them with healthy ones. It simply needs that process kick-started or bolstered in order to do its job. The body wouldn’t heal by the external substances alone – its own natural healing capacity works synergistically with whatever or whoever is offering the healing.
I believe in and have experienced the same with mental, emotional, and spiritual healing. We already have what we need within – the ability to be aware, to change, to transform, to love ourselves, to forgive – in order to heal a broken heart or spirit. Sometimes, we are in need of someone else or something else, whether a book or program to listen to or a counselor or coach, to help us find those amazing parts of ourselves. Once we do, the healing happens within us, through us, by us. No one can do it for us.
You’re Empowered to Heal
When you’re looking for a cure, or someone to cure you, you’re not only looking outside yourself, but you’re giving away your power. It is really that medicine, that doctor, that therapist, this is responsible for returning you to health? Or was it your willingness to seek out treatment, to open yourself to new possibilities, to undergo the challenges of change, to step out of your comfort zone, or to discipline yourself to change your diet or your thoughts that brought about the change? Probably a bit of both, but without the power within you, the “cures” wouldn’t have an effect.
Healing, although it can be assisted by herbs, medication, or lifestyle changes, comes from within you. Your body, heart, mind and spirit are designed to be able to heal, from your built-in immune system to the capacity of your mind to change your thoughts and the ability of the heart to love again, even after heartbreak.
You can look outside for a cure, but when you look to heal, you’re looking both outside and within. You are in partnership with whatever and whoever you find to help you recover your health. Healing is claiming your power in your life, by recognizing that it comes from within you – body, heart, mind, and spirit. Being cured is relieving and freeing, but healing is that plus deeply transforming.
True healing – and an effective healer – spark than innate gift of your ability to return to well-being and happiness. Your natural state is that of love, harmony, health, and ease, but we lost our balance and our way in the distractions and upsets of life. All we need is a guide to set us back on our natural course of well-being.
Are You A Problem to Be Fixed?
Curing looks at a problem – a disease, an issue – and tries to fix it. The essence of curing someone or yourself is the idea that there’s something wrong and we need to make it go away. Everyone would love a magic pill to cure us of weight problems, smoking, depression – and drug companies have enticed us with this attractive idea. But the truth is that the cravings still exist, and the root cause of the sadness won’t magically go away. Many people who have sought this kind of cure have only experienced limited success.
Are you really a problem to be fixed? Is there something “wrong” with your body? Can you flip a switch and make everything in your life all better? We know the answer. Which is why I am oriented personally and professionally towards the concept of healing, rather than curing.
A Journey, Not a Destination
In contrast to curing, which indicates a final result and you’re “done”, healing is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight, it’s not always easy (although it doesn’t have to be extremely difficult, either), and frankly, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Did you ever read the Odyssey, by Homer, in high school or college? To be honest, I don’t remember a lot of details of the book. What I do remember is that Odysseus went through a very long, challenging (and exciting!) journey in order to finally return home. What’s the point of going through all that (and reading all those hundreds of pages)? Because through his journey and all the trials and tribulations he overcame, he transformed, from a prideful leader into a wise and prudent king.
The process of healing not only remedies whatever malady we have struggled with; it awakens aspects of ourselves that would have otherwise lain dormant. We become more patient, courageous, compassionate, or faithful. Each healing journey is unique, and offers us unique gifts. We have an opportunity to learn and grow through healing. Although a quick cure would be easier and more immediate, we’d miss out on the rich rewards of the healing journey.
Life-Sustaining
Healing is a process designed to carry you through the long haul. A cure is specific to a malady; healing is universal. When you heal, you retain the knowledge, in the cells of your body as well as your mind, that you have gone through a healing process. It’s an inner-knowing that you can access again and again to support you at any point in your life that you might need it. You’ll know you have what you need within you when you’ve allowed yourself to consciously embark upon a healing journey. Healing sustains you through the ups and downs of life.
Even if it has taken a long time, trust in your healing journey. It’s taking you to places of empowerment, authenticity, insight, and awareness that you would never have experienced before.
Copyright ©2018 by Rev. Connie L. Habash
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by Connie Habash | Nov 19, 2017 | Acceptance, Challenges, Choices, Divine, Gratitude, Let Go, Mindfulness, Presence, Release, Seasons, Self-Care
Thanksgiving: a unique American holiday that is universal, unlimited by religion, race, or any category. It’s a special time to come together with family and friends to feel gratitude on this day of the celebration of abundance (oh yeah, and feasting!).
But for some of us, this isn’t an entirely pleasant holiday. We may be faced with “going home” to tension, crazy family dynamics, feeling ignored or attacked, possibly being the black sheep of the family. Perhaps you are hosting a large gathering, and stressed about pleasing everyone’s palates – or having everyone in your house! There may be a recent loss in the family that makes holidays, especially the most family-oriented one of the year, somewhat painful. Or we may be apart from our family, or feel that we don’t have one, and are faced with spending this holiday alone.
I have found myself in most of these scenarios at some point in my life. It’s difficult, and you’re not alone if you feel this way. But I have found, over the years, some ways to make Thanksgiving easier, more meaningful, and more fulfilling, no matter if you have a wonderful, warm family to spend it with or you find yourself feeling stressed and left out of the loop.
- Let go of expectations – Expectations increase the risk of disappointment. If you’re going home, set the intention to flow with whatever arises. You have what you need within you to respond appropriately. Having everyone over? Relax and accept that you’ve done your best: you don’t have any control beyond that. If you’ll be on your own, allow yourself to appreciate whatever you have.
- Take time for yourself – I tend to feel overwhelmed when surrounded by a lot of people, even (and sometimes especially!) my own relatives. I always plan for some alone time away from the pack, where I can rest, process, and re-center myself. Even if that is in the bathroom!
- Be present – When you’re with your family or friends, really be there in the moment. Notice when past situations, conflicts, or resentments arise in your mind; acknowledge them, and do your best to return to simply being there with what is right now. Listen, smell, taste, touch, and see. Feel your breath, chew slowly, notice what is happening within you and around you.
- Make other plans – If you’re alone for Thanksgiving, see if there are neighbors or friends in a similar boat you can share a meal with. Or create your own ideal day by yourself. You could take a hike, sit by the ocean, go to a movie, do a craft, etc.: whatever brings you joy and fulfillment. And if you are with family and you feel you need a break, make plans to go out for a while with whomever you feel most comfortable or meet up with some old friends in the area (and take some alone time, as mentioned above).
- Create a gratitude collage – It helps to find what you’re thankful for in your life, and focus on it. One way to do that is to create a collage, either with images (the traditional way) or words. Cut out pictures from magazines to represent what you feel grateful for in your life and in the world, and paste them on a board. Or use colorful markers to write the words of what and who you are grateful for. Get playful and creative!
- See the Divine in you and in everyone – Practice looking into other people’s eyes and envisioning their spirit, the Divine within them. It’s there if you are willing to see it. While you are at it, look in the mirror into your own eyes, and see it in yourself. This is the single most powerful practice I have found to connect myself to others, even people that I don’t particularly care for. It helps me overlook their (and my own) personality flaws and see a glimpse of our Oneness.
Remember that Thanksgiving is a once-a-year holiday; no matter how uncomfortable the circumstance of that day is, you’ll survive it. But to truly thrive in your life, use it as a jumping-off point to focus on gratitude every day. With that consistent practice, you can fill yourself with the abundance that life offers in every moment, overflowing.
Copyright © 2017 by Rev. Connie L. Habash
by Connie Habash | Dec 6, 2016 | Attention, Awareness, Challenges, Darkness, Divine, Inspiration, Light, Possibilities, Solstice
The cycle of the seasons here in the northern hemisphere is winding down to the longest night of the year – the winter Solstice. We enter the time of increased darkness and decreased temperatures. Yet, it is in the dark that the light shines most brightly; a candle during the daytime is hardly noticeable, but at night it is a beacon of light.
There are times when our lives seem overcome with more darkness than light. Yet these times can be powerful and transformative. Often, the darker moments are the ones that call forth our greatest gifts and the most inspiration and support from the Divine.
Celebration of Light
December is a month full of stories and traditions that reveal that sacred Light. Hanukkah is a celebration of the light of a temple oil lamp lasting far beyond what was deemed possible. The birth of Jesus is celebrated on Christmas, when a brilliant star shone in the heavens above the manger where he lay, guiding three wise men to honor him. And the winter solstice, though it marks the longest night of the year, represents the rebirth of the sun and initiates its growing light, leading up to summer.
It is a time of great celebration, but not all of us may feel like celebrating. You may feel some darkness lingering around you, either in the greater collective world or in your personal life. However, take heart; for these sacred traditions remind us that, if we hold to the Divine light within, we will be sustained and lead out of the darkness.
Attending to the Light
The key to this is, naturally, to attend to that light. I remember going on a Vision Quest in the summer of 1989 and learning the lesson of staying focused on the light – the fire, to be specific.
I had traveled out into the high desert of the Inyo Mountains with a group of about 20 people, all intent on a 3 night, solo vision quest. We spent the first three days in preparation, and then each went out on our own. For those three days of solo time, we fasted, contemplated, and prayed.
On the last of the 3 nights out, the task was to stay up the entire night in vigil, tending a fire and crying for a vision. The fire taught me many things, and one of them was to stay focused on it. In the pitch-dark of the desert, it’s hard to see anything beyond a few feet around the fire’s perimeter. It’s very quiet and still, yet occasionally there are soft noises, near or far. Without being able to use my sense of sight to see beyond the fire’s light-circle, it was easy to stare out into the darkness and let my imagination loose. I could believe that I saw many things dancing outside of my stone circle – many of my fears.
But the task required both an awareness of anything I sensed outside the circle, yet a primary focus on the light – tending the fire. It truly took most of my energy and attention to keep the fire going the entire night. The maintenance of the fire wasn’t just a task assigned – it was essential to keeping me warm. It also provided comfort and inspiration.
Light in the Midst of the Unknown
Our inner light – which is our Spiritual Self and connection to the Divine – is like that fire. It requires tending – attention and energy. And for it to continue to steadily burn, we cannot allow ourselves to be distracted by what might be hiding in the shadows around us, in that darkness of the unknown.
There’s a lot of unknown right now, and a lot of strange noises snapping and crackling in the media, in conversations at work or on the street, in the papers or on Facebook. If we allow our energy and attention to be sucked into the fear and imagination of what might happen, in that darkness of the unknown, we can lose sight of the inner Light and the fire is at risk of going out.
Your Attention Can Determine Your Destiny
Recently, I watched the 30th anniversary service of Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles, live-streamed on my computer. Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith (who is a great inspiration to me) said something that really stuck with me. He reminded us to be “aware of situations, but you don’t allow them to determine your destiny.” This is like being aware of sounds that may arise around the campfire, but to remain clear about what really needs your greatest attention – your inner Light, the connection to the Divine.
Our experiences in life are affected by our thoughts and where we put our attention. Yes, we need to attend to problems we are faced with. But if we dwell on them, obsess over them, worry about them, and spend all our energy and attention on the problems, then we’ll likely experience more of the problems. However, if we turn inward to the connection with something Greater and allow That to bring the light of new ideas, possibilities, and empowerment, then we shift to solutions and creating something positive out of the situation. That brings light to darkness.
Especially When It Is Dark
This inner connection is what sustains and guides us through tough times and also fills us with inspiration and joy in the good times. When we focus our attention on That, it shows us what is possible. The light of a candle can fill a whole room, even when it’s dark – especially when it is dark.
So, light some candles. Tend a fire. Find your inner connection to Spirit, even if it is just a spark. Watch a sunrise, the moonrise, or bright stars on a cold winter’s night. There is light out there, and right inside your heart. Trust in it and put your attention on it; allow it to lead you to brighter days ahead. Your true nature is that Beacon of Light.
Copyright © 2016 by Rev. Connie L. Habash
by Connie Habash | May 8, 2014 | Action, Beginning, Challenges, Change, Goals, Right Action, Uncategorized
I like to walk on the treadmill at the gym, since I don’t have a nice hilly area right out the door to walk. When I say “like”, however, that may not be the most accurate description.
For the first several minutes, I constantly look at the time – how much longer? It feels like a lot of effort, my legs feel stiff, my muscles cold and complaining. I question whether I can really do this today. I don’t feel like going up those hills, or walking so fast, or expending the effort. It seems daunting, and I am tempted to stop.
But once on the treadmill, it’s easier to keep going. As they say in physics, “a body in motion tends to stay in motion.” So I try to make it easy to begin. I start with a slow speed and lower hills, and gradually build up. I make it as unintimidating as possible.
Something happens for me at about that 13 minute mark. I hit my stride. It feels easier, more comfortable, and more enjoyable. I am warm, strong, and capable! I’m ready to challenge myself. My attitude and my body shift from resistance to embracing the experience.
So it is with our goals and aspirations. The most important step is to begin. It doesn’t matter whether you begin perfectly or not; what matters is that you start getting the energy in motion. Nothing will change if you do not take a step in the direction you long for.
You do not need to worry about how it will turn out. Do not compare yourself with who is already at the finish line. Start where you are, and get the ball rolling. Just begin.
If you want to meditate more, set out a cushion or sit down on that chair and give it a try for a minute. If you want to run a marathon, put on some running shoes and run a block. If you want to learn to play the piano, see if you can plunk out Mary Had a Little Lamb. Get started, wherever you are.
Rather than trying to swallow the whole enchilada right off the bat with unrealistic expectations, choose microactions. These are teeny, tiny little steps that are so doable, you can’t be intimidated.
Recently, I was helping a friend with cleaning out her house. She had a room packed to the gills with boxes of stuff to sort through and start giving away. Looking at the whole thing was overwhelming. In fact, she really wanted to avoid the whole thing.
But I knew the best way to tackle it was with a microaction. I told her we should just start, and maybe we only get to one box today, or half a box – that’s OK. It’s one less box you have to deal with. So we began.
I picked a box, and chose three things from it to show her. Keep, give away, or throw away? When she got through them, I went for another handful of items. I tried to focus on the smallest amount possible, so it was easy for her. I made it doable. Before we knew it, we had cleared out three boxes, and I was hauling a bunch of bags off to the Goodwill to give away.
So what are your goals? What do you long to change in your life? Brainstorm some microactions you can take to set the wheels in motion, and just begin. Make it doable. Let go of your expectations and start easy. Once you hit your stride, the energy will flow, and the universe will flood you with support to keep it going.
by Connie Habash | Mar 14, 2014 | Acceptance, Appreciation, Challenges, Gratitude, Healing, Patience, Trust
I was lying on a treatment table at my acupuncturist’s office, with a painful ear infection. I had felt mentally, emotionally, and energetically better since the first treatment two days ago, but the ears continued to feel blocked, and I still was spitting up yellow phlegm.
Nalinee, my acupuncturist, talked about how much my energy field had improved. In her Thai accent, she reminded me of the power of the mind, and how harnessing that would facilitate healing.
I knew that, of course, but had been humbled. I had been struggling with my emotions for several days, feeling fearful and sometimes depressed, and had not been able to make the full shift in my consciousness to a true healing mentality. I wasn’t practicing what I knew.
I confessed that I had not been drinking enough water the last couple of days and had begun upping the intake that morning. She talked about the importance of the blood in the body, and water.
I felt a shift in myself. My mind turned over – water… thoughts…
“It makes me think of Dr. Emoto’s work – how the energy of the word would change the formation of the water crystals,” I said.
“Oh, yes, you read Dr. Emoto’s work? Very powerful. Very good,” Nalinee said.
A spark lit somewhere within me – “Wow… I can change all of my blood with my thoughts, because it’s water – most of my body is water!” She smiled at me, as if saying “ah-ha! Yes!.”
She relayed a story to me about water and her body’s healing reaction. “I had a glass of water sitting on the counter, next to a glass of water that I had put flowers in from my garden. The flowers had been there for a few days, and I took them out of the water. Then, I picked up my glass to drink from, and took some water from it. But then I saw the other glass on the counter and realized that I didn’t know which glass I had drank from – my water glass, or the glass that had the flowers in it. A few hours later, I threw up. And I expressed gratitude to my body for its ability to know what was bad for it and to get it out. You know how much better you feel after you throw up? I was very grateful for throwing up.”
I pondered this – to be grateful for vomiting. How many people would consider that, eh?! I don’t often think of it that way, but yes, there were times when I got sick to my stomach and I was so relieved after vomiting. The body relaxed and said, yes, you’re OK now. Throwing up is a blessing when it saves you from harm.
Then, she brought her hands to her solar plexus, closed her eyes, and said, “You can say this: I am so very grateful for my body. I am so very grateful to the earth. I am grateful for all of creation. And may all other beings also feel this gratitude, and this healing.”
The last of the needles had been placed in my feet, legs, chest, ears, and head, and she left the room to allow me to rest.
Deep from within my heart, the gratitude welled up. I felt so very grateful for healing from this infection. I felt gratitude to my body for its ability to heal. I went through every part of my body I could think of – the organs, the tissues, the structure, the fluids – and one by one, expressed my deep gratitude for them. The energy of the gratitude was like a radiant sun, shining from my heart out into every cell of my being. I then thanked my chakras, one by one, and felt them all fill my being with their light. Tears streamed down my cheeks towards my ears – my ears that are receiving this healing.
While I rested, my body vibrated with this deep appreciation, which was like a joyful stream of radiance, shining out from my center in waves, again and again. It was ecstasy. I wanted to cling to it, to keep it, but I knew it would do what it did and clinging only made it dissipate. So I breathed deeply and rode the waves, building at times, and other times just quietly blessing me with ease.
I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I would heal. My ears would heal. I had been doubtful since the ear infection started 4 days ago. Now I was certain, and I relaxed.
After lunch back at home, I went outside in my garden. As I had been feeling the deep gratitude for everything on the acupuncture table, I wanted to come home and touch the earth. Feel the grass between my fingers. Listen blissfully to the birds in the oak tree, and delight in the squirrels digging for their acorns. There was so much to be grateful for, and I wanted to drink it all in.
Thank you, Nalinee, for re-awakening the power of Gratitude within me.
by Connie Habash | Sep 11, 2013 | Acceptance, Challenges, Contentment, Persistence
I was in the backyard today, cleaning off our patio table and chairs, when I heard a tapping sound. I looked around, but couldn’t find it. I figured it was probably one of our many squirrels in the yard, trying to break open an acorn, so I went back to my cleanup.
The sound started again, and this time I looked up into the old, broad oak tree that dominates most of our yard. There it was – a woodpecker, the red crest on its head and the familiar black and white spotted feathers. We have had woodpeckers out in our front yard, particularly on the telephone pole, rapping away off and on for years, but I’ve never seen one in our backyard.
So I figured this was a special moment – a message for me. I watched as he persisted in pecking away at the branch, and occasionally pausing to swallow an insect he managed to uncover. I wondered at his design, how he was made for such repeated banging of his head and rattling of his neck. Made my own neck feel much better – what did I have to complain about?
What does the woodpecker say to me today? Is it to stop banging my head for little reward? No – this little woodpecker seemed quite content, even happy, to be doing what he is doing. It is his nature to find his food this way. So why would it seem like banging himself?
Am I resisting what it is that I need to do? Perhaps I can embrace how it is, and rather than look at it as work, just appreciate that I’m designed to be able to meet the challenges in my life… and also that it can be fun. Or at least pleasing to find those morsels! I can trust that I’ll get what I need.
Is it that I should keep persisting, to not give up, even if the wood it tough and it’s not so easy to reach my goal? Just like my daughter when she blows up and says she can’t do her homework, I know that she and I can trust a little more and persist a little more. To know that we both have what we need within us to get the job done, or to make it to the other side of this mountain of emotions.
I’m going to sit with this some more… what are your ideas? What does the woodpecker say to you?
by Connie Habash | Aug 27, 2013 | Acceptance, Challenges
Sometimes, it seems like one thing after another. Other times, just one thing seems like too much. This could have been too much, if I had let it.
Last week, I opened our hall closet door, underneath the stairwell, to get a jacket for my daughter. A strong odor assaulted me. Oh no. I knew this was bad. It smelled like mold.
Removing the coats and jackets so I could see better, I turned on the light, but still couldn’t make out what the problem was. I bent down to touch the carpet – soaked. Yikes! As I moved things aside, I looked up, and there was the culprit: a dripping fire sprinkler. What in the world was a fire sprinkler doing inside of a hall closet, I have no idea, but there it was dribbling over everything. Who knows how long it had been going on.
The next couple of hours were spent rapidly grabbing things and hauling them out the front door onto the walkway outside. My husband arrived home and was immediately enlisted. Boxes were soaked on the bottom with mold growing up them. Some contents had to be junked right away. I was helping to carry things back and forth in one hand while making calls to water restoration companies in the other.
In the past, I may have panicked as I contemplated both the loss of sentimental items and the cost of what it will take to clean out the mold and do the repairs. I might have freaked out about the possibility of health problems from the mold.
But I didn’t. I was, for the most part, calm and focused. What needs to be done? Let’s do it. Deal with the situation. Contemplate later.
As I looked at the ruined items, I knew I was OK. Things come and go. Yeah, I’ll miss them. But they were part of my past, anyway.
I knew that the most important things I still had – my family, the love between us, my health. Not to mention that it could have been a lot worse.
Yes, it’s really just a small disaster. It’s a week later, and most of the repairs are done. Most of the damaged goods were swept away by the garbage truck. A few things remain to be dealt with, but all in all, it wasn’t so bad. I saved myself a lot of stress and anguish by accepting it and flowing with it.
Small disasters make me grateful. I think of the victims of the tsunamis, earthquakes, hurricanes over the last few years. This is just a drop in the ocean. We are very fortunate.
I look at my daughter, my husband. I wrap my warm, soft blanket around me in bed. There’s so much to be grateful for. I trust that we’re taken care of, that everything we need to repair and clean up is there.
Thank you, God, for a small disaster. It reminds me of all the blessings we have.
by Connie Habash | Jun 11, 2013 | Awareness, Challenges, Choices, Contentment, Emotions, Fear, Presence
We all have times when we’re faced with fears or challenges. It’s part of life.
But sometimes those challenges seem overwhelming. Our minds blow them up into crises, replaying the many terrifying, possible scenarios over and over again in our minds, until we become agitated, anxious, or immobilized.
Are any of those scenarios actually happening? Chances are pretty good that they aren’t. But our bodies do not know the difference. When the mind creates images and thoughts that are fearful, our bodies react with the same chemicals that are produced when we are faced with a true threat to our life.
Which means that we are creating unnecessary stress and trauma in our minds, with little or no basis in reality. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Does this help us solve the problem? Not likely. It’s only harming us, with little if any benefit.
You don’t have to do this. You can bring your mind back to reality, and back to inner peace. The yogis call this Santosha. It’s the inner feeling of contentment, of accepting what is, of knowing that underneath all the external appearances, we’re OK. It’s a solid foundation within.
Tapping into Santosha allows you to better respond when in difficult situations. What is more effective in a crisis – becoming stressed and freaking out, or remaining calm, cool, and collected?
Here are some simple steps to help return you to Santosha. Because Santosha is always within you. It’s just that sometimes we forget and lose our way there.
1) Breathe. That’s always the first step, no matter what you’re doing. Be conscious of your breath. This helps to bring you back to reality in this present moment (chances are, you’re just sitting here, breathing, in front of the computer, not actually in the scenario you’re playing over and over in your head.)
2) Assess the situation. Take some time to consider what is actually and presently occurring in the situation. Stick with the facts.
3) Feel your emotions. Running away from the fear, or trying to deny it, only serves to intensify the emotion. Feel the sensations of the emotion in your body, like tension, pressure, or restlessness, and breathe into the sensations. If you give this some time, they’ll begin to shift.
4) Consider your choices. Come up with a list of your options to respond to the situation, including no response at all. Feel into the ramifications of each action.
5) Act. Do what is appropriate to do right now. It can include the decision to wait a few days before you decide how to act. It may also include no action, prayer, offering loving support, setting a firm boundary, asking for help. You may realize you can’t do anything right now. Just see what is available and appropriate right now.
6) Let it go. When you’ve taken whatever action feels right and is appropriate to do right now, then let it go. When we let go, we let God, as it is often said. This allows something greater than us to do the big work. It is an act of trust that there are larger shoulders than us that carry this situation. It also is a recognition that there is nothing else for you to do right now. If you need to follow up with another action at a later date, you’ll know.
7) Breathe. Return yourself to this moment, just as it is. Breathing in, breathing out.
Check in with yourself. After doing all seven steps, feel the shift out of the mind and into the present. When we’re in the present, Santosha awaits us, wondering where we’ve been.
Copyright © 2013 by Constance L. Habash
I’ve been on a path of personal healing for a long time (probably like you). Physically, I have had acid reflux for over 3 years now, which has launched me into new and unprecedented explorations of healing. Mentally and emotionally, my healing journey has been much longer, dating back to my days of depression in my teens and 20’s.
Thanksgiving: a unique American holiday that is universal, unlimited by religion, race, or any category. It’s a special time to come together with family and friends to feel gratitude on this day of the celebration of abundance (oh yeah, and feasting!).
The cycle of the seasons here in the northern hemisphere is winding down to the longest night of the year – the winter Solstice. We enter the time of increased darkness and decreased temperatures. Yet, it is in the dark that the light shines most brightly; a candle during the daytime is hardly noticeable, but at night it is a beacon of light.
I like to walk on the treadmill at the gym, since I don’t have a nice hilly area right out the door to walk. When I say “like”, however, that may not be the most accurate description.
I was lying on a treatment table at my acupuncturist’s office, with a painful ear infection. I had felt mentally, emotionally, and energetically better since the first treatment two days ago, but the ears continued to feel blocked, and I still was spitting up yellow phlegm.
I was in the backyard today, cleaning off our patio table and chairs, when I heard a tapping sound. I looked around, but couldn’t find it. I figured it was probably one of our many squirrels in the yard, trying to break open an acorn, so I went back to my cleanup.
Sometimes, it seems like one thing after another. Other times, just one thing seems like too much. This could have been too much, if I had let it.
We all have times when we’re faced with fears or challenges. It’s part of life.
